Having a baby is always a shock – even when you know when you’re due, what you’re having, and where it’s going to sleep. Remember the feeling of stepping out into the world for the first time, with your newborn in your arms? That crushing wave of emotion - joy, pain, fear, relief, duty, awe and pride – washing over you, a complete shock to your nervous system, even though you’d had almost a full year to prepare for it?
Now imagine that feeling, magnified by a thousand, minus the year’s worth of mental and household preparation, and you’ll know what April Barnum felt like last week, when she checked herself into a California hospital as an obese woman having stomach pains – and checked out as a new mom.
X-rays revealed that the source of April’s discomfort was a full-term baby boy, whom April had no idea she was carrying, due to the fact that her obesity had rendered her monthly cycle irregular years ago. Nevertheless, 48 hours after arriving at the hospital, April gave birth to 7 pound, 7 ounce Walter Scott Edwards III. Little Walter was born by Cesarean, with no complications, save for the ones he caused his parents.
New dad Walter Edwards II told reporters that he and his wife did not plan on having children, so they spent their money adopting dogs instead (they have 4). Friends and family donated baby gear, because, as Walter lamented, “You need the money most when you’re having a baby.”
Congratulations to the new family. And don’t worry – that ‘shocked’ feeling will go away when your kid hits 30 (or so my parents tell me).