Apparently, Tom Cruise has added ‘mentor’ to ‘actor’, ‘celebrity dad’ and ‘crazy person’ on his resume: he has, apparently, been dispensing career advice and life wisdom to certain young stars on the Disney roster. Which, you know, is cause for alarm, isn’t it? I mean, isn’t THETAN CLEARING pretty high on his list of how to survive our alien-spirit-infested world? So wouldn’t his mentoring advice look kinda like a primer on Dianetics?
Vanessa Hudgens doesn’t seem too worried. “He was so sweet and such a nice guy” she said about meeting Tom
Crazy Cruise. “He, like, totally warned me about Xenu and about how Zac (Efron) is like totally infested with body thetans and that’s why High School Musical 3: The Simpering is maybe not going to do so well at the box office, but that maybe if I had this little operation on my brain…”
I totally made that last part up. Because, like Tom, I am totally committed to science fiction that masquerades fact. However, unlike Tom, I believe that impressionable young Disney stars shouldn’t be exposed to the darker truths of the universe. Unless they remake Escape From Witch Mountain, in which case that better be done as documentary, or I’m going to be sorely disappointed.