We all know kids say the darndest things. They sure do the darndest things too. And lucky for us, these parents captured the precious (and not-so-precious) moments on film. We trolled YouTube to bring you the best: Foul-mouthed toddlers? Check. Belly-dancing babies? Check. A two-year-old explaining World War II? Check. So take a gander at the hysterical, adorable, incredible things kids do just by being themselves. — Lindsay Armstrong, Emily Frost and Andrea Zimmerman
#50 Toddler Takes Out the Trash A mom hears, "Mommy, I need some help . . ." and this is what Mom finds in the hallway.#49 Baby Falling Asleep on Couch Sometimes, you just don't have the stamina for that last cartoon.#48 Ask a Toddler A tutorial in tantrum-throwing by a very cute (and only slightly coached) little girl. Skip ahead to 25 seconds to bypass the annoying intro.#47 Hip Hop Baby This baby doesn't "dance" so much as "fall all over the bathroom floor." Still, this may give you a new appreciation for downloadable ringtones.#46 Ninja Baby Is this a lost audition tape for Shanghai Noon: Baby's Revenge?#45 Hiccups Hiccups that won't go away? So freaking annoying. Baby hiccups that won't go away? Now that's another story.#44 Bumpin' Just another Saturday afternoon, kicking back to Matisyahu. Raise the sedan roof!#43 Kid in Recording Studio Give a kid a microphone and a recording studio, and watch what . . . Wait, what parents give their kids a recording studio? Regardless, this toddler's "Route 66" cover is pretty darn cute. Especially his rocker scream at the finale.#42 Should We Give Away Your Baby Brother? There's a fine line between sibling love and straight-up possessiveness, but we'll give this cute kid and her newborn brother the benefit of the doubt.#41 What a Pregnancy Test is For. It just goes to show, there's a test for everything these days. 50-41 40-3130-2120-1110-1
#40 Baby with the Deep Laugh Baby Morgan sounds exactly like Fat Albert. Yeah, it's adorable now, but does anyone else worry about how this will affect her dating life in fifteen years?#39 Belly-Dancing Baby If anybody should be showing off their belly via an ancient interpretative dance form, it's a baby.#38 Where do babies come from? Answer: from the same place as your discount bulk bags of Fruit Loops.#37 Cute Japanese Kids Dancing We're not sure why these toddlers are dressed as Teletubbies or, really, what they're doing at all. But the one in red is a rockstar. And obviously the only one who showed up for dance practice. #36 Secret Baby Talk Just born, and already speaking an indecipherable twin language . . . #35 Kid Scared of Puppets We almost feel bad for this kid, but you can tell he's super-excited to be at the puppet show. He just chooses to convey his excitement through hysterical screaming and banging his head on chairs.#34 Baby Laughs with Mickey and Minnie This five-month-old doesn't know exactly what's going on, except that the people in the weird mouse outfits are hilarious.#33 I Want A Lollipop Noticing that her mother is out of lollipops, two-year-old Sophie calls her father at work to demand some answers. #32 What's in Your Tummy? This boy's in for a long birds & bees conversation one day, but for now, he's got it all figured out. #31 Can't Stay Awake, Can't Stop Jumping You can see the inner struggle on this poor little guy's face: "I'm so tired . . . but jumping is so much fun . . . but I'm so tired...." 50-41 40-31 30-2120-1110-1
#30 Thriller Just when you thought the Thriller dance couldn't get any better, here comes a three-year-old in pajamas to prove you wrong. Don't miss her faux-Michael-Jackson yelps during the last verse.#29 Kid Saying "Whatever." This will be less cute when she's a teenager.#28 I'm Not Scared of Monsters Clearly, this little girl is a strong believer in the "if I cover my eyes, the monsters can't see me" theory.#27 The Trigon Kid This local insurance company has some of the funniest commercials we've ever seen, thanks to a spokeskid who loves to ramble on about anything (except insurance). Listen to his play-by-play of a fight he saw in a movie, then watch him illuminate the difference between Spanish and spinach. #26 Blood! Ah, the misunderstood toddler. This little guy's weird pronunciation of "blood" will have you chuckling and repeating it all day. (And to all you concerned parents: according to the video's poster, the baby's fine.)#25 World War II Explained by a Two-Year-Old Somehow, the Germans cheated, Egyptians are involved and army houses are made out of clothes. It's possible, right? (And in case you're wondering, yes, this is the same girl responsible for "Kittens, Inspired by Kittens")#24 Obama Baby No matter what your political beliefs, you have to admit: "Obama" is just a fun word to say. (Even if you say it "O-ma-BA.")#23 Naptime's Over Potty humor was never so short and sweet. #22 Toddlers Get Political Why don't more public figures pontificate from the bathtub? So much more direct and personal. We're joining this baby's political camp. #21 Giggling Twins Baby #1: "You're so funny, brother!" Baby #2: "No, you're so funny, brother!" Baby #1: "No, you're so funny, brother!" Repeat. 50-4140-31 30-21 20-1110-1
#20 I'm Not Gay This three-year-old starts out the video by refusing to take a nap . . . and ends it in a very different place. #19 Pacifier Baby Who needs hand-eye coordination when you've got arms?#18 Toddler Leads the Celebration Little Will spontaneously leads a mob of Phillies Fans in a cheer — further proof that toddlers could take over the world, if they only had the motor skills. #17 Dance Dance Revolution We've played this game. It's hard. Really hard. The fact that this four-year-old would kick our ass does absolutely nothing for our ego. #16 Say "Firetruck" Quoth his parents, in the comments section: "This dude is five now, and can say TRUCK just fine . . . He out grew it, just like any normal kid would. It was funny when it happened three years ago, and it still makes me LOL today." Us too. #15 Baby Tries Her First Pickle Prediction: She's not going to be a Sour Patch Kid fan later in life. #14 Capucine, the French Storyteller This video makes us want to move to Paris and become a preschool teacher. #13 I Don't Like You, Mommy Honesty is the best policy. Or is it? Watch this three-year-old tell his Mom he only likes her when she gives him cookies. #12 Kittens, Inspired by Kittens It's the greatest story ever told . . . about kittens. Or as BoingBoing put it, it's "the best internet video in the history of all time this week."#11 Kid Singing "My Humps" We thought we'd be happy never to hear this Black Eyed Peas song again, but this little kid's fudged lyrics ("I'll be chirpy burpy nice!" "Don't poo on my hand boy, I'm just tryin' to dance boy!") make it worth a few more listens. 50-4140-3130-21 20-11 10-1
#10 Hey Jude The Beatles have been covered by The Rolling Stones, U2, and Jimi Hendrix. But the rock legends have nothing on this diaper-wearing, guitar-toting toddler's rendition of "Hey Jude."#9 Cute Girl Singing If YouTube had a karaoke champion, it would be this little girl, singing her heart out to an Indonesian love song.#8 Baby Tearing Paper Get it? See, because it's one piece of paper — and then when it rips, it becomes two pieces of paper! Nine-month-old Ethan thinks this is the best joke of all time. #7 Star Wars Explained by a Three-Year-Old Guess Star Wars isn't that complicated after all. The greatest trilogy of all time is explained in ninety seconds by a three-year-old. Her take on Darth Vader? "Don't talk back, or he'll getcha!" Smart girl. #6 Evil Eye Proof that toddlers are nefariously plotting our doom. And then laughing about it. #5 Nintendo 64 Beware when little kids get what they want. This boy's thrill at receiving a Nintendo 64 for Christmas is so frighteningly endearing, the video has been made into a death metal remix, Good Morning America invited the family to chat, and BMW ran the video in their Christmas ad campaign. #4 Kick His Ask! Plenty of videos feature little kids unknowingly swearing. But when this innocent, high-pitched three-year-old tells you what she would do if a monster came into her room, it's probably the sweetest accidental cuss word ever uttered.?#3 David After the Dentist With more than 20 million views, this video of disoriented seven-year-old David Devore recovering from anesthesia is a YouTube sensation. The video earned David advertising revenue and a trip to Disney World, but fame hasn't been all sweet. In March, David's parents defended themselves on the Today Show from critics who claimed they were exploiting their child.#2 Laughing Baby Swedish baby William has the most infectious belly laugh ever captured on video, as evidenced by the insane view count — over 85 million, making it the eighth most-viewed YouTube video of all time. The laughing baby has been the subject of a Slate article and a South Park spoof — it even made the Queen of England laugh. Well, chuckle. Well, smile, anyway. #1 Charlie Bit My Finger If you haven't seen this video of baby biting his brother's hand, you've been living in a hole. With more than 95 million views, the video's made British brothers Harry and Charlie two of YouTube's best-loved toddlers. The video has spawned countless video spoofs and TV appearances. The British brothers now have their own blog and fan club, too. They're also the reason we want a baby with a British accent. Can you blame us? 50-4140-3130-2120-11 10-1