I can just make out their pastel gowns, heart-shaped faces and impossibly large eyes in the distance. I hear their wistful sighs, charming laughter and bell-like singing voices (Ariel, I’m talking to you) drawing closer. They have Curious George, Elmo and Thomas the Tank Engine in their sights, and they are ready to take those mofos down. “Step aside, boys,” they trill. “The princesses are coming to town!”
And I’m not talking about traditional fairy tale princesses. I’m talking about those princesses. You know the ones I’m talking about: Cinderella, Snow White, Aurora, Belle, Ariel, Mulan, Jasmine and Pocahantas, and the new one in the Frog movie, brought to you by Walt Disney, Inc. And now, they seem to have their own subsidiary franchise. The 3-10 year old girl merchandising appeal of nine trademarked characters, bundled into one, irresistible package! I applaud the marketing people who came up with that. The bastards.
Do I sound cynical? Hard-hearted? Unrealistic?
Again, it’s not that I’m anti-princess with a lower-case p (as the commenters who misinterpreted this post from way-back when thought). I will read the girls fairy tales until the cows come home. Sure, I guess the main characters aren’t exactly exemplary role models for 21st century girls. But I think they will have enough of those in their life (ahem, me, for example) that I’m not too worried. And honestly, aspiring to be anachronistic, dignified wives of powerful monarchs is far preferable than aspiring to be, say, trampy reality TV stars.
And it’s not that I didn’t think it was cute when, the other night, Elsa
looked down at Snow White on the front of her pullups
(we had to get a different brand in a pinch….I didn’t even know they
had The Princesses on them), asked who that girl in the picture
was, and said, when I told her, “I love Snow White!” It’s not that I don’t think it’s cute that Clio only wants to wear the pullups with Cinderella on them, for no particular reason I can ascertain. And I don’t really care that the girls brought home pages torn out of princess coloring books from the daycare at the gym, where they went with Alastair the other day. I don’t care that they’ve been given a couple of Princess(TM) items over the past couple of years.
So, what is my freakin’ problem with the Disney princesses? I guess they just seem so vapid and mass-produced. I know they supposedly have different “personalities” in their movies, but those personalities could be likened to different shades of the same color (I choose pink) as opposed to distinct hues. Even their “feistiness” is such fake, sanctioned naughtiness. I realize this is irrelevant to little girls, who pretty much just like the dresses. I’m just saying.
I guess it’s the merchandising aspect that really gets to me — the fact that these damned Princesses are so ubiquitous and that they exist basically to sell products. And while, yes, the girls do have some TV character toys as mentioned — Curious George and Elmo dolls, Thomas trains — the PBS connection somehow makes them feel less icky. That may be totally illogical and ridiculous, but there you go. I guess there is some paranoid part of me that still suspects that the Walt Disney Corporation has a secret evil agenda to turn all American children into brainwashed consumer automatons. And then harvest their organs to sell to third world countries in exchange for petroleum.
Also, if the girls — like so many others — get really into the whole princess thing, they may ask if we can go to Disney World. And I really, really hate theme parks.
But will I ban The Princesses(TM) from our home? Will I not let them watch their movies, or dress up like them for Halloween, or buy the occasional Princess(TM) product? Will I give my girls lectures on the aesthetic tragedy of corporate co-option of folk mythology? No, no, no. I’m willing to make certain sacrifices for my children. And I do have a soft-spot for Belle. What with her being bookish and all. And telling that ass-hat Gaston to f*$#& off.
But if Princessmania(TM?) does takes hold, I will also make sure that the girls supplement their Disney diet with lots of non-commercial books, toys, movies, etc. Because there’s a lot of wonderful, magical, little-girl friendly stuff out there other than what is shilled by the Magic Kingdom.
The End.
I, too, was against Disney princesses for my daughter once upon a time. But trying to hold out against that force is like a grasshopper trying to stop a steamroller by standing in front of it. Especially if your kids are in preschool, you’ve got no shot.
My daughter spent more than a year thinking that Cinderella was more magnificent than Santa Claus, Elmo, Dora and the tooth fairy all rolled into one. She even went through a phase where she declared that Cinderella was her birthmother! (We adopted her from Korea as a baby.) I had been prepped for birthmother fantasies, but no one told me that Disney would figure into them.
And along the lines of what you said, there are worse things than Disney-princess worship. At least my daughter doesn’t want to be one of the Olson twins!
My problem with the princesses is that they are almost always being saved by a prince. So when my 4 and 5 year old daughters are playing ANYTHING they seem to think that the boy has to save them…drives me NUTS!!!!
Amen sister.
I grew up in a house full of disney VHS. I loved Ariel. But in the 80′s The Princess were not yet a TM and the disney merchandise was limited so the movies were just that to little girl me; movies. Fun to watch, fun to pretend about later and that was about it.
I hate the vapidity and uselessness of the princess culture we have going for little girls. I hate the ‘I need to find my perfect man’ ideal. Give me some fairies any day, at least they DO stuff.
That said, I just bought our first horrible princess item; underwear. Because finding size 2 panties for little girls is impossible in my town and it was all they had.
Fortunately my daughter looked from the princess panties to the funky & bright panties with stars, hollared STARS! and threw the princess panties onto the floor.
For now princesses lose. As for 6 months – 1 year from now? who knows.
My oldest daughter is 5 and the Disney princesses have landed in our house in the last year or so. I tried to hold it off as long as I could, but she found them and latched on and now everything is princess. K was an offbeat girl and I loved it – she dressed up for Halloween as a cat, then Woody and Buzz, then a dog – this year it was Snow White (last minute change from Cinderella, but K has brown hair and so does Snow White and I have to be Snow White and …).
In daycare, when she was 2.5 and potty training, she wore pullups. Only Cars or Toy Story were acceptable – there would be no Princess or Dora pull ups allowed! Even her underwear was “boy” underwear because the girl underwear didn’t come in the characters she liked. That ended when someone in daycare advised her they were boy’s. Oh, the tears! Now, it’s a different story – last night I was washing her blanket and it wasn’t dry so I took out her Spiderman blanket that she used to use and loved more than anything. She told me that she refused to sleep with it because she is a girl and it is too “boy”. Where do they get this stuff, why is it in the air we breathe? I worked so hard to not label boy/girl and they do it themselves anyway. Part of development but SO frustrating. With the twins, I’ll do the same as I did before, but with an older sister leading the way, I have a feeling it’s going to be Princesses at an early age.
Hey Jane:
As the mother of two boys (not even twins!) I am fortunate to be able to give the Princesses(TM) a miss. And as a girly-girl myself, I know I had a bit of an obsession when I was little. But as the Disney store didn’t even exist until I was in college, all I could do was wait for Disney to re-release my fave films in the theater and wear cobbled-together dress-up outfits. And read the really spectacular Grimm’s Fairy Tales, which have occasionally drastically different endings than the Disneyfied ones… worth a re-read!
Don’t get me started, however, on Bat/Super/Spider-Man and Transformers saturation… at least the Princesses(TM) aren’t trying to annihilate each other.
I guess it’s just a normal part of development (assisted by the marketing geniuses at Disney). Michael is quickly enraptured by every cartoon character he sees.
I have to admit, I do find the princess stuff a little more problematic, because it’s all so pink and nauseating. The gender issues are troubling. But I guess the more you fight it, the more they’ll want it.
http://current.com/items/89416957_sarah-haskins-in-target-women-disney-princesses.htm
And take comfort in the fact that they aren’t being targeted with the “war is fun!” messages of G.I. Joe.
Ugh, the princesses. I’m on your side, but it’s a losing battle.
I particularly can’t stand Ariel who was willing to trade her VOICE for a guy. Bleah.
I had the same struggle a couple of Christmases ago when someone gave my girls Barbies. I went back and forth between feeling like I should be allowed to give them away before my kids even saw them and that it wasn’t any of my business. But the Barbies ended up like Barbies everywhere, naked and with hair problems.
I just try to remember that I’m falling prey to mass marketing machines myself (as I type on my MacBook and plan my next outing to Target) and shouldn’t judge the things my daughters like too harshly.
I feel bad, as the mother of 3 and 3/4 old twin girls I really should have warned you…sorry about that. Umm, have to warn you about the Barbie movies…but what you will soon be hearing is “You be the Pwince”, “No YOU be the pwince”. In this respect the Disney Store can come to your rescue..with Pwince Charming and Pwince Ewic dolls. (I draw the line at the Beast- nightmare issues). These guys are kept very busy in my house. We went through a stage of introducing all potentially scary new male acquaintances as Pwince whatever…worked like an absolute charm. Swimming lessons went swimmingly with Pwince Evan teaching them. This past Halloween they were Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty and Daddy was the Pwince (I ‘ll gift your Alistair the pants for next year if required!). Of course Cinderella had a tantrum and shed her much BELOVED dress after 2 minutes because her gloves said something bad to her tiara (who knows- she’s still a mystery). Yes- the assumption that someone (doesn’t matter which sex in the scheme of things) will solve all their problems is an issue, but it is probably more disturbing that everyone accepts the reality of parents dying and guardians trying to murder their step-children. I think we all need a little hope to soften lifes cruel blows. I have Grimms on my bedside to read now that the Twilight saga is crossed off (purely research-I have a 10 year old daughter too).. the vampire is the new prince…and I’d rather be a Disney Bella than Bella Swan.
Oh and as for Disneyland/World… part of me is so disturbed by this incredible fantasy, mostly by the fact that many Americans go there instead of overseas , and go there EVERY flipping vacation… and that it requires a huge input of resources to maintain… but apart from that , it was FUN. But now I’d like to go to Paris …DisneyParis perhaps?
I feel bad, as the mother of 3 and 3/4 old twin girls I really should have warned you…sorry about that. Umm, have to warn you about the Barbie movies…but what you will soon be hearing is “You be the Pwince”, “No YOU be the pwince”. In this respect the Disney Store can come to your rescue..with Pwince Charming and Pwince Ewic dolls. (I draw the line at the Beast- nightmare issues). These guys are kept very busy in my house. We went through a stage of introducing all potentially scary new male acquaintances as Pwince whatever…worked like an absolute charm. Swimming lessons went swimmingly with Pwince Evan teaching them. This past Halloween they were Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty and Daddy was the Pwince (I ‘ll gift your Alistair the pants for next year if required!). Of course Cinderella had a tantrum and shed her much BELOVED dress after 2 minutes because her gloves said something bad to her tiara (who knows- she’s still a mystery). Yes- the assumption that someone (doesn’t matter which sex in the scheme of things) will solve all their problems is an issue, but it is probably more disturbing that everyone accepts the reality of parents dying and guardians trying to murder their step-children. I think we all need a little hope to soften lifes cruel blows. Is wanting to be a wizard orphan with dementors trying to kill you any better? I have Grimms on my bedside to read now that the Twilight saga is crossed off (purely research-I have a 10 year old daughter too).. the vampire is the new wizard, is the new prince.. ( I’d rather be a Disney Bella than Bella Swan.)
Oh and as for Disneyland/World… part of me is so disturbed by this incredible fantasy, mostly by the fact that many Americans choose go there instead of overseas , and go there EVERY flipping vacation… and that it requires a huge input of resources to maintain a fantasy for adults… but apart from that , it was FUN. But now I’d like to go to Paris …DisneyParis perhaps?
Are human beings weird or what?
Oh, the princesses. I’m with you. Before age 3, Evie was content to dress up as Eeyore, Bob the Builder, and Dorothy for Halloween and Purim. She played with blocks and trucks. She colored and did art projects. Then at age 3, Evie was SO into the princesses. I tried to fight it at first, but gave up. It was too prevalent in the preschool. For two years (ages 3-5), Evie’s playtime life revolved around Disney princesses, dress-up, pink this, purple that, frills, lace, sparkles, wands, tiaras, etc. She had a Cinderella b-day party (age 3) and then a Disney Princess b-day party (age 4). When we went to the grocery store, she wanted princess toothpaste, princess fruit snacks, princess crackers. When we went to the mall, she wanted everything in the Disney store. If we bought new hair accessories, she wanted hair ties and clips with the darn princesses’ faces on them. I can’t tell you how many times I had to be the evil stepmother, the evil queen, the prince, etc. – at least Elsa and Clio have each other to play with!
But you know what? At 5.5 Evie actually seems to have outgrown it already! She’s much more interested in “real” fairy tales and chapter books. Her pretend play now centers around playing school, house, dance class, etc. She announced to me that her favorite color is now blue. She wears pants again (did I forget to mention that she insisted on wearing only dresses and skirts for 1.5 years?)
Sadly, I am anticipating the imminent arrival of Hannah Montana and the High School Musical crew. Oy vey. I think I might just miss the princesses.
Out of morbid curiosity I checked out the Disney site.
There is actually a category for “Parenting a Princess” Yuck!
Since I have no children but do have a niece we did live on the edge of princess mania for a short time.
Then she discovered BARBIE who’s real name should be SATAN.
Oh how I loathe Barbie and everything she stands for, vapid blonde with a totally unrealistic body shape and the pinkness of it all. Excuse me while I go wretch.
I can’t side with you on this one…..(looks up at her giant Snow White poster on her bedroom wall)…….
I am a Disney Princess and proud of it. I am sad that I won’t ever have a little girl to dress up and play Princess with. I gave all my costumes away to my friend’s little girl.
You can send them over to play Princess with me anytime. My best childhood memories are running around the neighborhood in an old prom dress pretending to be Sarah from Labyrinth.
Fighting the Princess stuff is useless. There is nothing wrong with them. Your girls identify with the princesses because they are girls too. My boys are into Stitch, Lightning McQueen, Tramp, and Thomas. My boys squeal whenever they see anything from “Cars”. Girls squeal when they see anything from Disney Princess movies. Just a fact of life.
I will always remember and take it as long of the best compliments anyone ever gave me the day a little girl in the daycare I worked at ran her hands through my long blonde hair and said “Princess hair”.
Your post reminded my of a two year old I had at school once who was knee deep in Princessmania. She constantly wanted me to tell her the story of Cinderella. When I tried and realized I didn’t remember it just right (aka, like the Disney movie), she was glad to fill in all the little details.
I hated to see all of her playground time wasted with regurgitating the Disney script. Finally, I told her that we could play a fun story game. She can start the story and then we can take turns. So she started, “Once upon a time there was a princess named Cinderella who had a mean stepmother and mean stepsisters. Your turn…” I would add something totally off script such as, “Cinderella was not happy with her stepmother and stepsisters, so she decided to come play at our school with Princess (insert her name here). Your turn.” At first she wasn’t pleased and would promptly steer the story back on script, but eventually she took more control over the story and Princess (her) began taking the leading role, leaving Cinderella (and, of course, Prince Charming) as a supporting character.
I like to think that I gave her the option to love the Disney Princesses, but also showed her other possibilities for women in the world…
…I guess giving your children the ability to imagine as many possibilities as you can is one way to ride out the overly scripted phase of Princessmania.
It’s hard to resist the pull and allure of Disney. We don’t in my house, but we don’t have a princess yet… But, I don’t think that it’s something we can avoid. Disney rings with a very core archetype, princes and princesses alike. It’s as if the narrative finds a basic core within us all… There may be a better way to tell the story, but Disney sure has found a formula that works!
And, while I totally agree with the whole PBS thing, I always pause and check myself whenever Sesame Street comes on, and McDonald’s is a primary sponsor…
I feel your pain. It is hard to raise feminist daughter(s) under the influence of the evil empire. When my daughter discovered the “princesses” bs from the evil empire I was mortified. They have ruined all the good fairy tales to sell crap.
A good friend of mine gave me some great advice–just ride the princess tide and don’t make a big deal out of it. Let her have just enough not to covet it but don’t go overboard. Her daughter is now in the Anne Richards leadership academy down in TX, so I would say it worked for her. And my daughter, after about a year, has moved firmly into imaginative play and fairies. I got to recycle a bunch of princess stuff this weekend and it felt great!
Little Man is interested in the Disney Princesses, too (and no, I will never say “princesses are for girls”). We’re not really a Disney family although he has seen The Little Mermaid and Cars.
I guess my issue with the Princesses is the focus on the princess finding a man. I want the characters my kids’ mimic (boys or girls) to be fighting for good. Or at least just driving a racecar fast – that seems less harmful. Disney has done a better job of a strong female character in Cars (Sally, the former lawyer Porche) than in the movies they market to girls (although most of the Princess movies are really old, so maybe that has something to do with it).
Take heart my friend (incase my name does not come up on your end this is E. McD) Disney Princesses obsession eases off quite a bit around 4.5 -5 years old. And little A has not yet fallen into it!
I’ve enjoyed reading this post and response, as the mother of twin girls who are showing no awareness of the Ps right now but are obsessed with wearing dresses so I fear it’s not far behind.
I also wanted to comment, I’ve seen the new movie “Princess and the Frog” and Tiana is much more strong and self-sufficient than the previous generation of princesses. Her goal is to open her own restaurant, not find a man. Of course she finds a man anyway, but that’s not her only focus. So at least there are some princesses we can relate to!
Somehow, my three year old daughter found out about princesses but doesn’t have an awareness of Disney Princesses… yet. I’m sure it will happen but, in the meantime, I’ve compromised a little in giving her a medieval princess costume for Christmas.
My strategy at the moment is to read princess stories with strong female characters which subvert the ridiculous ‘girl must be rescued by boy’ messages. These books also happen to be told with great humour, which is often lacking in the far-too-earnest Disney princess tales. I don’t expect them to replace all the stupid stereotypes perpetuated by Disney, but I hope they will help to provide a balance.
Here are a few options from the wonderful world of children’s literature, if this idea appeals to you:
The Princess and The Packet of Frozen Peas – Tony Wilson
Princess Smartypants – Babette Cole
The Paperbag Princess – Robert Munsch
The Princess and the Wizard – Julia Donaldson
Princess Pigsty – Cornelia Funke
Obviously, when my daughter is older we’ll discuss monarchy and how its existence undermines the principles of equal opportunity and democracy but I feel that conversation can wait until she’s four. (LOL!)
just a quicky – i have a problem (in the same way i do with barbie) with the teeny size of the Princesses’ waists…
wow – April up there – you’re freaking me out a little bit. “I am a Disney Princess and proud of it.”
Ew.
And for the record, Labyrinth quite decidedly so anti-Disney it’s absurd for you to even include it in this discussion.
This Disney princess shit is gross, lame, tacky, mass-produced crapola that I wish would go away.
Aw, Sarah, play nice. To each her own, right?
OK so I don’t have a girl, but I’m absolutely on your team, Jane…
AAAAH! Everything my daughter uses, wears, or plays with has to have Disney Princesses on it. My Mother in law went to the Disney store and just bought everything. I was greatfull for such a huge gift (8 shirts, a dress, 6 pairs of shoes, night lite, towel, beach bag, robe, hair clips, sippy cups, figurines and even Princess dominoes!!!!!) But it drives me up the wall.It all started with one shirt. She had never seen the movies yet their sneaky mass marketing strategy some how got to my daughter head. Is this healthy! I am in a Princess NIGHTMARE!