I consider my paycheck a reward for good behavior. I slack off or do a bad job I do not get paid. So offering gifts for good behavior is just good practice for life. Giving gifts as an expression of love is weird. I give hugs, attention, and my time as an expression of love.
I think I’m with the WSJ article’s author on this. Presents should be gifts, not rewards. The consequence for slacking off at college: failing college courses. By the time they are at college, they should be more worried about disappointing themselves than disappointing their parents. If you’re mad about them wasting your money, you misjudged their preparation for such independence. That was your mistake, live with your consequences. But don’t repeat the mistake.
And I wouldn’t set up a pattern of “handing your kids expensive material goods” at Christmas or birthdays, either. In fact, I’m starting to think that we’re never going to bother with Santa Claus at all (kid’s just 7 months). Yep, I might just be that killjoy who tells her kids that the parents are Santa. That’s why some kids get WIIs and iPods and some kids get colouring books. Or maybe my kids will just stockings with necessities per the story of St. Nicholas.
I would prefer that my kids carry a great holiday memory into their adulthood rather than a memory of me being such a control freak that I had to get the upper hand during a cherished time of year. The holidays are about family, not about discipline, in our house.
When I was a kid, my parents had 
I consider my paycheck a reward for good behavior. I slack off or do a bad job I do not get paid. So offering gifts for good behavior is just good practice for life. Giving gifts as an expression of love is weird. I give hugs, attention, and my time as an expression of love.
I think I’m with the WSJ article’s author on this. Presents should be gifts, not rewards. The consequence for slacking off at college: failing college courses. By the time they are at college, they should be more worried about disappointing themselves than disappointing their parents. If you’re mad about them wasting your money, you misjudged their preparation for such independence. That was your mistake, live with your consequences. But don’t repeat the mistake.
And I wouldn’t set up a pattern of “handing your kids expensive material goods” at Christmas or birthdays, either. In fact, I’m starting to think that we’re never going to bother with Santa Claus at all (kid’s just 7 months). Yep, I might just be that killjoy who tells her kids that the parents are Santa. That’s why some kids get WIIs and iPods and some kids get colouring books. Or maybe my kids will just stockings with necessities per the story of St. Nicholas.
I would prefer that my kids carry a great holiday memory into their adulthood rather than a memory of me being such a control freak that I had to get the upper hand during a cherished time of year. The holidays are about family, not about discipline, in our house.