Do You Take Your Baby Bar Hopping?
New York Citysearch writes:
“You had a baby. It happens. Despite consensus among suburbanites, you’re not obligated to shed every aspect of your former self. In New York, at least, you can maintain some semblance of a social life.” Then they offer a list of 5 “baby friendly” watering holes, where “in addition to spending quality time together, you can teach your child important life lessons–like how to squat above a toilet seat.”
Right.
It’s one thing if these bars are exclusively for parents and kids. “Baby Loves Bourbon” or something. One bar, Floyd, welcomes the “strollerati” during Happy Hour. The problem is that babies are not always pleasant drinking companions. If I’m at a bar knocking back a few and somebody’s kid starts screaming, my strong preference is that said child not be present. And if you want to go grab a few brewskis, why not get a baby sitter? As a commenter on Gothamist puts it, “I dont [sic] bring a six pack to your day care, so dont [sic] bring your babies to the bar.”
Let me put on my self-righteous, “parenting the planet” hat for a moment: Personally, I don’t like the idea of babies being around excessive alcohol consumption. Whether or not someone is responsible for themselves is besides the point. Drunk people sometimes do dumb things. Why should your little bundle of joy get a pint of Guinness dumped on their head because some dope is upset that Brett Favre threw another interception? Or get hit with a piece of flying barstool when a different dope (or even the same dope) is mad that somebody looked at them funny? Now, let me take that hat off: it’s up to you. Live and let live.
The other part of the “babies in bars” thing that I find irritating is the idea that, “you can maintain some semblance of a social life” after having kids. Maybe you can, but maybe you can’t. When you have a baby, things change. You might not get to go out to bars the way you used to. Deal with it.
The flip-side to baby-friendly bars is baby UNfriendly bars. Brooklyn’s Union Hall got a lot of flack back in February for their “no strollers, please” sign. What’s especially irritating about the whining that ensued is the fact that if you can have a “babies welcome” bar, someone else should be able to have a “babies not welcome” bar. (This is similar to my notion that someone should be able to start “Up In Smoke Airlines” to cater to the nicotine crowd.)
How about our readers? Do you bring your kids to bars? Do you mind if other people do?
Source/Image: Citysearch
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As someone who’s been to the Floyd’s Happy Hour, I can attest to the fact that this isn’t a smoke filled dive bar where people are making out in the corner.
The happy hour is on a Friday afternoon and a bunch of us new parents just relax and have a beer while the little ones sleep in their strollers. It’s peaceful, friendly and laid back. We talk about parenting things and make new friends. No one is drunk, and it’s generally a wholesome environment. Think networking cocktail party, not animal house.
Brooklyn is such a cool place!
There is a bar near us here in brooklyn that has a really nice sunday morning bagel bar. We would stop by there once in a while and drink a bloody mary, enjoy the sunshine, pet the many dogs that other patrons brought in with them and eat a bagel with our friends. We enjoyed this, our daughter enjoyed this, the dogs loved it and the delightful and sweet bartender offered to babysit for us sometime. So what’s the problem?
I think a lot of people are assuming that parents are taking their infants into seedy establishments at 10 PM and propping the tykes up on the bar where they’re less likely to be sloshed by the beer bong. Seriously? Can’t we as adults work from the basic assumption that we’re all doing the best we can. I would think most casual bars would welcome parents precisely because they almost always come in at a time of day when business is slow, they don’t get wasted and make a mess, and they clear out when the place starts filling up. Honestly that was what shocked me about Union Hall, who turns away business during the practically barren hours between 2 and 5 o’clock? Grouchy Grinches, that’s who.
Bottom line is responsible parental behavior and what is good for you and your family. Any business can do and say they are Kid friendly to bring in business, that does not mean it’s so!
Gasp, I also think Disney and Sesame Street are inappropriate for young children.
I question popular mainstream parenting practices and going to a bar with a baby fits into this new mainstream way for bars to drum up business.
Maybe i never really liked bars anyway, too many alcoholics hang out there, and babies and carriages to fall over when drunk! ;->
OK, I think people were looking at this 2 different ways. One group thought the article was talking about adult-type bars (which I still don’t think allow kids under 21). The other was thinking of casual restaurant-type places.
I think it has less to do with exposing your kid to alcohol than about choosing a place that would be appropriate and fun for a kid.
Dewi, the Brooklyn bars in the article actually are more like the family friendly European pubs than the scary scary BARS you are thinking of. Parts of Brooklyn have become meccas for young families. Here’s the link: http://newyork.citysearch.com/roundup/43513
I live in Miami, and we have a lot of restaurants, bars, and pubs that have great outdoor seating. So, do I take my kids to bars? YES. I suppose I do. Not Mansion, Twist, Buck 15 or Purdy Lounge, all of which would be inappropriate and probably not a lot of fun for a kid (though my 2-year-old does LOVE to get her groove on), but there are several places that are not only acceptable, but EXCEPTIONAL to go to at an early enough hour of the day or evening. For what it’s worth, I do like to have a beer at 3 in the afternoon (or *gasp* even 2!), and I also like a bloody mary for brunch on the weekend once in a while.
And my final point, I promise. If you’re concerned about your kids witnessing adults practicing irresponsible, unhealthy, overindulgent behavior while you’re out and about in the world, I certainly hope you’re not frequenting Chili’s, Cheesecake Factory, or fast food restaurants with them.
This is not European Pubs that are family friendly.
He wrote about BROOKLYN, NY bars!
This Is not about a mothers group meeting up in a bar like
tonic & tots group.
Austin described friendly restaurants that serve liquor with picnic tables out back and kids of all ages running around.
The poster wrote about Bars! Remember them?
The dark place people go to to get drunk, hook up, a place for adults who want to feel better by feeding their addiction!
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Thank you, Austin mama! I can’t believe how many people wrote (the poster included) assuming that everyone in bars is out of control and that all bars are anti-family. The bar I went to before kids is the same one I frequent now — not a hook-up/clubby scene at all, but very mellow and restaurant-ish. I liked the kids there even before I had one of my own. I think many Americans have a drinking problem (it seems the poster has run into some of them) because they weren’t taught how to deal with alcohol in a healthful way; when it’s a part of my family life, there’s no excess, and I think my kids will learn from my good example. Pubs are a great place for community and neighborhood togetherness. So there!
Austin mama, I think it depends where in Europe you are. I used to live in France, and in most restaurants (even casual ones), you would hardly ever see a child. If someone did bring one in, they got the major stink eye. (Dogs were OK, though.) I don’t think this is a good thing. Kids should be a part of society.
What I personally object to are people who think they can bring their kids anywhere, even places that are not meant for children. Usually, kids don’t have a good time, so it is selfish on the parents part. (I knew a couple that always had to prove a point that they could bring their daughter anywhere, even fancy restaurants where she would scream. I don’t blame the poor child, what kid wants to sit down in an environment like that?) The kind of place you are talking about sounds kid-friendly, so of course it would be OK.
Draughthouse (#1), Scholz Biergarten, Dog and Duck Pub, and Billy’s on Burnet!
Hey! Austin mama! Where are these bars in Austin?? I need to know!
Not all bars are created equal. The puritanical poppycock that some of you guys are spouting off assumes that they are. In Europe pubs and beer gardens are VERY family friendly. I happen to live in a town that has at least three family friendly outside beer gardens where dogs and children are welcomed. It’s common to have the picnic tables filled with little ones coloring, chasing each other and other patron’s dogs, or snuggled in baby carriers. I couldn’t think of a more enjoyable way to spend a evening with friends and family. The fact that great beer from local breweries is served definitely doesn’t hurt! These are not your grandfather’s smoked filled bars of yesteryear.
Wow, judgemental much? Obviosly every woman who goes to a bar or pub in the afternoon with some friends is an alchoholic. I’m so sorry that my two month old sleeping in her stroller is bothering you.
As a side question, why are you even in a bar at three in the afternoon, do you have a job?
It would never even occur to me to bring my baby into a bar. I thought the 18/21 year old limit depending on living in the U.S or Canada was pretty clear in forbidding children and babies from being brought in with you.
It’s so much more comfortable for everyone to be in a child friendly environment, than trying to make every environment suitable for a child.
I agree with GPGirl, go out to eat with friends or another family and the kids, or better yet, save money and cook together at your friends house, invite a few families over with their kids and eat pizza and plenty of good beer!
Put all the kids to bed together with a movie.
The kids love it!
It really feels good to grow with your children, and otehr families instead of making kids fit into your old drinking days lifestyle.
um, I thought it was illegal to be in a bar if you are under 21.
I agree that us parents have to live with the fact that we cannot have the same social life we had before. A local restaurant has family night, so we take advantage of that. Since we now have 1 income and 3 people (as opposed to 2 incomes and 2 people before) we rarely hire a babysitter. However, I love doing family things, so I in no way feel that my life is over. I kind of feel that if it is really a priority to keep the same social life, you probably shouldn’t have kids yet.
Bad parental judgement comes to mind.
Alcoholic parents have been doing this for eons.
My husband remembers this experience well as a very young boy leaning to sit on a bar stool with his father.
Those are not happy childhood memories for children.
What age do they stop bringing the kids to a bar If you have not worked on developing a new way to socialize with other adult friends that’s also appropriate for children to be in your company.
I believe having a baby gives us the rare opportunity to grow-up and expand your way of socializing. Not continue our drinking and hanging our in bars!
Find new ways that are appropriate for the child. Parents needs to be selfless at times for the child’s sake and emotional well being. Schlepping them to bars so ma & pa can drink is sad and an indication to the child that the parents need to think about an AA group, instead of a bar that allows baby carriages.