We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Theme
Archer’s 2nd birthday is coming up around the corner and apparently that’s supposed to mean something to me. I’m supposed to be planning and booking and organizing and coming up with creative ways to celebrate. At least that’s what I’m told.
“What are you doing for Archer’s birthday?”
“Um. I dunno.”
“Do you have a theme? A clown? Have you pre-ordered his cake?”
“Um. No.”
For the record (and for those of you just joining Straight From the Bottle/unfamiliar with my other blog) Archer isn’t exactly the most social of toddlers. He likes dirt. And rocks. And dogs. And running wild at the zoo. But parties? Not so much, so I’m a little annoyed by all the birthday fuss and feel like I’m some kind of traitor to mommy-culture for not feeling any excitement what-so-ever when it comes to birthday planning.
“Why should I plan a fancy shmancy birthday for my child when he will hate it?” I think. “Why should I invite every child I have ever met in Archer’s age bracket when he has never even acknowledged them for a second?”
Right? Right?
It’s kind of like the way I see weddings: a whole lotta money to get your friends loaded and feed them cold fish. Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings. I love to go to them, to be a part of them (and I love all of my wonderful friends who have had them lately) I just never wanted one for me. Vegas was more my style. G-to the-Hetto. I’d much rather spend my parent’s cash on world-travel and/or a down-payment on a house than on a day that includes “celebrate good times, COME ON!” blasting from the DJ booth. I’d rather not put that kind of pressure on my spouse or myself. (What if the marriage doesn’t work out and you just spent your parent’s life savings on a friggin cake with a plastic bride on top? Etc.)
And the same goes for birthday parties for uninterested toddlers.
Because Archer’s birthday shouldn’t be an excuse for me to impress my friends or family or anyone else. Archer’s birthday should be a quiet laid-back time for playing in the sprinklers and jumping in mud puddles and doing the things that 2-year-olds REALLY enjoy.
So come one, come all! Join us for Archer’s 2nd Birthday Party! Bring your whatever and we’ll do whatever.
Because… whatever.
***
We did theme b-days for my daughter and it got old real fast. Her 5th b-day is coming up and would rather just have a few friends over to slide down the blow up water slide and play in the blow up pool.
What I have found, in my area, is that the kids really dont care. When they get older they enjoy playing with the friends and that is all they need. Since we live out in the boonies, it is a special treat to have friends over.
There is always a big crowd at our kids’ b-days, because we invite family and friends. We just like to hang out, eat and make each other laugh. Trust me we are a weird bunch, someone is going to do something to make us all laugh.
We never had big parties when I was a kid and were just happy with a homemade cake. Although, I never pass up a chance to get a cake from the special bakery for a b-day, so we pre-order the cake. I dont understand spending tons on parties. The kids dont care. My daughter didnt even want to stop to open presents last time. I am sure that will change over time.
Happy Birthday, Archer. Have fun whatever you do.
Isn’t it most important to do what the birthday guy wants?? You da best, Mama for acknowledging that. Archer is king for the day (every day???) so live it up Archer-style and play with the mad hose. Happy birthday, little guy. Do whatever.
i hear ya! weddings…blah. not for me. b-day parties to the extreme…barf. i do admit to love throwing them though…its my anal side though and i lurve to make cakes and feed people. no bouncy crap houses, etc…i can’t stand those things.
happy early b-day archer!
For the record, my husband and I paid for our wedding. Not our parents. Do people still expect mommy and daddy to foot the bill these days? Especially when so many people live together beforehand?
The “theme” for my son’s second birthday was a caterpillar cake, which he loved, and some cartoony looking plates to eat said cake on. Themes and games are for older kids, not toddlers.
The phrase “attention span of a two year old” was coined for a reason.
Stick to your guns; chill out eat sweets and play in the water. (Water play after cake means less mess to clean?)
Ha! I’ve had the “celebrate good times COME ON” at my prom. And I’m still trying to scrub the memory off.
You are so funny…and so right on!! I can’t believe all the effort I used to put into toddler birthday parties, only to have them collapse in a pool of tears and exhaustion. It was totally for the other parents, a sort of display behavior. I’m so glad that now my kids are older and we keep it low key…
i’ve been to many a toddler party and not one of them has ever liked the clown.
they don’t even know it’s their birthday for chrissysnow’ssake!! i work in a preschool and my daughter goes there and we have gone to so many parties at the same place…she loves it (they are turning 4 so a bit older) but now i feel pressured to invite all of those kids to her party. her parties are usually just excuses to invite my friends over and bbq!! now what????
i say if Archer likes Elmo then get a table cloth and call it your theme!
I think “parental survival” is a good theme for all birthday parties until at least age four. Or 18.
I don’t do big birthday parties at all!! I have picked up a couple kids took them to McD for lunch and then our house for cake and more playtime. But now that my oldest is in Kindergarten, I gave him the choice of a party with a couple of friends or cupcakes for his class. I wasn’t going to do both. Fortunately he picked the cupcakes for school, that was so much easier.
I’m with you, Rebecca. Small gatherings without the hoopla and themes are often the most meaningful. Themes are so 80′s. Besides, if you go all out for birthdays 2,3, and 4… what will the child expect by age 10, 16, … a wedding? There’s a local non-profit group of people who are concerned about the extravagence of birthday parties in this day and age, they even made it into Time magazine. Check it out…
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.org/
I couldn’t agree more. My little guy didn’t have a birthday party for his second or his first birthday. We had cake and ice cream with family — and I made the cake both times, so there was no need to pre order anything. I don’t even know if he’ll have a third birthday party since we’re likely going to be in a new neighborhood and I’ll be 37 weeks pregnant. And you know what, I don’t think he’s going to mind. You are so right that those fancy parties are all about the parents trying to impress other parents and that most of the time the kids don’t even enjoy “their” party.
For my daughter’s 2nd birthday back in October, we had a cake and snacks out in the yard, and I bought a bunch of cheap party game stuff from the Oriental Trading Company catalog (ring-toss games, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, etc.) The guests ranged in age from 2 to about 8, so I wanted to have things that were appropriate for the older kids to do. We didn’t “schedule” any activities, other than doling out the cake and singing happy birthday. The kids had a blast — including the guest of honor! And the mommies and daddies had fun just hanging out watching the kids run around.
My family loves to get together for a good time, and we actually like the theme ideas. However, we do it a little differently than everyone else. I just take whatever the kid is really into at the moment and turn it into a party.
But mostly I agree, people go way over board with the materialism involved. Just do whatever to have fun!
My theme for Avery’s second birthday this weekend?
Come play in the yard and eat cake.
Period.
really-2 year olds don’t like that crap, or mine doesn’t anyway. but we got married at city hall too. good people, (just a handful) and food is all you need.
on the flip side, we went to a two year old party at Gymboree. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. My daughter was maybe 13 months old and had a blast. Every kid there had a great time. They ranged in age from 13 months to 4.5 years.
I did cake and stuff at the house for the 1 year party, but for the 2 year, I am thinking Gymboree. I know it is expensive, but it is once a year. We never go there and who really wants a bunch of kids running around your small house all morning (DD birthday is in January).
I am almost ashamed to admit it, but I did a theme for my son Avery’s first birthday. I was under a lot of pressure from the grandparents, and the general public. I did pirates. (not pirates of the carribean, just pirates.) Avery was grumpy and exhausted the entire day. I should have known better. He obviously takes after me. I hate big to-dos. Next year, it’s just cake and ice cream in the backyard.
My daughter didn’t have a birthday party until she was four. Then we invited 25 kids, got the clown, and she really loved it. She is very social and loves being around lots of people.
This year her brother turned four, and when I asked him what he wanted to do for his first party, he said, “No party! No friends! Just family!”
Which is good, because I saved my energy to sew eight mermaid costumes for my daughter’s party. But my point (besides DON’T promise your child that you will make outfits for all of her guests unless she is only allowed to invite two kids) is that you have to do what is enjoyable for you and your kid. One cake, two candles, and one person to sing the song is plenty for most two-year-olds.
OhwnJc Hey, there is what you need.