I am 17 and have been taking oestrogen for a year. I always knew I was a girl and finally convinced my parents of that when I was 8, at which point they started treating me like a girl. I started wearing girls’ clothing full-time and took the name Anna.
Happily, my doctor was very supportive. I saw him regularly just for a chat and a check-up and as soon as I turned 10, he allowed me to start having injections to delay puberty. The injections did not prevent or adversely affect puberty, they simply halted it- like pressing the ‘pause’ button. At all times, I understood the implications of the treatment and I never felt coerced into doing anything I didn’t want to.
The result is that at 17, I am very well adjusted and happy and, as I did not go through male puberty, practically indistinguishable from my peers. While I agree, that oestrogen and testosterone should not be offered to under 16′s, I believe that preventing a child from experiencing what they feel to be the ‘wrong’ puberty is vital for their future mental health.
What is the opposite of light? What is the opposite of cold? What is the opposite of monkey? What is the opposite of Brazil? Now, what is the opposite of Girl? Why? Why does our society have the concept that male and female are somehow ‘opposites’? Julia Serano coined the term ‘Oppositional Sexism’ to describe this idea that male and female are ‘opposite’, and the assigning of behaviors, modes of dress, ‘suitable’ job categories, and other activities to one grouping or the other and then enforcing these assignments through societal sanctions, up to and including violence, on the transgressors.
Also in this issue I keep hearing the mantra, repeated over and over, ‘children can’t choose to be the opposite gender!’ Why not? At least 97% of them surely, definitely, unequivocally chose to be the gender that matches their bodies’ sex! And at such young ages, too! Before they start kindergarten, boys settle into building (and destroying) forts and battlefields in the sandbox, while girls build homes and communities. Who taught them? Did you parents carefully instruct your children in their correct gender roles, with gold stars for choosing the right clothing/toys/play activities — training them like some circus animal until they ‘got it right’?
Or did they just sort of fall into it without a whole lot of guidance from you? Why can’t they chose to be what they are inside? Because you won’t let them? And are you doing this for their benefit, or for yours?
To Sarah and EG:
The transition to the other gender happens around age 16, if the youth decides he/she wants to live as the opposite gender. So, yes, Sarah, the hormone blocker simply delays the onset of puberty, and the decision to take estrogen/testosterone happens later. And, EG, infertility only occurs with Stage 2 of the treatment (taking estrogen/testosterone), so this decision is not made when the child is 10, but typically at around age 16.
Wow, This is the topic that is close to my heart. I knew when I was in elementary school that I did not fit in with the normal boys. Every moment I could I took the brief time to be myself. Greatly conflicted. considering myself “BAD” in my parent and Gods view. My parents would not listen. Told Dont be a “FAG or Sissy”. I would have given anything for my parents to listen. Allow puberty to not happen. My Voice and body are now more female but only after plenty of surgery. I live Full time as a woman now but feel great sadness at the youth I lost being a “male”
To me the snag in this situation is that the hormones render a person infertile. So regardless of what decision the child makes later, they won’t be able to have children.
The decision of what gender to live as is an incredibly complex one I’m sure, but even if that were easy, can a 10-year-old say “This is worth me never having biological children”? I don’t think so.
I have to agree with Treespeed that it would seem rash to allow any permanent changes until the children grow into adults. Children and teens are just not mature enough yet to make such a life-changing decision.
My understanding from the NPR story was that these transgender youth are taking hormone blockers which delay puberty – but stopping treatment would allow them to resume their progression towards puberty in their birth gender. Or, as adults, they could decide to take opposite-sex hormones which would then be irreversible.
My opinion on this issue is colored by the fact that I had an adult friend who identified as gay and then as transgendered, and even started working towards changing his gender. Then after a few years he changed his mind. I’m not saying that these kids shouldn’t be allowed to make up their own minds, there are certainly many genetic and psychological components to gender identity, but maybe waiting until after the tumultuous teenage years might be a good idea before any permanent changes are made. There is a reason why make kids wait until they are 18 to get tatoos.
I agree that it must be hell to have a body that your mind doesn’t agree with. I say that Robert and Danielle are doing the right thing for Violet. I think by puberty kids really get a sense of themselves and have the right to delay puberty. I was a tomboy and always wished I could have had some of the same choices that boys did, but I never didn’t want to be a girl – there’s a big difference.
So what do people believe is at the root of the desire to be the opposite sex (in re your remark about “liberal minded” people’s not believing in transgenderism)? Do they think it is societal pressure? However, societal pressure generally moves in the opposite direction – to be a tougher boy or a frillier girl. So to what do people attribute the transgender leaning? I must be missing something. Anyway, this is interesting. I wonder when an individual can declare his or her gender identity and be mature enough to really mean it? I would guess that by ten most people would have a sense about which gender they identify with more. My son has a friend who is biologically a girl (they are in first grade) but insists she is “a guy.” She lives the part to a tee. Her parents roll with it – she’s a typical “boy” in clothing, haircut and activities. Her older sister is a typical girl. I wonder whether this is a phase or the real deal. I have always thought I was a girl and felt comfortable being a girl then a woman. I think it would hell to be in the “wrong” body. I really feel for these kids and families.
I am 17 and have been taking oestrogen for a year. I always knew I was a girl and finally convinced my parents of that when I was 8, at which point they started treating me like a girl. I started wearing girls’ clothing full-time and took the name Anna.
Happily, my doctor was very supportive. I saw him regularly just for a chat and a check-up and as soon as I turned 10, he allowed me to start having injections to delay puberty. The injections did not prevent or adversely affect puberty, they simply halted it- like pressing the ‘pause’ button. At all times, I understood the implications of the treatment and I never felt coerced into doing anything I didn’t want to.
The result is that at 17, I am very well adjusted and happy and, as I did not go through male puberty, practically indistinguishable from my peers. While I agree, that oestrogen and testosterone should not be offered to under 16′s, I believe that preventing a child from experiencing what they feel to be the ‘wrong’ puberty is vital for their future mental health.
What is the opposite of light? What is the opposite of cold? What is the opposite of monkey? What is the opposite of Brazil? Now, what is the opposite of Girl? Why? Why does our society have the concept that male and female are somehow ‘opposites’? Julia Serano coined the term ‘Oppositional Sexism’ to describe this idea that male and female are ‘opposite’, and the assigning of behaviors, modes of dress, ‘suitable’ job categories, and other activities to one grouping or the other and then enforcing these assignments through societal sanctions, up to and including violence, on the transgressors.
Also in this issue I keep hearing the mantra, repeated over and over, ‘children can’t choose to be the opposite gender!’ Why not? At least 97% of them surely, definitely, unequivocally chose to be the gender that matches their bodies’ sex! And at such young ages, too! Before they start kindergarten, boys settle into building (and destroying) forts and battlefields in the sandbox, while girls build homes and communities. Who taught them? Did you parents carefully instruct your children in their correct gender roles, with gold stars for choosing the right clothing/toys/play activities — training them like some circus animal until they ‘got it right’?
Or did they just sort of fall into it without a whole lot of guidance from you? Why can’t they chose to be what they are inside? Because you won’t let them? And are you doing this for their benefit, or for yours?
Hazumu Osaragi
To Sarah and EG:
The transition to the other gender happens around age 16, if the youth decides he/she wants to live as the opposite gender. So, yes, Sarah, the hormone blocker simply delays the onset of puberty, and the decision to take estrogen/testosterone happens later. And, EG, infertility only occurs with Stage 2 of the treatment (taking estrogen/testosterone), so this decision is not made when the child is 10, but typically at around age 16.
Wow, This is the topic that is close to my heart. I knew when I was in elementary school that I did not fit in with the normal boys. Every moment I could I took the brief time to be myself. Greatly conflicted. considering myself “BAD” in my parent and Gods view. My parents would not listen. Told Dont be a “FAG or Sissy”. I would have given anything for my parents to listen. Allow puberty to not happen. My Voice and body are now more female but only after plenty of surgery. I live Full time as a woman now but feel great sadness at the youth I lost being a “male”
To me the snag in this situation is that the hormones render a person infertile. So regardless of what decision the child makes later, they won’t be able to have children.
The decision of what gender to live as is an incredibly complex one I’m sure, but even if that were easy, can a 10-year-old say “This is worth me never having biological children”? I don’t think so.
I have to agree with Treespeed that it would seem rash to allow any permanent changes until the children grow into adults. Children and teens are just not mature enough yet to make such a life-changing decision.
My understanding from the NPR story was that these transgender youth are taking hormone blockers which delay puberty – but stopping treatment would allow them to resume their progression towards puberty in their birth gender. Or, as adults, they could decide to take opposite-sex hormones which would then be irreversible.
My opinion on this issue is colored by the fact that I had an adult friend who identified as gay and then as transgendered, and even started working towards changing his gender. Then after a few years he changed his mind. I’m not saying that these kids shouldn’t be allowed to make up their own minds, there are certainly many genetic and psychological components to gender identity, but maybe waiting until after the tumultuous teenage years might be a good idea before any permanent changes are made. There is a reason why make kids wait until they are 18 to get tatoos.
I agree that it must be hell to have a body that your mind doesn’t agree with. I say that Robert and Danielle are doing the right thing for Violet. I think by puberty kids really get a sense of themselves and have the right to delay puberty. I was a tomboy and always wished I could have had some of the same choices that boys did, but I never didn’t want to be a girl – there’s a big difference.
So what do people believe is at the root of the desire to be the opposite sex (in re your remark about “liberal minded” people’s not believing in transgenderism)? Do they think it is societal pressure? However, societal pressure generally moves in the opposite direction – to be a tougher boy or a frillier girl. So to what do people attribute the transgender leaning? I must be missing something. Anyway, this is interesting. I wonder when an individual can declare his or her gender identity and be mature enough to really mean it? I would guess that by ten most people would have a sense about which gender they identify with more. My son has a friend who is biologically a girl (they are in first grade) but insists she is “a guy.” She lives the part to a tee. Her parents roll with it – she’s a typical “boy” in clothing, haircut and activities. Her older sister is a typical girl. I wonder whether this is a phase or the real deal. I have always thought I was a girl and felt comfortable being a girl then a woman. I think it would hell to be in the “wrong” body. I really feel for these kids and families.