Babies R Us tells breastfeeding mother to get out
A reader sent us a link to this post on Consumerist. Basically, a woman shopping at a California Babies ‘R’ Us tried to use a nursing chair, “for its intended purpose, she was told that she was not allowed to breastfeed on the sales floor.” Apparently, this is illegal under California law. Something similar happened in New York at the Times Square Toys ‘R’ Us; that time, the ACLU got involved, since the New York law is similar to the one in California
I’ve nursed at Babies R Us (SF Bay Area suburbs) and never had problems. In fact, 3yrs ago I nursed in one of the glider/rocker floor models (super comfy, I wished I had room at home for one)for prob. over 20min (new baby-slow eater). No employees ever said anything to me. Possibly, someone asked if I was ok or needed anything (not sure it was so long ago). I didn’t even know they had a separate room for nursing. It was probably just the one employee that had a weird hangup about it. I’ve nursed several times at Babies R Us, sometimes walking around & shopping & no one’s ever told me it was a problem.
I always wonder if the “Breastfeeding Mothers should be discreet” folks also think that anyone eating should be discreet. I swear you see some folks out in public shovelling in food like they’ve been starved for a month, now that’s disgusting. When my wife was breastfeeding I kept waiting for someone to say something or even give us an evil eye and all I remember is everyone just smiling when they saw her. It’s too bad that this nonsense is what we always hear about.
Looks like the formula companies in all their cornsyrup splendor win another battle! Not a surprise; it was in their backyard. They’ll likely win the war at this rate, but it won’t be without a fight. To all you bottle bangers that can’t find the beauty in a woman nursing her infant: can you please take your child suckling that fake nipple into some dark room where I don’t have to look at it? Or at least cover that trainwreck of a cultural practice with a blanket so I don’t have to witness it day in & day out? Here’s a compromise- if you’re going to nurse your baby in public with a fake boob, use the silicone implanted one tucked inside your bra.
Also, for those of you talking about the need to be discreet, the woman who was told to leave wrote that she was completely covered up.
I was always for public nursing, but felt that women could be discreet about it. Now that I am a nursing momma, my perspective has totally changed. I bought a baby au lait cover, but my baby hated it. I tried to time trips out so that I would be able to go home to nurse, but that was problematic and depressing. I tried going to the bathroom, but would you want to eat in a public bathroom? After nursing in public a few times, I got over it. I haven’t gotten any comments, and honestly I don’t think people notice most of the time. Actually, it’s more noticable when I try to hide it!
As for protecting the merchandise…I’ve seen people eating and drinking in those chairs at babies-r-us without being disturbed. The chiars on the floor are generally show pieces anyway, since they get messed up from peopel sitting in them, carts and strollers ramming them, and small children playing on them.
I am sorry, but I really doubt that they were worried about them ruining the merchandise. I see people sitting on those chairs and putting their dirty shoes on the ottomans and nobody says anything. Plus, one time I was in Macy’s and needed to nurse my son, and not only did they let me sit on the furniture in the furniture department, they were super nice and asked me if I wanted a glass of water.
In any case, the way the California law is written, if a woman has a right to be somewhere, then she has a right to breastfeed there. Women have the right to sit on those chairs. (Which, by the way, are floor models, which are not intended for sale. Re the dirty shoes.)
I, too, wonder if the issue wasn’t so much the being in public but the use of a nursing chair that was a piece of merchandise and not intended for use by customers. I think referring to the chair’s “intended purpose” is a little disingenuous in this context; they sell spoons and feeding dishes too, and if I tried to use them for their “intended purpose” without actually *buying* them they’d also ask me to cut it out.
That said, I’ve nursed in places that were at least as public as Toys R Us in Times Square. I have to admit that with this last pregnancy I used a Hooter Hider (didn’t bother my baby although I know it bothers some babies) but for me it was less out of a need to hide my hooters and more self-consciousness about the state of my abdomen after forty years and two pregnancies! I kind of think anyone who’s in Babies R Us and is too squeamish to see a woman nursing is in for a world of hurt, but that’s just me.
I bought one of those Hooter Hider nursing covers. I tried it once with my daughter and she screamed and kind of pinched me. It makes sense. If I were eating and someone threw a sheet over my head I’d be pretty freaked out too. I now use said cover when I pump at work.
Laundry and Children – I love the idea that people who have a problem with it should put a blanket over their heads! My son would never tolerate being covered up when I nursed him, and I don’t think I would like to eat with something draped over my head either!
It sounds like you find it impolite for people to nurse in public- it’s something you tolerate because it’s the right thing to do, but you’d be much happier if mothers took it elsewhere. I see it as perfectly normal, and I think it’s just as strange to expect it to be hidden as it would be to expect people to leave the room every time they reach into their pocket, take a sip from a water bottle, or kiss their baby.
It baffles me that anyone says anything to nursing mothers in public. I nursed my kids in public all the time–restaurants, malls, libraries, etc. and no one even looked askance at me. Most people probably didn’t even notice, or care, but occasionally I would get the “right on!” wink or nod from older women. That was kinda cool.
I breastfed my son outside of Cinderella’s castle at Disney World. Now that is public. It didn’t bother me a bit. Trust me, my breastfeeding is a lot less disruptive than my kid screaming his head off. If it offends you, put a blanket over your head.
I think moms should be able to feed their hungry kids whenever they need to, whether from breast or bottle. I always nursed my twins in public if they were hungry (once I became comfortable with breastfeeding), but I can see Milky’s point. She wasn’t just sitting in public, but on merchandise for sale. You wouldn’t go to a furniture showroom, and sit down at a dining table there to eat. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with eating in public.
The last time I went to Babies R Us I ended up nursing in my car because the “Mother’s Room” wreaked of crap and urine. It was digusting. My daughter looked at me like “Really?”
When I informed a sales associate about the state of the room she just gave me a vacant look.
I’ve nursed everywhere – not because I necessarily wanted to, but because my baby was hungry and pissed and needed to eat immediately.
While I support breastfeeding anywhere anytime (and certainly did this myself), I think not wanting people to eat or drink while sitting on the furniture for sale is a valid issue, I mean, I wouldn’t want to buy a chair that had already been used for feeding, from a breast, bottle or tupperware bowel. Stuff spills! I personally love seeing babies nursing (it’s so sweet) but I think you need to sort of respect where you are seated – milk and spit-up does spray! I would be annoyed to see this mother nursing on the display (or for sale) chair, I would think there are plenty of other comfortable (and public, who cares) places where she isn’t going to potentially dirty the product. Who wants to buy that chair now? A lot of stores don’t want customers eating or drinking inside around the merchandise, isn’t this kind of similar?
“Because to tell the truth, bottle feeding is more offensive to me…and I would rather not see a baby with a bottle in its mouth.”
Ladies and Gentlemen! Presenting the exact type of idiotic and judgmental sentiment that is causing the huge breastfeeding backlash! Congratulations.
Also, to the author of this article, I understand you think it is inappropriate to nurse at the ToysRUs in Times Sq. However, what if a tourist is in Times Sq and her baby needs to eat? She would probably want to find a place that looked relatively child-friendly. Seems to me that ToysRUs would be a good location. (Yes, I hate Times Sq also, but many people travel with kids, and this is a typical tourist spot. Where else would a nursing mother go – the Marriott Marquis? It takes 15 minutes just to get in an elevator to the lobby!)
I agree with mamaT. The mothers’ rooms at BabiesRUs are really not ideal. They are often crowded and too hot. My son would not nurse if he was overheated, so when I was in BabiesRUs, I would use a nursing chair on the sales floor. (I also live in Calif.) It is funny, but I always had sales people come to me to tell me that there was a room available. They never told me to leave, but I always felt that is what they meant. I found that weird, because, living in San Francisco, I was able to nurse my son anywhere, and nobody ever said anything to me, except in BabiesRUs, where you would think they were more tolerant. (I once had to nurse my son immediately – he woke up and was very cranky – and the only place I could find was a couch in the furniture department at Macy’s. I was very self-conscious, but nobody was rude, and one of the sales people actually asked me if I wanted a glass of water.)
If we want to encourage more women to nurse, we really need to make it comfortable for them.
Obviously the author (of this article, not Consumerist’s) has never been in one of the “mother’s rooms.” I have been to only two of their stores, and each had an ugly, cramped, and stinky room with a diaper pail overflowing. That’s if some mom hadn’t locked herself in it to begin with.
It is legal to breastfeed in public, and if my baby is hungry I will feed him then and there. It’s much less about my right to breastfeed, but about my baby’s right to eat. “Mother’s rooms” only serve to marginalize and discourage breastfeeding moms.
Honestly, I don’t think it matters what people think or prefer, the fact is: the law (in California and most U.S. states) protects a woman’s right to breastfeed wherever and whenever she wants. Many people fought long and hard for that right. I am glad that there are, in some places, private spaces available to breastfeeding women who are more modest or shy, but that does not mean that breastfeeding women (like me and others who have posted here) should be sent to bathrooms or behind curtains because some people are offended by our choice to feed our children naturally. Do a google search and you will find that across the nation women who breastfeed our children are sometimes harassed in public for doing so (I have personally been harassed at a mall be security guards, at a Target by an employee, and – no joke – at a Motherhood Maternity store by an employee). At a moment when we know that breastfeeding provides superior nourishment for babies and protects them from many illnesses and even decreases the chance of SIDS by something like 80%, I am shocked and disappointed that we live in a culture in which women are so regularly shamed for doing in public what we agree to be better for babies. Is it not possible that some women might choose to breastfeed less, less often, or stop sooner due to this cultural environment? Think it through — we all benefit from provided support and respect for women who breastfeed, wherever and whenever they / we want.
I never felt comfortable nursing in public like that. To me it was more of a quiet moment and I preferred to be in a less busy place. I’ve nursed in front of my godchildren at my friend’s house, but not in front of strangers.
Sometimes the only option is to breastfeed in a very public place. It has nothing to do with wanting to, you just have to. And you shouldn’t have to go to a “special room” to do it. Does the bottle feeding mom have to go to the “special room”? Because to tell the truth, bottle feeding is more offensive to me (I know that there are cases where breastfeeding is not possible and I understand that) and I would rather not see a baby with a bottle in its mouth.
I never understand what the BFD is. I nursed my daughter in the small mammal house at our local zoo last week. As I sat on the bench in plain view (not the nips–just the mama/daughter pair) I felt a certain kinship with the smaller mammals.
Why does anybody care about this? It’s just a boob.
I nurse in public (without a blanket, gasp!) and I hope that in doing so kids who pass by will get used to seeing such a thing. You know, so they grow-up to be adults WHO UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S NATURAL AND NO BIG DEAL.
And adults who are offended can bugger off, frankly.