Weaning
Ouch. Double ouch. Over the last few weeks, we gradually replaced nursing or pumping sessions with formula. After nine months of 99% mama’s milk, the challenges of pumping for an hour a day while still getting work done, combined with other factors, made me decide to move Axel from the boob to the bottle and sippy cup. On Monday morning, Axel nursed for the last time. It’s been 48 hours without milke expression and damn does my chest hurt.
I admire – and envy – those mothers who are able to stick with it. Just 36% of mothers make it to six months. I was lucky enough to have the support of family, a great lacation consultant, a private place to use the dreaded pump at work, and a body/baby that could make it work, with some guidance and training. If I were at home with Axel, I think we’d still be nursing. I’ve got mixed feelings about it all – the working, the mothering, staying at home, boobs and bottles and babies. Formula is seriously expensive. Thought I hated nursing in public, and could never get comfortable with the possibility of showing that much skin to strangers even if it was for the nourishment of my child, it (after lots of work in the first four months) was easy to roll out of bed, wander sleepily down to Axel’s room, scoop him up and bring him back to bed with me for an early morning nursing/cat napping session. But it’s also easy to hand Axel a sippy cup to drink from/bang on the floor while I make dinner. He doesn’t seem to miss nursing.
As I said, it hurts. Seriously. I don’t remember the inital postpartum engorgement aching this much – probably because my whole body felt like I’d been walloped with a bag of bricks and so one more ache wasn’t noticeable. The whole neck to waist area feels fragile; I don’t want my husband to touch my arm, let alone hug me, because he might bump into my chest. Awhile back, I went mountain biking with my father – and, while I am moderately outdoorsy and athletic, I am no good on two wheels and have been told I pedal like a first grader. Biking on a steep dirt trail was not a wise choice. On the way down a hill, my tire caught on a branch and I dove over the handlebars and landed in a rock pile. The left side of my body bruised and oozed and bloodied, and was swollen and tender for weeks. I crept gingerly around, trying to keep my pants from touching my leg. This is a similar sort of pain – less than labor, less than when I broke my arm in two places, less than a rotator cuff tear, but enough to make me generally prickly.
I made the mistake of strapping Axel on with the Baby Bjorn. Owwwww. Then, during a diaper change, he kicked me right in the boob. Yes, there was some swearing in the nursery. I tried to go on a run, and made it a mile before I had to turn back due to boob cramps – that was a first. Last night, I took a shower; that helped, while I was in the shower, but the aches came back right after I got out. Then I draped a bag of frozen asparagus and carrots across my chest. Mixed vegetables eased the pain, but I can’t walk around with frozen produce duct taped to my chest. Or can I? Maybe I can affix ice packs to my bra and then wind bubble wrap around myself. Add a few martinis and I may have found the solution to all that ails my boobs. If I wear a baggy shirt, maybe no one will notice all the extra padding….
Have you tried cabbage leaves in the bra? I never did, but others swear by them. When they warm up you just swap them out for new ones from the fridge. (Then you make a stir-fry.)
I have been thinking about weaning, but I am very ambivelent for a variety of reasons. I was hoping that my son would lose interest, but I think he is gaining it more and more everyday. He just turned one last week, and has been walking for 3 weeks now. So even with these big changes nothing can break him away from mommy’s milk. I am a SAHM so I really don’t have a reason to not do it. I will be starting school next week so I’m hoping with me away from him a little bit everyday that will help. He does drink from a sippy cup. I’ve given him milk, but he would only take a drink and turn his head. I should probably put some breastmilk in a sippy cup or something. I have been trying to go for at least 4 hours in between feeding. I haven’t been looking forward to having the discomfort in my boobs like you described either!
I was wondering whether you were still nursing or not. I went 9 months too. Did you reduce your feedings first or just go cold turkey? Could you express a little just to give yourself a little relief? I can’t really give advice because when I stopped, Michael was already down to only one half-hearted feeding in the morning, so it wasn’t a hard transition.
Sorry about your fall. I think sometimes when you’re already in pain or injured, your mechanics get thrown off and you’re prone to new injuries. I used to roller skate and one time I busted up my knee three weeks in a row before I stopped trying to skate through the injury.
Seriously LOL on the stir fry comment above.
The good news is, the engorgement doesnt last that long…
Cabbage works! I did it and it was wonderful. Just put it in the fridge and when you want to use it roll a rolling pin over the leaf to release the juices and cut a hole out for your nipple and voila. You’ll be dried up in no time.
I was skeptical, but cabbage leaves seriously work! I was in AGONY until I slipped a couple of leaves in my bra. Ahhh… Weaning is really tough — physically, emotionally. But it gets better.
CABBAGE! I read about that a long time ago and had forgotten until your comments. I’m going to go by the store this afternoon and get some. I think we have a package of chopped cabbage at home, but I don’t think dumping a bunch of cabbage pieces down my shirt will work as well as whole leaves.
Melissa, it was gradual – we cut out one session of nursing (or pumping if I was at work) every 3 – 5 days over the last three weeks.
Hey, kudos to you for nursing for nine months! I am impressed.
heehee, you could use some deli cole slaw?
ooof, I remember that. You will feel better after a couple of weeks (that’s total time, it gradually gets better, at least it did for me).
You should pump at least a little bit to relieve the engorgement, otherwise you will wind up with a nasty case of mastitis. I believe Benadryl is supposed to help things along, too.
A process I’ve begun, too, complicated by Flann’s refusal to take a bottle from us (he’ll take it from the Daycare Ladies, though). How long did it take to get Axel up to speed on the sippy? Flann just kinda chews on it. Any tips?
LauraLaura – the sippy cup took us at least three weeks. Axel waved it around a lot and chewed without drinking and then, when he started drinking, he only drank when we held the cup for him. When he held it, he banged it against the floor or dropped it from his high chair. Then, it seemed to dawn on him that he could actually get milk out of the thing.
We’re still nursing. If I were working, I doubt I would have lasted this long. I DREAD the day when either she self-weans or I decide its time to quit. I’m a SAHM, so I’m not really in any hurry. Am I weird that I like it? It’s our time together and it makes me sad to think about this phase being over.
CaraBee I feel the same way. I’ve been home longer than I expected, and I really hope then when I go back to work we can keep nursing in the AM/PM and on weekends for at least a couple more months. Nola is pretty resisitant to the sippy cup (and won’t take a bottle at all) so…we’ll see.
I was seriously surprised about how much it hurt when I weaned my son, who was a few weeks shy from his first birthday, because by then he had only been nursing once a day for a few minutes. But oh, it was hell for over a week! I didn’t think about the cabbage leaves, but I guessed they wouldn’t have been of much help during work hours. I was leaking a little bit too all the time, something that had not happened in months and months. I had given away all my nursing pads to a friend and didn’t want to buy new ones for “just a few days.” So I can still see myself cutting maxipads into small rounds that I would stuff in my bra… So ridiculous… Glad it’s over. Hang on. And I applaud you for lasting this long, especially with the work pumping.
CaraBee – I think it’s great that nursing is going so well for you and you’re cherishing this time with your daughter. I bet by the time your girl does self-wean, you’ll have new things to do together that will be different, but could be equally good. Of course, if it’s working for you both now, there’s no reason to stop.
Cabbage leaves totally rock.
@Noell – if you’re uncomfortable or just feel that you want to wean – that’s good enough reason not to do it! Don’t feel that, just beause you’re an SAHM, you don’t have the right to make that decision – it’s your body, and you certainly do.
@Oz – you totally can walk around with frozen veggies duct taped to your chest. I (true dis) brought ice packs to work and snuck ‘em in there – under my sweater!
Great job nursing for 9 months!!! It’s not easy for us working mamas, especially pumping at work. Your babe looks like he is super healthy, and our guy was always a peanut until he started on the formula. After that, he really filled out.
My kiddo is 9.5 months (his birthday is Nov. 2- I was totally seeing us in your birthday post!) and the idea of weaning was kinda scaring me, both because he drinks when he’s going to sleep and I didn’t know how to change that routine, and because nursing time is special cuddle time. But in the last few weeks, he’s become less dependent on milk for going to sleep, and more cuddly- even when he doesn’t want or need anything, he’ll snuggle up with mom for a little while. So I’m hoping maybe it won’t be so hard. I’m dreading the first few times I have to say no to a comfort-nursing, though- it’s still what he turns to when he’s upset and too sleepy/frustrated/whatever to deal with it on his own.
Just wanted to chime in re: a combination of cabbage and limited expression to relieve discomfort. When DS dropped his last feeding a month ago, I was also VERY sore. I used a hand pump once or twice just to make myself more comfortable, did some expression by my bare hands in the shower for a couple of days, and combined that with the cabbage. Within a week I was totally fine (though I’d dropped two cup sizes…oh well…)
I’ve been nursing my daughter, who is now almost 13 months, only when we wakes up in the morning and once before bedtime, and that has worked well for me. I was sick of pumping at work, but liked (and still like) the together time we have before and after she goes to daycare and I go to work.
I agree with keeping the early morning nursing, because you enjoy it, and it will relieve the pressure. That’s all I’ve done for the past 6 months, I think, since I had trouble with nursing (Coltrane is 14 months). I regret the thought of losing that time in the morning, even though I added a bottle to it, too, a long time ago.
Noell: I had a hard time getting my son to drink milk from a cup (he would only drink water) so I started putting a little soy milk in a cup and putting it on his tray. I’d pour some for myself and say,”Cheers”, clink the glasses and say,”Take a drink”. I always called it “soy” instead of “soy milk”. I started with a small amount until he asked for more soy. Since then, I have been able to give him cow’s milk when I run out of soy. He will also drink cow’s milk out of a box with a straw. I don’t buy them because of all the packaging, but if we are at someone’s house and they have them, he will. He is still nursing at 23 months, but does drink something other than water from a cup.
Starting with breastmilk in a cup is a good idea since your son is so young. If you decide to do cow’s milk or soy milk just be sure to differentiate it. I called breastmilk “milk” so when I tried to give him something else and call it “milk” he rejected it. Just calling it “soy” or making the distinction and saying,”cow’s milk” or “cow” might help him to try it.
Congratulations on a job well done! Nursing for 9 months is a great accomplishment…especially when pumping is involved. I too hate pumping more than I can express (ha, get it!) but the price of formula kept me going until my little guy hit 12 months. Monday will be my first pump free day at work and I am psyched.
That is a good point about calling it something different. I did put some breastmilk in a cup, but he wouldn’t drink it. Then I put it in a bottle, and he drank a little of it. I really don’t want to get him started on a bottle at this point. So I probably shouldn’t give it to him…right! So maybe if I put the breastmilk in a cup more often…he would take to it better.
Thanks Oz. Daughter’s two weeks older than Axel, and we’ve been struggling lately with biting. I stopped pumping at work two months ago, with her getting forumla in the daytime… and while (with much work) she doesn’t chomp on me and cause me to bleed, she still nips me almost every time.
After much thought and discussion, we’re going to start to give up nursing. I gave her a bottle myself for the first time yesterday (the rule was if I’m around, it’s breast) and it was such a tender moment compared to the stress I’d feel nursing – “don’t bite, don’t bite, please don’t bite”.
We’re expats over here, so we don’t have many other families to benchmark ourselves against. Since you’re my daughter’s “internet twin”, your stories and examples have to be my “neighbourhood comparison”.
Ambitious to be getting on a bicycle! Good for you!
Tylenol…or better yet since you’re not nursing anymore, bring out the big guns!!! Naproxen Sodium…3 pills and a Diet Coke along with the Cabbage Leaves should do the trick! Good luck to you and congrats for making it this long! I made it 6 with my first born, but hope to go a full year with this bundle of joy!