I’m afraid Archer’s going through his Morrissey phase (musically, I mean.) He has a new-found love for sadness and hauntingly depressing melodies and lyrics. For example, Archer knows all the melodies to the Once (Swell Season) soundtrack. He can even sing half the lyrics to Falling Slowly and did so during their moving performance at The Academy Awards. The room went silent when little Archer started singing along to the television, the only child in attendance (per usual) belting out “raise yo hooodoo voooy you ahhhh a dooooice” (raise your hopeful voice/ you have a choice) and any one who wasn’t wiping the tears from their cheeks probably and most likely left their souls in El Segundo. With their wallets. Seriously. I was sobbing in my dip.
Usually, parents can rest assured that their Children’s Music will be jubilant and even silly! In fact, in my experience kid’s music is (usually) sublimely happy to the point of annoyance. Songs about Octopus’ gardens and shaking one’s sillies out, etc. But Puff the Magic Dragon? I wonder how many people offed themselves listening to Puff the Magic Dragon: the saddest, most depressing song ever written. And guess who’s obsessed? OBSESSED. Archer could not be more in love with a song.
“Puff! Again! Puff! AGAIN!!!”
“Archer! NO! I cannot listen to that song again. I can’t bear it!”
“Again! PUFF! AGAIN! AGAINAGAINAGAIN PUFF PUFF PUFF!”
Because, seriously folks, could anything be more depressing for a parent? To be reminded of the most certain fact that someday our children will grow up to be dragon-killers? Sheesh, louish.
A dragon lives forever but not so little girls and boys? Painted rings and giant’s things make way for other toys? (Oh, God! No!) One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more? (Why? Jackie Paper! COME BACK!!!) Puff that Mighty dragon he ceased his fearless roar? (Come on, Puff! Roar! Please roar!!!) His head was bent in sorrow? (God, noooooo!!!) Green scales fell like rain? (Can’t you glue them back? Oh, Puff! Say you can!) Puff no longer came to play upon the cherry lane? (Somebody do something! SOMEBODY!) Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave. So Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave? (NOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo x infinity…)
I’m sorry, but if this song doesn’t make you cry you have no soul. NO SOUL, I say!
Anyway, in the spirit of emo-Archer, do any of your kids have a heartbreaking favorite song? Anyone’s kid rocking out to Nina Simone singing Mr. Bojangles? or Elliot Smith’s Waltz #2? Gimme something to cry about, people.