Josie is one of those babies who, for whatever reason, in the midst of a dead sleep will suddenly throw her arms up in the air and wave them like she just don’t care. Initially, we were told this was a normal and expected reflex. But in the past few weeks, she’s expanded her arm throwing activities to the waking hours. Specifically, when she’s tired or irritable, she has a tendency to jab at her face with her fingers. Even when she’s not upset and she just wants stick her fingers in mouth – which is constantly, at this point – she winds up bapping herself in the face, because she cannot, as such, dependably find her mouth yet.
None of this should be cause for alarm. I myself often have trouble finding my mouth. Besides, Josie tends to get her eyelids down before she can poke herself in the eye. And she can’t really punch very hard at this point. So no big deal, right?
Wrong.
The problem is that Josie’s got fingernails. Really long fingernails. Her fingernails are so long that she frequently looks like a tiny little coke dealer. And this has resulted in numerous little slashes on her cheeks, and one on her nose, which we’ve reacted to with the horror you would expect of neurotic, first-time parents. Those of you who are not parents – and honestly, I’m not sure what the hell you’re reading this blog for if that’s the case – are thinking there’s an easy solution here: clip the kids nails.
This is where you’d very very wrong.
Clipping a baby’s fingernails is among the most horrifying hygiene measures you will ever undertake. Because (just to labor the obvious) baby fingernails are really small. Baby fingers themselves are really soft and pink and vulnerable. So soft and pink and vulnerable that it is quite easy to imagine that you might, without at all meaning to, snip them off with a nail clipper. My point: the margin of error is excruciatingly small. Also, baby fingernails are super-soft, such that if you don’t get the jaws of the clippers down far enough, the fingernail just sort of slips out and you’ve accomplished nothing.
I would be embarrassed to admit how many hours we’ve devoted, thus far, to cutting Josie’s nails. And even more embarrassed to admit how many hours we’ve devoted to worrying about the cutting of Josie’s nails. It’s become, like, this daily occasion of dread.
As with many aspects of baby raising, I tend to take a tougher [read: stupider] approach on this than Erin, but last week’s clipping session put an end to that. Yes, I managed to cut too far down on her index finger and the result was that Josie let out a yelp and Erin let out a yelp and a tiny rind of actual blood appeared on the rim of her fingernail, which made me feel like I should probably cut off one of my own fingers, just to even things up.
A brief excerpt of the ensuing discourse:
Josie: WAHWAHWAH
Me: Oooops!
Erin: She’s bleeding!
Josie: WAHWAHWAHWAH
Me: She’s not bleeding.
Erin: What the hell is that?
Me: Huh.
Josie: WAHWAHWAH
There is no need to elaborate.
The end result was that I was banished from the room. Erin is now pretty much exclusively in charge of cutting Josie’s nails. Honestly, much of the time she doesn’t even risk using the clippers. She uses an emery board and tries to file the suckers down. This takes a long time. Of course, I’m in no position to argue with her about this, because, until further notice, I’m the one who NEARLY CUT OUR DAUGHTER’S FINGER OFF.
Our pediatrician told us there’s no easy solution to this dilemma. When we asked her if she would give us a demonstration, she demurred. In fact, much to my relief, she informed us that it’s pretty much inevitable that you’re going to clip your kid at some point, news that Erin did greet as exculpatory.
So my question is: what do you guys do about this? Is there some miraculous accessory we should know about? Or some tricks of the trade? Or, in the absence of these, do you guys know of any low-cost attorneys who might be compelled to represent me in an anticipated personal injury suit?
Thank you for listening.
Forego the clippers. Out damn clippers out! Get a small pair of cuticle scissors instead. When my daugher was Josie’s age I would put her in the bouncey seat, pop on the Noggin and then go to town. Other times I could cut them when she slept., esp. in the bouncey seat. Sure, I cut her a few times, but what can you do? I think you probably feel worse than she does. Bottom line: small, non-sharp cuticle scissors. You will be amazed at how easy it becomes. I kid you not. Good luck, daddy.
Toss the cutters: use your teeth!
Baby nails are soft and easy to bite off (my mom taught me this). This is an easy, quick way to trim them. The best times are during nursing — one hand is always facing you — and after baths when nails are even more soft and clean.
Toenails are a different story. We still struggle with those…
I used to break into a full-body sweat, I was so nervous about cutting my baby’s fingernails. It was embarrassing, and annoying, because when you are trying to not lop off your child’s fingertips, it is not a good idea to have sweat-slicked hands holding the clipper. I learned to trim them when she is blissed out on the boob. Another reason to keep nursing, I guess!
In the absence of our nanny-granny, we bite them. But, for the most part this a task that we outsource to grandma. One tiny scratch in g-ma’s presence is generally enough to prompt some action. Lazy you may say… maybe, but it works. And, the guilt of those little nips rest with grandma.
I won’t go near those. If my wife didn’t do trim them, my daughter’s nails would look like Wolverine’s
I’ve found that a sleeping baby is the best prey for a nervous, “rookie”, parent. Now that mt Munchkin is a little older, I can usually get her on the changing table or by popping in a dvd. Of course, it takes us several days to get them all cut, toes included. It seems like an endless process. Hubby is not allowed to participate!
I’ve found that a sleeping baby is the best prey for a nervous, “rookie”, parent. Now that mt Munchkin is a little older, I can usually get her on the changing table or by popping in a dvd. Of course, it takes us several days to get them all cut, toes included. It seems like an endless process. Hubby is not allowed to participate!
I cut my daughter’s finger during my first attempt with the clippers– she was like three days old. I cried, of course. Now we file them with a regular nail file. Sometimes my husband bites them. The clippers only come out for the big toe, and even then, it’s hard not to cut too close.
Only my wife dares to trim the Lads’ home-grown Ginsu knives. I am often drafted into holding flailing limbs in place during the jolly exercise.
Invest in a set of the infant nail clippers that include a magnifying lens. I think SafetyFirst is the brand.
Then gently push back the pad of her finger and trim. The more you do it, the easier it gets. My hell-on-wheels two year-old will calmly sit and hol out his hands for a mani now, since it’s routine.
Just bite them. My daughter is 18 months old and has just recently has started to let me cut her nail without screaming bloody murder.
Just bite them. As you’ve stated, they are soft enough. I’ve bitten off more nails then I can chew in my day, after five kids you get to be a pretty fast nail biter. Kind of keeps you from biting your own, ptooey, anyway…don’t paint her nails either, they’re too porous. I did that with my only daughter, almost straight out of the womb I was so excited to have a little girl! The attending nurse, albeit thought it was darling, then chewed me out for doing it and that was the reason she gave me. So I guess nail polish remover is out of the question. You betcha! Good luck.
Try a nail file; taking clippers to my own squirming flailing little one made me shudder.
Sounds ridiculous but I was freaking out about cutting my child’s nails before he was even born – before I even knew he was a *he*.
My friend recommended these blunt scissors that will not allow you to cut the skin but can easily cut their nails. They are ridiculously expensive but I use them all the time and will use them on the next kid. (And my husband likes to use them to trim his nose hairs – so much so – that he got one in his stocking for Christmas this year).
http://www.whatshebuys.com/rub-1f0-01-ee.html
Enjoy!
Look if anything if you have trouble sleeping you should try some natural remedies such as the tea and other stuff but also try home made carrot juice. WBR LeoP