Read 'Em and Weep
Motherhood changes everything, especially reading habits.
by Amanda Ward
November 29, 2007
One hundred percent of the women I polled said they began devouring cheesy magazines during the blurry months of new-mom-hood. "I read a lot of Us Weekly when the baby was very small," admitted a friend, "A short article at a time was all I could handle. Stars — they're just like us! They buy lattes! They put money in the parking meter!"
Another mother gave me hope when she said the first book she finished post-baby was Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress. Then she added, "I can't remember a blessed word of the book." Even highbrow mothers agree that the attention span is gone with the wind. A friend liked "Trollope, because it's very episodic. Pick it up, put it down, pick it back up two days later."
One thing every mom seems to have in common is the inability to read books where something bad happens to a child. "From the time my eldest was born until about the time my youngest went into first grade," a poster on Readerville.com, a site for bookworms, said, "I couldn't read adult books where kids were kidnapped or threatened or killed. As my kids got older, my troubles with books with these plots disappeared."
An Austin friend emailed, "I just can't read anything heavy or too sad anymore. I feel like I've got enough weighing me down without seeking out books or films that are a downer to my mood! Like this summer, my husband wanted to watch the movie Blood Diamond. I bawled like a baby through the whole thing just feelingOne thing every mom seems to have in common is the inability to read books where something bad happens to a child. awful that children could be treated that way. Even though many books and films are based on real events, I find that after having kids I have a lot more trouble separating truth from fiction."
I thought this was fascinating, so I contacted Katherine Ellison, author of The Mommy Brain, which argues that motherhood makes us smarter. "The fact is as new moms we've basically got our priorities, and brains, rearranged, so that protecting this new life form goes to the front of the line," Katherine said. "That would make us much more aware and sensitive to threats and dangers, just as Mother Nature would want."
She also offers some justification for the unopened War and Peace that's still sitting on my nursery shelf: "An inability to focus on some things merely means we are switching our focus to the incredible job of learning all about this new universe of being a mother and having an offspring in our trust. A great deal of our bandwidth, for a relatively short period, is taken up by that challenging project."
A friend had another scientific take: "I read somewhere a long time ago that babies get their brains from their mothers. I've decided that's why some of us are complete dingbats while pregnant. The baby is sucking all our smarts out!"
Nonetheless, seven months after my second son was born, I finally finished a book. It was Leaving Dirty Jersey, a Crystal Meth Memoir. I ignored raised eyebrows at the playground and kept turning pages. Somehow, the story of a paranoid man desperately seeking a sense of peace and a few hours of sleep spoke to me.
Next up: Tweaked, a Crystal Memoir. Then I'll dive into Tolstoy, right after I finish this week's People and Cat Crimes for the Holidays.
©2007 Amanda Ward and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Amanda Eyre Ward's new novel, Forgive Me, will be published in paperback in January 2008. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her family. Visit amandaward.com. |
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