The Animaniacs are for those parents who might go bonkers listening to another dippy clean-up song. This wacky Steven Spielberg show references Goodfellas, parodies Sondheim, and lavishes in such slapstick non-sequiturs as sung in the opening intro: "We're zany to the max / There's baloney in our slacks." The show's second DVD collection, released on December 25, follows the continuing misadventures of Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Warner, three cartoon characters so off-the-wall that Warner Bros. wants to lock them away in a water tower. But in this world — like yours — madness rules. — Sarah Hepola

A dozen Gap-clad kids, a nice lady, and an animated monkey lead kids at home in fun dance and exercise.

SADIE: [pedaling furiously in the air] Look at, I'm riding to the park.
WOLF: [groans extensively as he "peddles to the top of the hill"; yelps in terror as he "pedals down the hill."] This is like our yoga class.
LISA: Except it's a lot less expensive.
SADIE: I'm inside the chrysalis!
LISA: Wolf, are you a butterfly too?
SADIE: He's a moth. I'm a butterfly. All boys are moths.
WOLF: [resigned] I'm a moth.
LISA: I am so in love with this DVD. What a great way to keep your cheeks pink in the winter. I think it's going to change your lives. Of course, I thought that about Jane Fonda for me in the '80s.

There are lots of cute partner activities too. If you're lazy like me and you have an only child, invite a little friend over. Better yet, have another kid. Once past the first, difficult year, they'll entertain each other and you'll never have to move again!

—Lisa Carver, Wolf (twelve), Sadie (four)

Two gray-haired men singing, one short, one tall.

WOLF: I fall asleep at this.
SADIE: I stick my foot at it.
LISA: The crowd likes it. They're all clapping. Yet they must know how stultifying this is — they're right there! How do you explain group mentality? At your school, when one person starts running, does everyone else run?
SADIE: If Colin's there. Because Colin's always The Bad Guy.

—Lisa Carver, Wolf (twelve), Sadie (four)

I was quite excited at Diamond Entertainment's re-issue of 1959's The Giant Gila Monster and The Killer Shrews (both directed by Ray Kellogg). Remember when horror movies consisted of filming some people in front of some woods, then filming an iguana in front of some twigs that are dressed up to look like trees? These crude villains of yesteryear appeal to kids in a way our more stylishly realistic ones never will: Gila and Shrew were not evil; they were simply too big. Just as children are too little for the world they find themselves needing to navigate. As we do every week, Sadie (four), Wolf (twelve) and I sat down to watch it — Lisa Carver

The Giant Gila Monster
LISA: This is set out west, where it's "bleak and desolate, where no human ever goes and no light is ever seen." But there's a couple of teenagers, neckin'. Oh no, what happened?
SADIE: The gila monster happened.
WOLF: It's a little bit upsetting that there's no color.
LISA: It's an art form. Shadows are beautiful.
SADIE: But I don't know what colors the cars are.
WOLF: Well, they're still talking fine in black and white!
LISA: And talking and talking. Life moved slower in the '50s. Less happened. There was more time to talk about it.
WOLF: I still like this better than modern movies. It has gila monsters, cool cars.
LISA: There was a bigger division between teenagers and old people back then. This movie has kids in packs in the soda shop, and in the garage working with grease — acts of rebellion, forbidden love, their own language, like "Thanks, Dad, you're a cotton-pickin' friend!"
WOLF: The bad guy's not evil, like The Unknown. He's just hungry.
SADIE: I'm sad for Gila Monster. They're all hunting him down. Poor Gila Monster.
WOLF: Everybody's got to eat.

The Killer Shrews
SADIE: I don't like this one so far. It's just so much talking and there's a boat and it's both boys. I would rather have two girls in movies. It bothers me that it's so dark. Where's the shrew?
WOLF: I like it because it's two boys and a boat.
SADIE: I'm glad, actually, because the boys are gonna get eaten, then there will be less boys.
LISA: Do you guys understand the scientists? They say if humans were half our size, we'd live twice as long, because of the metabolism.
WOLF: That's nice.
LISA: But something went terribly wrong with the experiment on the shrews of this island. Oh no — the black guy is alone outside.
SADIE: I hear that haunting music.
LISA: Oh no. [The shrews ate the black guy.] Uh oh — a Mexican guy and a white guy going down in a cellar.
[The shrew eats the Mexican guy and the white guy shoots the shrew.]
SADIE: Poor shrew.
LISA: Poor Mexican. Who do you think is gonna get it next?
SADIE: The drunk guy. Cause he's drunk.
LISA: I think you're right. Horror films were as racist and moralistic yesterday as they are today. Nope. The boring guy got it. The End! What did you guys think?
SADIE: More, Mommy-o!

The precocious older sibling to Sesame Street, The Electric Company was education with a wink. Its sly, punning style became a blueprint for future kids' entertainment and keeps the show entertaining for those of us who already know how to spell (judging by the internet, a vast minority). A multiculti cast including Morgan Freeman and Rita Moreno (and Bill Cosby in the first season) offers wisdom for the ages: Be nice to everyone, and sometimes the "e" is silent. "The Six Dollar and 39-Cent Man," a parody of the Six Million Dollar Man, still cracks me up. And as far as '70s TV catchphrases go, "Hey you guuuuys!" is up there with "Dy-no-miiite." — Sarah Hepola

I have spent three days, six hours, three half-Xanaxes, and $200 in lawyer's fees to "get" the kids for Christmas morning this year. This was very irritating to me, and I yelled at my children. They yelled at each other, and one of them cried. Then, grumbling, we watched this very simply plotted, simply illustrated movie (because we had to — it's our job) and all three of us suddenly remembered that it's not at all about getting what you want. It's about being thrilled at what is. And I am. We are. Thanks. — Lisa Carver, Wolf (twelve), Sadie (four)

SADIE & WOLF: [chattering]
LISA: Shhh! This is my favorite movie! Aw, Snoopy loves to steal Linus's blanket. Wolf, quit laughing, I can't hear. Snoopy's so groovy.
SADIE: He's always up to something, isn't he?
LISA: No one's listening to Charlie Brown. How's he supposed to be the director of the Christmas play?
SADIE: Uh oh! Santa's going to give Lucy a lump of coal.
LISA: That's just a myth. Santa loves all children, even when they're rotten. He doesn't care. The difference is, Lucy is never satisfied with what she gets. She wants real estate.
SADIE: Why is even Snoopy laughing at Charlie Brown?
LISA: I guess he's not the dog I thought he was.
WOLF: Everyone said Charlie Brown's tree was puny and tipping over. I think the tree was pretty good. Even though it's different, it's still beautiful. Then all the kids went out and saw the star, even Snoopy, and then they knew the tree was beautiful. Maybe it was a Jesus star.
LISA: For reals! It's His birthday!
WOLF: You know what we should do this Christmas? Make a cake that He likes, but we eat it.