Santa Claus is coming to town
When Hal and I first got together/pregnant/married (because
it all happened, pretty much on the same day) we discussed whether or not we
would raise our unborn baby Jewish. To Hal it was important we subscribe solely
to Jewish tradition, dropping all the Hallmark mass-marketed Christmas crap,
which I was cool with because YEAH! Screw Hallmark! Screw the man!
Raised in a predominantly Jewish household myself (my father
is Jewish and my mother was raised celebrating all religions. Her father was
Jewish which means I’m technically ¾ Jewish which means technically our kids
are 7/8 Jewish which is pretty majority, then again, my mother’s mother wasn’t
Jewish so technically, I’m not Jewish. Technically, I’m also very confused, but that’s kind of per usual these days so eh.)
That being said, I’ve always identified culturally, even spiritually with Judaism, no matter how infrequently I
attended Temple. (Twice a year?)
And yet, even still, there’s no denying I’ve always been a HUGE
Christmas person. I love caroling and dressing the Christmas tree and
wrapping
gifts in the home-made wrap I make out of recycled back-issues of
Vogue. I
listen to Christmas music the entire month of December and wear my
Christmas
socks year round. I love Christmas lights and wreaths and mistletoe and
elves and bows and fake snow on the rooftops of nativity scenes. I love
IT ALL.
So when Hal said to me, “No Christmas!” I said. “Okay, cool. I totally understand.” but
inside I was screaming, “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
After many tears and much debate we compromised on
celebrating Hanukkah in our house and Christmas with my family, which was
fine with me and totally awesome because I would our kids would have the best of both worlds, I’d still get to
inhale pine for one week out of the month and Archer could experience the magic
of Christmas morning c/o presents from my parents.
We both agreed that Santa was out of the question,
unnecessary and totally stupid.
“Why would we lie to our kid about Santa? How lame!”
“Right? Stupid, stupid. So very silly.”
That was before Archer was old enough to understand who Santa Claus truly was – a magical man who wore red (Archer’s favorite color!) and LOVED giving presents to all the boys and girls! I mean… come on. How could we NOT let Santa into our my parent’s home? The dude is AWESOME. And surely he loves all children, regardless of their religious orientation, right? Surely, it wouldn’t hurt for the son we’re raising Jewish(ish) to love him back? Or so I thought to myself quietly.
… up until I came home Sunday night to find Archer’s handwritten letter to Santa Claus (thanks to Hal who helped Archer with spelling) and a brand new (and already quite bent-up) copy of The Polar Express, a book Archer fell in love with at school and Hal bought for him while I was away.
“What’s this?” I said to Hal as I put down my bags.
“Archer wrote a letter to Santa,” he said. “Isn’t it cute?”
“I thought we weren’t going to do Santa?”
“Yeah, we weren’t but whatever, it’s fun.”
That’s the thing about Christmas – it’s fun. And compelling. And fun. And for us
non-religious, interdenominational, culturally ambiguous types, that’s kind of what matters most.
To us, anyway.
L’chaim, Mr. Claus.
***
Bec — I’m 100% Jewish and believed in Santa til I was 7! I’m all for it. I even forced my 25-year-old little boy to come to Santaland with me this year.
ah, i love christmas too. I don’t get the santa is lame thing though. Does that mean all fantasy, imaginary friends etc. were off the list or just this one particular magical guy? Fantasy, magic and imagination are crazy over here in my household- we’re hunting fairies and gnomes up in here which are no different than the red guy. but admittedly we’re a head in the clouds family, haha and are always jumping into another world with out imaginations. and we totally worship the magic of x-mas as well (non religious aspects thank you, ha!)!!!
I also wrap presents in back issues of Vogue <3
And, though both my parents grew up celebrating Xmas, we celebrate that and all the Jewish holidays with our famy bffs who are Jewish. I’ve been to temple way more times in my life than a church and I think I’m all the better for it.
i’m an atheist and i’ve wondered about this. our oldest is nearly 3 and santa (or father christmas as we call him) has just loomed pretty large on her horizon and we’ve decided to go with it. it is fun and just because i don’t believe in a god or whatever doesn’t mean i don’t think the magic and wonder of christmas isn’t important to children. it was very important to me! my parents went to great lengths to keep our belief in father christmas going. one year my mum woke us up in the middle of the night and told us to be very quiet but to come downstairs and peek throught he living room door and there was father christmas (my dad in costume, from who knows where!) putting presents under the tree. i love that they did things like that, i don’t know if i will ever go that far but i’m grateful that they did. and let’s face it they must have had soooo much fun doing it!!
i’m agnostic & my husband is jewnostic & we celebrate both. i was just talking to a friend this week in our situations, but she is jewish & he is not. i totally get both perspectives for the holidays. i would bet that my friend’s husband is more interested this year because he sees that their daughter is old enough to enjoy it. for me, christmas is a time to celebrate the love of our family. my husband has always been okay with it, but has shared some reservations with me. since i don’t have religious leanings and it truly doesn’t dishonor their jewishness, but does honor my family and traditions, it works for us. I can see it being very hard for jews, but I truly appreciate that we get to share this part of my life with the kids.
and i told my husband once that, as a person who doesn’t believe in god, it’s hard for me to deal with jewish holidays because they are ALL about religion. sure, christmas and easter started that way, that’s not why i celebrate them.
good on hal for embracing something fun & magical. it shows a great level of maturity that he can look past any barriers in regards to santa.
So nice that Hal came around, because, seriously? What’s not to love about Santa? ALSO! See if you can find a recording of David Sedaris’s Six to Eight Black Men and listen to it. That will jam the Christmas Spirit into anyone.
my mom was raised jewish and my dad is technically jewish but raised pretty much religion-free. growing up, we celebrated… everything. all the jewish holidays, plus christmas (tree, presents, santa), and easter (chocolate, eggs, easter bunny). i adore christmas and i wouldn’t give it up for the world. i know a lot of people don’t agree with taking the religion out of christmas, but to me it’s simply a wonderful expression of love and caring and friendship and belief in things that are magical and special. at the darkest, coldest time of year (well, here on the east coast, anyway) it’s a time for us to push back the winter with lights and love and warmth. through my window you can see the lights of my christmas tree and the candles on my menorah, happily coexisting in wintry celebration. and i wouldn’t have it any other way.
1/2 Jew but technically not at all Jew because my mother converted through the conservative synagogue in order to marry my dad. Confused! We celebrated both jewish and christian/secular stuff growing up. I had a bat mitzvah just 6 weeks after celebrating easter in 1988.
My husband was raised as a Mennonite. His parents are very very Christian, very very non-materialistic, very very anti-Santa.
So our kid will get the best of all of these worlds. The best of the confusion. She will have Santa – with a proper explanation. Chanukkah without the gifts. Christmas lights and tree.
L’chaim back at you.
Lets be honest here, most of us tree decorating, sitting on Santa’s lap, twinkle light lovers aren’t religious. I mean, if you really sit down and think about it, the things about Christmas that really whip people into excitement, trees, cookies, decorating, Santa, Frosty, lights, they have nothing AT ALL to do with Christianity.
So good for you guys. You can be proud Jews, while still standing in line at the mall to get a picture with Santa.
Best of both worlds.
I too wrap everything in magazine pages! And decorative twine!
Yes, we thought the same thing. “Santa is so lame. Why lie about it to our kids?” But this year Ella is 3.5 and is ALL ABOUT the Santa. It’s interesting, though, explaining the mechanics of it all to her, as she asks questions after question after …
Yup it is about fun and the children. Skoal!
As much as everyone seems to be on the pro-Santa side of things here, I have to say that I don’t remotely feel deprived because my parents told me Santa wasn’t real and the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real either. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t get presents that said they were from Santa or put out cookies for Santa or put my teeth under my pillow in exchange for quarters, but I knew we were playing pretend. My parents were also very specific that my brothers and I were not allowed to tell our friends who believed in Santa that they were wrong.
I think I actually enjoyed the Santa myth longer than my friends did, because playing pretend was still fun when I was 10 or 11, while they had mostly “stopped believing” and given up on Santa by 6 or 7.
Sounds like fun, whatever you call it!
I was raised in a evangelical Christian household (my father is a pastor) that celebrated Jewish holidays because Jesus was a Jew. As a child I enjoyed Passover, Purim, and Hanukkah more than Easter, Halloween (which we didn’t celebrate) and Christmas (in which Jesus, not Santa–never Santa–held the starring role).
I’m now agnostic, married to an athiest (raised Lutheran) and we’re trying to figure out the whole holiday deal for our daughter. I still want to celebrate Jewish holidays because they remind me of my happiest childhood memories, but I also want Santa Claus (as much for me as for her, I admit it!), and I want my daughter to experience other holidays that have not been a part of my life but are important to so many others (like Diwali).
So: I don’t think there’s a “right answer” here. We just need to focus on the warmth of family and friends and let them lead the way.
Okay, so I seem to be the lone Christian commenting here for whom advent is a beautiful, religious season culminating in the joyous celebration of Christmas. But, even if it isn’t all or any of that for you, it is a time for fun, family,goodwill and imagination. Unless it conflicts with other beliefs you hold dear, I say go for it. (And the more of us that make it about our faith and/or kindness to others, rather than consumerism, the better.)
Christmas is my favorite holiday, bar none. I love shopping (online, I’m no masochist) for the perfect gifts for other people, driving around and looking at the lights, taking my kids (5, 6 & a very tall 8) to see Santa. I’m not religious, but we go to see the local Christian nativity scene and make latkes on Hanukkah. We drink eggnog, sing carols in the car and drop off gifts for needy families. If you look beyond the robotic hamster nonsense and the bah-humbuggers, it’s the best time of the year. To me, it’s magic, and who can resist magic? (I’m a big kid, though—my parents had to give me gifts “from Santa” until I was in college b/c I loved the myth so much)
Love the video! I was really digging the standing/dancing/wobbling…until that gorgeous doggy walked in front of the camera. Oh my! We lost our bulldog last summer and I’m in the midst of some serious doggy-fever (like normal people who have baby-fever?). So your boxer made my heart skip a beat. She’s/he’s a beauty!
I’m an atheist, and I love Santa. I agree, it is nice because it encourages fantasy, fun, generosity, and best of all, good behavior.
However, I’m having a hard time explaining it to the two and a half yearold.
Who wouldn’t want to celebrate a seasonal tradition that involves FREE presents and COOKIES and pretty LIGHTS and late-night STORIES and magical REINDEER and a WONDERFUL LAND far away from all the stresses and cruelty of the world today? I’m not a religous person at all, but I love the idea of Santa Clause and Christmas (not really the Jesus part so much) and family-togetherness. I think Santa has the ability to transcend religious barriers; we all have a child inside of us and Santa helps to remind us of that, if only for one day of the year.
“Saint Nicholas of Myra is the primary inspiration for the Christian figure of Santa Claus. He was a 4th-century Greek Christian bishop of Myra (now Demre) in Lycia, a province of the Byzantine Anatolia, now in Turkey. Nicholas was famous for his generous gifts to the poor, in particular presenting the three impoverished daughters of a pious Christian with dowries so that they would not have to become prostitutes.”
(from Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus)
So. Santa is awesome for an entirely new reason, too! He was the original dude behind BROS BEFORE HOES.
There are many (not all) things that I don’t agree with you on, which is what makes the world interesting, right? But I’m so happy you guys are doing Santa with the kids. Mine are all grown up and I miss it so much! It so precious watching their eyes light up when discussing Santa coming in and bringing gifts; it’s precious. We need to be mindful to leave some magic in childhood! They are little for such a short time so hang on to everything you can while it lasts!
Athiest married to a Jew. One son was converted to Judiasm the other not. We celebrate it all. The tree is up and decorated and the ELf is on the Shelf and my six year old talks to him daily. The magic is real in our house right now.
And tomorrow I will pull out the boxes of Hanukah decorations, etc. and set up the menorah on the table that is next to the Christmas tree. And we will light the candles and sing the blessings together. And then the four of us will sit there and watch the candles burn side by side with the lighted christmas tree.
Saturday I will make latkes and sugar cookies the kids can cut out and decorate – they choose the cutter…we have dreidles, star of david, and all the christmas themed ones.
To us it is about love and magic and family. And I honestly can’t wait until christmas morning to see the look on my two year olds face when he first sees his presents under the tree.
I was born a Christian, but have never been very religious. However, I am CRAZY about Christmas. I would have died a thousand deaths if my fiance suggested that we not celebrate Christmas in our home!!! Amen to you girlie, for being stronger than I! As it is, I freak out because he wants a fake tree instead of a real tree! LOL.
I have a friend who decided to tell her 4-year-old the truth about Santa from the start. I kinda get it, I do, but when he so-matter-of-factly tells me there IS no Santa, it makes me kinda sad.
Merry Christmas
And Happy Channukah tonight, right? !!
I was raised by a formerly-Catholic, Born-again Baptist father and mother who was raised in a vaguely Protestant household and went on a search for religion during most of my childhood, until she finally declared herself a Buddhist. I went to Catholic church with my grandparents, Baptist church with my Dad, and all sorts of religious places with my mother, including an Earth Goddess worship circle at an all-women-and-girls summer camp. I had no idea what my religion was until I read about Romantic Era Pantheists in a lit class my freshman year in college and decided that was probably what I was.
My husband, on the other hand, was raised in a Catholic family and went to Catholic school in a Catholic neighborhood with Catholic friends and has vehemently rejected ALL of it, declaring himself an atheist.
So, outside of pleasing my husband’s Catholic relatives who are not-so-secretly terrified that my husband, son and I are all riding in a handbasket to Hell, we really have no reason do to Christmas or Santa, but we do it anyway.
I figure celebrating the return of light to the Earth on one of the darkest days of the year by spending time with family and friends and giving people presents to show how much you love them is a nice thing to do, no matter how you do it. And as for Santa? Well, my mother always told me Santa was really a symbol of the spirit of giving inside everyone, and that besides, all children need to believe in magic at least for a while to keep their minds from becoming too closed to possibilities outside what they already know.
I agree with her.
We’re all sorts of mixed up here too. We’ve got Jews, Quakers, Buddhists and Pagans in our family and like Hal, I was all “no Christmas, no Santa, no reindeer in our house!” And then the kids softened me up and now Christmas seems like a big cheery smile in the middle of a cold, dark time and I’m all “bring on the tree, the eggnog, the carols and the ham. And the menorah and dreidel too.”
It’s great that you’ve incorporated a fun tradition into your family. But if you’re celebrating CHRISTmas why go to great lengths to identify yourself as Jewish? (and the question is asked respectfully) If you go to temple 2x/year but thoroughly enjoy Christmas for a month, it sounds like Christian holidays bring you more satisfaction.
I was raised Christian and I LOVED Christmas. It wasn’t a religious holiday – it was all about family time, chocolate Advent calendars and gifts. However, as an adult I converted to Conservative Judaism. Since I chose to identify with the Jewish people, I gave up Christmas. It didn’t seem logical to be religiously Jewish and remain culturally Christian. Yes Christmas is fun, but Judaism also offers several “fun” holidays: Hanukkah (8 nights), Purim and Sukkot (Yom Kippur, not so much). The down side is that only a small group enjoys/celebrates these holidays because mainstream advertisers aren’t encouraging majority participation.
Well looks like I’ll be the only Muslim commenting…
Ahem.
We don’t celebrate Christmas for obvious reasons, but I’ll be the first to tell you how incredibly FUN and EXCITING Christmas time/Holiday season is.
It’s the general atmosphere of festivities, love, warmth, family etc that’s so drawing and hey, for whatever religious or commercial etc reasons, I think it’s easy for people to get into it. Regardless of their religious orientation.
And the country you live in makes a huge difference. Here, it’s nationally celebrated. In some places, it’s hardly noted.
So eh. So many factors play in.
Anyway, my friends and I sing Christmas songs when the mood strikes.
*Dashing through the snow! In a one horse open sleigh…”
EVERYBODY!
Oh and I wanted to point out that Eid is like a Muslim’s Christmas and we go ALLL OUT for it, but like I mentioned before, it’s not nationally celebrated like Christmas is…so it’s just not as hyped and super fun here like in some countries.
Unfortunately.
In the video on GGC of Fable dancing, it looks like now that she’s standing she’s not quite sure what to do with her hands. Freakin’ adorable. =)
My mom converted to Judaism when I was 5 and I was raised Jewish. My mom’s family is (CRAZY!) evangelical Christians. Growing up we did Hannukah in our house, Xmas with mom’s family… and Xmas morning my brother and I always had a single present from Santa and a full stocking (which, weirdly, was blue with Stars of David on it. No tree). I’m 29 and I STILL get presents from Santa Christmas morning at my mom’s. I don’t think there is anything wrong with doing the Santa thing. By the time they are old enough to figure out the truth they are also old enough to figure out why you lied.
In beliefs, I consider myself Jewish. But HOLY CRAP do I luuurrrvveeee Christmas! I celebrate it as a secular family holiday… kind of like Thanksgiving, actually. It’s a chance to see my family, eat a lot, listen to awesome Christmas music and give presents.