“So, what kind of fertility drugs did you use?”
And when I tell them I didn’t use any, they look at me like I’m lying.
Believe, me, if I took some drugs or got IVF, I’d be telling everyone how I did it. I am a believer in sharing information. As a matter of fact, when my doctor told me that I couldn’t have kids because my eggs were rotten, I went around telling people I was infertile. I started using that word because when we decided to adopt, I’d always, and I mean always, be met with people saying “but you can have one of your own too.” After glaring hard at them for that insensitive remark, I’d just reply “No, I am infertile.” I have stopped at least 2 dinner parties with that remark.
But now I don’t say that. Now when I get asked I just say that I got pregnant by fucking. And when their jaws drop (because it’s usually strangers who ask me this) I continue on and say “Yes, fucking. Fucking two times a day. Penis. In. Vagina. No condom. You know, with the squirting.”
After that, they kinda walk away.
If I had been drinking while reading this, it would have come straight out my nose. Thanks for that.
I’m 41 and have 5 year old twins which I did not get the old fashioned way but it hasn’t stopped people from asking me…and I mean perfect strangers asking me… “did you take fertility drugs?”
I did… but it’s kind of besides the point. I’ve often wanted to reply with “and how did you conceive your children? What? what do you mean you and your husband were in the same room. Where was the lab tech? Where was the embryologist? How archaic and quaint.”
Two sides to every coin, right?