I was going to write about the girls’ (too big, too loud, but quite fun) birthday party, but before I do that, I just have to vent. If you’re readers of Baby Daddy you know that both Steve Almond and I live in the Boston area. We thought that, in the spirit of blog-raderie, it might be fun to get our kiddos together for a play date of sorts. Yeah. Well. BIG Mistake. Josie seems so sweet and sociable on her dad’s blog, but in reality, I’m sorry to report, she’s a total prima donna. Get that girl a onesie that says “Princess” on it, stat.
Here, for example, is Josie is holding court in one of Elsa and Clio’s bouncy seats. Note how my girls are sweetly fawning all over her (the mean girls always do hold a certain sway over the nice ones, don’t they?) while all she cares about is trying to get into a more flattering pose for the camera.
Of course, you really can’t blame the child in these situations. It’s all about the parents. Or, one parent in particular, in this case. Within five minutes of their arrival, Steve started in with his stage-dad one-upmanship: “Hey, Josie, can you tell Elsa and Clio how many unique hits your blog gets per week? Remember how to say ga-jillion?” and “Josie, why don’t you ask Elsa and Clio if they’ve ever been recognized in public by their readers?” and “Josie, remember how we talked about being extra nice to Clio and Elsa because their mommy hasn’t published a book yet — not even one, let alone a ba-jillion, like your daddy –and how that’s very, very sad and pathetic?”
What was even worse was the running list Steve kept of “bloggable moments” during the visit. Every time Josie did something cute or funny or impressive (in Steve’s eyes), out would come the list. (I had to lend him a pen, which he stole, incidentally.) He advised me, in his condescending way, that I really should start doing the same. ”Not that I read your blog much,” he said, “Because I’m too busy answering Josie’s fan mail in the funny little voice I’ve created for her, but I’ve noticed that your material is a little repetetive. I mean, you’ve posted three videos of your girls doing their so-called ‘dancing.’ It’s cute once, maybe cute twice, but three times? Come on.”
He then turned on our animatronic, singing snowmen and told Josie to show us the routine he’d choreographed for her. And yes, I admit, it is impressive when a 15-month-old can do two grand jetes and a pas de bourree couru followed by the “running man” without missing a beat. But I don’t think that automatically makes her “high superior queen of the baby blogosphere” as Steve kept calling her, in an annoying cutesy-wootsy voice. And it certainly doesn’t justify this kind of behavior:
Honestly, I feel sorry for Josie. How could she not be expected to turn into a little monster with this kind of parenting? I just hope I won’t repeat Steve’s mistakes with my precious, perfect little angels. (Who, incidentally, you can buy autographed 8×10 glossies of for $20 each. Suitable for framing. Contact me privately.)
I can’t tell if you’re joking or not. I kinda hope you’re not though as I find Baby Daddy insufferable.
this is easily the funniest thing i’ve read on babble in like, forever! and is it too evil to hope at least some of it was true??
nice job!
For the record, I did recognize Elsa and Clio at Art Beat, but couldn’t think of anything cleverer to say than “hi, uh, I read your blog”, so I just smiled and walked on.
I assume this is some sort of thing people call “funny.” If not, it is certainly what people call “pathetic.” So either–nice try at the ha-ha, better luck next time, or, you should be completely ashamed.
Pathetic.
Seriously, are you guys joking? Love Elsa and Clio, never been a fan of Baby Daddy and it kind of makes me want to give that josie a time out if she was ugly to my girls!!
NOT cool. I hated reading both of your entries on this. Your poor kids.
Jane, ignore the comment to be ashamed – this was hilarious!
I hope you two will ignore the silly comments. That picture of all three girls is fantastic. What great faces! Keep up the blog-raderie.
I’m so disappointed that people can’t take a joke. I’m finding that once people become parents, many of them lose their sense of humor. Lighten up, folks!
Jane, you and Steve are hilarious. Thanks for the chuckle.
I’ve only read his blog twice. It was hella boring. Yours however, I check daily.
The man is clearly an idiot. I don’t care how many “tricks” his kid can do. And I certainly don’t care for someone who actually has to WRITE DOWN when his kid does something remotely cute.
Keep blogging. I love it! Him? Not so much.
Anyone suspect that Jane’s post was joking, but Steve didn’t get the joke?
Yeah…just…really disappointed.
OMG, I can’t believe people don’t get that this is a joke. Just bloggers havin’ fun. Lighten up, people!
Hah! I’m a Babydaddyaholic & just love these posts. Well done!
Also, I saw a note that you were at Art Beat? In Somerville? I was there the first night, and my friend’s band The Young Republic played. The weather was beautiful and the crowd of people was so friendly and excited … it was one of the best days of the summer, watching everybody all together. Boston’s such a wonderful city…
Wow, people believe a child who just learned how to walk can “do two grand jetes and a pas de bourree couru followed by the “running man” without missing a beat.” And that Jane shows Power Point presentations on Trends in Early Socialization of Twins to all of her guests and dresses her twins as Britney and Lindsay? If you don’t think these posts are funny, that’s cool (I think they are hilarious), but if you read them literally,then you have seriously missed the obvious tone of these blogs and these bloggers. How is that possible?
So, so smart, you two. It got me to head over to Baby Daddy’s blog, which I think was the intent? And hopefully to get his readers to check out your blog? Brilliant, people. I think you’re both hysterical! And seriously, who doesn’t need a good chuckle now and again?
I’m just jealous that there aren’t any other Denver-area Babble bloggers that I can hang out with/start (very funny) blog wars with.
I agree with NobodysMama…ummmm…people – it’s called tongue in cheek – get a sense of humor!
Got twingles (Twins and a single), single kids are just practice for real parenting!
Witty. I love it. Im not sure why all the posters on here are seemingly anti-baby daddy. Frankly – I love you both!
Anyway, love the blog, love the updated post and thank you for the humor. All three girls are beautiful and lucky for theparents they;ve got.
*lmao*
What a great article! The biting sarcasm/humor is right up my alley and had me rolling.
I hope y’all have more play~dates.
*grin*
Feels like a big inside joke to me. The kind of blog that makes bloggers look as self serving as they are trying not to look. Unimpressed.
Jane~
Funny piece! Your sharp humor was obviously filled with lots of affection — toward your bloger frenemy and the kids. Enjoyed the wicked chuckle!-K.