Strollerderby
10 Signs that Parenting is More Equal than it Used to be
While it is debatable whether truly equal parenting is common or just an impossible dream, there are signs that indicate the era of “Father Knows Best” or even “Mr. Mom” — Look! That Man is Holding a Vacuum!!” are long gone. And good riddance!
Here are 10 common signs that co-parenting is on the upswing:
1. Diaper changing tables in the men’s room – Because even Daddy changes diapers now, even though grandpa likely still won’t.
2. Paternity leave – These days fathers are expected to take more than just a week or two off work when baby arrives. When patched onto the end of maternity leave, paternity leave is invaluable to most families.
3. Daddy takes a sick day – Fathers who in previous generations would rely on their wives to take sick days when the kids were ill, now use some of their time to take care of Billy’s cold.
4. Doctors, dentists, and parent-teacher conferences – No longer solely the domain of mamas, it is wonderfully heartening to see so many Dads taking the lead in these previously mom-only domains.
5. Stay at home, daddy – If it’s good enough for Brad Pitt, it’s good enough for Mike Adamick and Gavin Rossdale (even though he might eschew daddydom for the tour). Primary caregiving isn’t just for mommies anymore. And thankfully, we don’t need any movies with Michael Keaton to prove to us how inept men are at domestic things.
6. Dad writes – Ever since Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath penned poems about mothering, the literary description of parenting has previously been mostly left to women. Thankfully that is now no longer the case. From beautifully written blogs like Sweet Juniper to funny writings at Dadcentric, the unique literary expression of fatherhood will never be ignored again.
7. Baby packs – Even 10 years ago, it was less common to see daddies hauling the little babies in the packs and slings and Bjorns. The most beautiful site is when Daddy carries new baby in the Bjorn, holds the hand of the toddler, while balancing a cell phone and carrying a bag of groceries. Welcome to my world!
8. Man bags - Many of them are “geared toward men” because they are made of ugly camouflage, but as long as none of us have to carry nylon diaper bags covered in teddy bears and baby bottles, it’s all good.
9. Daddy ain’t heavy – Daddy used to be the threat to insure good behavior. Most parents I know share the role of good cop/bad cop with the kids, so neither parent has to be consdered the heavy.
10. Dad is the new Mom – More and more women are the primary breadwinner and are happy to leave primary caretaking to the men. Even when Daddy doesn’t stay home full-time, more men are taking the childrearing reins.
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12 Comments
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amWhile diaper changing is our family was totally up to me, visits to doctors and dentists are our Dad’s duty… He is much more patient, and understanding… and much better mommy than me (may be cause she adores her Dad and is always agree to do whatever he asks her of… if I am asking her of just anything – she starts battling with me…)
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amDifferent strokes for different folks. While there are some parenting truths, none of then involed who should do what. Every family has different situation and different needs, the family needs to work out what’s best for them.
Having said that, I completely agree wiht TRESMOMMY, more power to eqaulity in parenting, it takes to make a baby, it should take to two to raise one. I particularly loathe the stament in CRUCNCHYMOMMY’s post about “women HAVE[ing] to work” like those of use who WANT to work and have a life in a space we can call our own are somehow because we are doing something we don’t have to.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amcrunchymommy, are you serious? my husband may be the primary bread winner, but I can tell you for sure, he has changed tons of diapers, made tons of bottles, and given plenty of baths. A father not being involved in the raising of his children is a HUGE injustice to the child. BOTH parents have something to offer. Get off your high horse and recognize the truth of it all. . One day your kids will remember Daddy never being there, and one day your husband will regret never knowing his children. Hope your ok with that.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amFew men can afford to take a leave of absence from their jobs to take care of children. mamaof1 is very lucky.
One thing people have to do is get their finances in such a state that they can live on one income. Then having a parent (doesn’t matter which parent (although for most women it does)) stay home with the kids is OK. This often involves an austerity that most younger American women are not comfortable with. However, it is an arrangement which raised many of your parents…
DK
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amMy husband carries half the responsibility of raising our child. He is a wonderful, gentle person and our son will grow up knowing that we both love him. I spent the first year of our son’s life at home with him. In Oct, my husband will take a year off and raise our little boy. I cannot imagine a better situation.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amcrunchymommy: Wow. Do what you feel is right, but lay off the judgment.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amumm… I know that I don’t fit the “modern” mom mold, but I still think that raising the kids is the job of mommy. And that line of most mothers are happy to leave primary caretaking to the men? I’m sorry but if you aren’t willing to raise your own kids….
I understand that some women HAVE to work, I really do and I admire women who do what they have to to support the family. However, I still believe that women should be the childrens primary care giver. I have three children, and I’ll tell you, my husband NEVER changes a diaper, has NEVER gotten up in the night to feed or change the baby, and that’s okay, he works three jobs. So in short, I don’t agree with this aritcal at all.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amIt’s my Husband & my first child. when we first took our son home form the hospital. while driving home we were smelling something funning in the car. we i turn my head where our son is, he have gone on the diaper. i agree & told my husband well it’s our first time changing diapers and i will watch you do it. we both look at each other and started laughing. at the end my husband end up changing the diaper.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amThis post reminded me of a funny thing that happened when our 12 month old was just a few days old. My hubby had her in a sling and she was sound asleep, he went into a men’s room and a bunch of guys in their early 20′s were looking at him like he had 3 heads (they thought it was a costume or something)–they were a little rambunctious and apparently one of the guys said–”yo dudes you gotta be quiet–he’s got a little baby in there” and they instantly all looked at him with admiration! Did I mention the sling is lime green!
steffmarcusky commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amMy kid’s first word was Daddy, and yet we share parenting – I work 8:30-2:30, DH works 3-midnight.
megymelly commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amAlong the same lines, I want to give a shout out to Ikea and stores like them, who provide “family restrooms”, where ANYBODY, Mom, Dad, or Grandpa, can go change the baby, while minding the toddler – the one we visited last week even had a little sink so you don’t have to hoist your kid up to have them wash their hands. I love not always being the one who has to go change the baby!
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 am“…more men are increasingly taking the childrearing reigns.”?
Is there a copy editor in the house?
Otherwise, nice list. I do love that more and more men’s rooms feature diaper changing tables.
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