Seventeen weeks to go. Seventeen effing weeks. That’s like, a thousand weeks in pregnancy weeks by the way. (Pregnancy weeks are like regular weeks except every day that passes seems like ten because they’re so damn LOOOONG. Seriously. Is it still Wednesday? It feels like last Wednesday. Or would it feel like next Wednesday? I don’t even know anymore.)
…Twenty-three weeks pregnant? Sha! More like twenty-three YEARS…
I recently wrote about my new obsession with HGTV but that’s like, soooo last week. This week I’m all about Discovery Health. The other night, while flipping channels, AKA, my new favorite SEVENTEEN-WEEKS-LEFT hobby, I came across this show, which shockingly was EXACTLY what I was looking for. Screw nesting. I want BIRTH STORIES! Show me the MOMMIES! Preferably in labor!
“Oh my God, Hal! You should get a job on THIS show! It’s about women giving BIRTH!”
“Uh… Yeah, Bec. Sounds fun!”
And then, about five seconds later:
“Gee… Everyone in this show is so familiar for some reason…Weird”
And then I realized that duh! Of COURSE everyone in the show is familiar. The show takes place in my doctor’s office. At my new-improved (sorry, Cedars) hospital.
“Look Hal! There’s our receptionist! And my favorite nurse! Whoa! And there’s that one chick that couldn’t figure out my insurance card!”
Los Angeles is funny like that. You turn on the television and look, there’s my house in the background of that commercial! or Hey! I met that guy on Nerve personals, back in 2001 and now he’s on THAT show?
I should have known it was only time before my doctor’s office got its own TV show.
Holy shitbitch! There’s the ultrasound machine I saw my baby on for the first time. And the scale they weigh my pregnant ass on every month!
Needless to say, I’ve been TIVOing the show like a motha. I mean, I have seventeen-years until I birth this babe, I might as well get acquainted with the birthing rooms I’ll soon be laboring in and the dude who will most likely be administering my epidural. Being that it’s on TV and all.
Thank you Discovery Health Channel and Viva Los Angeles!