Mother-daughter bonding at the mall

 I generally  like clothes a lot, and given the right environment and enough $$$, I even like to shop for clothes. However, I do not like to shop at “The Mall,” which in our small city is a very typical, enclosed suburban shopping mall, containing all the to-be-expected chain stores, only a few of which I actually like (Buckle is my favorite mallstore).  But yesterday, J and I had to venture out to the mall together to find a dress and shoes for her 8th grade graduation ceremony, which takes place later this week. I had encouraged her for weeks to try to find something she liked online, hoping to avoid the dreaded last minute foray to West Town Mall, but alas, she was unsuccessful. So off we went to the mall.

I am pretty sure that J sees her mother’s hatred of all-things-mall as a straight-up parenting failure. She frequently regales me with stories of how “all” of  her friends and their mothers regularly enjoy bonding experiences together in the food court, and she tells me that I am “the only mom” who declines to make time for perusing the mall with her adolescent daughter.  This may or may not be true, but unfortunately for her, she’s stuck with me. So this trip together yesterday was the first time we’ve gone to the mall as a mother-daughter pair in a really long time. And I have to say that despite my reticence, we had a blast. (I did manage to embarrass her at one point by lingering too long over some racy undergarments at Victoria’s Secret. She hurried me along, informing me in a dramatic whisper that she really didn’t want to imagine “my mother in a thong.” Well, alrighty then!)

But what made the trip so much fun was J’s enthusiasm. Because while I like clothing and shopping to a certain degree, J is a regular fashionista. She loves fashion and design, and she also gets genuine pleasure out of finding a good bargain. To her, the shopping experience itself is as much fun as successfully heading home with what you were seeking. And anytime you get to do something with someone who genuinely loves that activity, some of the fun is bound to wear off on you. That’s what happened yesterday. I enjoyed the mall despite myself.

Since it had been a while since I had been to the mall, I was surprised to see that the mix of stores had changed significantly. When did we get a J. Crew store? And how is it that Coach is now opening boutiques in suburban malls better known for their thriving J.C. Penney outlets? Is Coach going a bit downmarket? Or is Sears the new Vuitton? The marketing mix was a bit confusing to me. In any event, J found a dress she (and I) love at J. Crew, and some deeply discounted Coach sandals to go with.  It’s cotton eyelet, with a scalloped hem. Very sweet and pretty and just grown-up enough for an about-to-be high school freshman. Her sandals are nice, simple flats, and she will probably wear a light cotton sweater with it. Very cute.

We actually had such a good time at the mall, that i am thinking I might be up for trying it again with her sometime soon. This is probably a good thing because this fall, for the first time in many years, she will be attending a school where she doesn’t have to wear a uniform consisting of plaid kilt and Topsiders. At her new, public high school, she will get to wear whatever she wants, within the bounds of the fairly loose dress code. I have a feeling this will require some mother-daughter shopping excursions in order to get her suitably outfitted. And if the trend I noticed continues, maybe by that time there will be Chanel and Hermes stores at the mall, located right next to Hot Topic and Gymoboree…