Celine’s Hair Will Go On
So that streaky auburn rinse that Celine Dion – shown here frolicking on the beach with her son and husband – was sporting on the cover of Hello! earlier this month seems to have been replaced by dark chesnut. The better to match her son, I suppose.
The thing is, I’m not 100% certain that the woman in this picture is Celine Dion. Celine’s, like, 40. The woman in this picture is wearing a string bikini and looks to be about 18 years old. But my sources tell me that this is, in fact, Celine, and, plus, there’s the big old guy that she’s married to. And I suppose that if you bathed, every night, in your Vegas palace, in pools of sweat drawn from the bodies of your young male background dancers, you’d look eighteen, too.
Lord love you for the sweat bit! Funky dancers indeed. I think it’s clear Celine has made a pact with the devil. I don’t think there’s any other way to account for her popularity or her reverse aging. Perhaps her big old guy is actually Lucifer in corporeal form.