You may recognize this sassy blonde from her appearances as a sex expert on The Today Show, E!, Fox News and MTV. By way of credentials, Levkoff has spent the past ten years in the sex education business and holds a Master's degree in Human Sexuality Education from the University of Pennsylvania. But her expertise isn't just for adults hoping to make sense of their passions and predilections. Levkoff's book, Third Base Ain't What it Used to Be: What Your Kids are Learning About Sex Today and How to Teach Them to Become Sexually Healthy Adults (NAL/Penguin, October 2007), gives parents new ways to tackle issues of sexuality. And according to Levkoff, no, you can't put off "the talk" until puberty arrives. Over a cup of tea, we dished with Levkoff about Oprah, Hooters ads and playing doctor. — Nicole Feliciano
As a self-described "sexpert" do you lead a wild social life?
I'm a married mom. A typical Friday night consists of putting on pjs and sharing a bottle of wine with our neighbors as we watch our kids race up and down the hallway.
Finding time for sex is challenging enough for overtaxed parents. What's a randy couple to do when a curious toddler walks in on the act?
First of all, they might not have any idea what they are seeing.
Many little boys become obsessed with their penises. What's a shy parent to do when children start exploring down there?
Not make a big deal out of it! My three-year-old son does it all the time. It's completely normal. But if something is done in public you can say, "When we get home and you have some time to yourself, you can explore." Kids are smart and manipulative. The bigger reaction you give them, the more they are going to do it.
We're big into the time-saving group bath. When do we have to pull the plug on this?
It depends on your family. When you get uncomfortable, pull the plug. With one family I know, the dad wears shorts when he bathes with his three-year-old daughter. Covering genitals will only bring more attention to those body parts. The easier thing to do would be to have the tot take her own bath. But don't let the kids think it's about their bodies. Instead say, "We're playing too much and not getting clean. It's time for you to take your bath alone." In other families, the child will dictate when they want privacy.
What's your beef with Oprah's "vajayjay"?
I wrote a letter to the editor of the The New York Times in response to Stephanie Rosenbloom's article ''What Did You Call It?'' (referring to Oprah's euphemism for her vagina) in the "Sunday Styles" section. There are a couple of things wrong here. When you use slang or street terms, you infantilize important body parts. These are body parts. Technically no different from any other body parts . . . eyes, ears, nose. As parents, we need a universal language for these parts. Second, slang denies girls and women the opportunity to feel good about their bodies and their sexuality — teaching them that their parts aren't good enough and are dirty. The effect on young women is drastic. Girls grow up detached from their bodies. They grow up with little understanding of how important and pleasurable these parts are.
Advertising is pretty sexy these days. How do you explain all the buff dudes and big breasts bombarding our kids?
If your kids have questions, answer them. Find out what they are asking. For example, do they want to know why that woman in the bikini selling a car has giant breasts and you don't? Maybe they want to know why breasts come in different sizes. Perhaps this is a perfect time to ask them, "What do you think would be a better way to sell a car?" On the positive side, the media provides us with incredible opportunities to talk about sexuality as a whole . . . body parts, family makeup, portrayal of gender. Even with three-year-olds we have to be proactive about sex talk. We are laying the groundwork for how our kids develop as sexual beings.