I feel like I’m coming full circle with this post as one of my very first SFTB posts was about childproofing the house for Archer, almost three years ago. The difference being, Archer was nine-months older than Fable at the time.
I heard that second children were faster to crawl, walk, talk, do pretty much everything, but I wasn’t really prepared for the holy-shit-how-did-fable-crawl-into-the-bathroom-so-fast-to-teethe-on-the-toilet-seat-she-was-playing-at-my-feet-two-seconds-ago this early in her bobblerhood. (ed: bobbler = baby/toddler.) Archer didn’t crawl until he was thirteen-months, walk until he was seventeen-months and even then he never got into anything dangerous and/or disgusting.
I seriously could have left him home alone for days and he would have likely played quietly by himself with his various baby toys, before putting himself down for three-hour naps and twelve-hour sleeps, never once getting involved with anything dangerous and/or disgusting.
Fable on the other hand…
…doesn’t understand the point of toys whatsoever.
Teethers? Why put something clean and cute in her mouth when there are dirty shoes to lick the bottoms of?
Rattles? Psh. The only rattle Fable wants is a bottle of cake sprinkles, which we have forbade ever since the time she cracked one open with her razor teeth. I’m constantly scooping, wiping, grabbing pretty much every object Fable decides to make her own which means the time has come to childproof the hell out of our house…
Although this time? Underwear on the cabinets and maxi pads on the corners of tables aren’t going to cut it. Clearly, we’re dealing with a professional here, which is why I come to you for guidance.
seconds before she put this leaf into her mouth…
What are your finest childproofing tips? What items do you suggest for childproofing? Do you think childproofing is ever really successful? I mean, clearly, I have to keep an eye on her at all times, regardless of how many sockets are covered with plastic, right? I’m especially curious to hear from those of you with second children because like I’ve said before, childproofing a house that is full of four-year-old toys kind of seems like an impossible task.
Oy. I truly suck at this part of parenting.
P.S. Thank you all for such supportive comments on my last post. It was such a relief hearing your stories. Solidarity, sisters.