One of the questions I get asked a lot as a mother of five kids, is "But how do you plan to pay for their college?"
The answer: I don't.
In some circles, this admission is tantamount to saying you lock your children in the closet as a form of discipline or let them eat nothing but Doritos for breakfast most days: not technically abuse, but a sure sign that you aren't really capable of meeting their needs. These days, any self-respecting middle-class mom knows that part of her job includes providing the means necessary for, at the very least, a four-year degree at the best institution to which her child is able to gain admission, plus the costs of room, board and books (and let's face it, beer).
I've even heard parents argue passionately against requiring college-going kids to hold part-time jobs to help defray costs, because twenty hours a week spent slinging burgers or answering the phone might prevent said young scholars from being able to "fully immerse" themselves in the college experience.
Cue the violins!
It's not that I'm anti-college. I think higher education is great, particularly when the student is motivated to succeed (which I personally was not until I was in my twenties — after I'd wasted plenty of money). I'd love it if each of my kids finishes school, whether pursuing a specific career goal or simply for the love of learning.
And philosophically, I'm not on board with the whole idea of making the transition to "real life" so easy on young folk. It's like we've come to expect that young adults shouldn't have to struggle. What about the time-honored tradition of sitting on milk crates, eating crappy food and checking out movies from the library for entertainment? Isn't that struggle in itself valuable to growth?
Besides, if we're looking at a college degree purely as an economic investment, we may want to think again. In a recent New York Times article, Matthew B. Crawford, author of the new book Shop Class as Soulcraft, writes: "There is a pervasive anxiety among parents that there is only one track to success for their children . . . A gifted young person who chooses to become a mechanic rather than to accumulate academic credentials is viewed as eccentric, if not self-destructive." But in the current economy, Crawford argues that the trades may be especially in demand — a worker in India, after all, can't fix your car over the Internet. "If the goal is to earn a living, then, maybe it isn't really true that eighteen-year-olds need to be imparted with a sense of panic about getting into college (though they certainly need to learn)," he writes.