So what did the President say about the singer known for playing Daisy Duke, when Lauer shoved a copy of US Magazine in the face of the man trying to, oh, we don’t know, fix the economy, restore a little dignity to the Constitution, and lead the country in a new direction as promised? Did Obama really imply that Simpson is fat?
No, no, of course he didn’t.
At first, NBC published a transcript of the interview, which had Obama saying Simpson was “losing a weight battle.” Shamey, shamey. Then a bunch of freaked out bloggers rewatched the video and Matt Lauer has come out to explain what really happened. Turns out, Obama (reading the headline in front of him) said that Simpson is “in a weight battle.”
Moving on …probably wishing he had new sexy curves to hide behind, Tom Daschle’s got bigger tax problems than new Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. Daschle only recently paid the taxes he owed on a free car. He also deducted too much for charitable giving. We’re trying to keep hope alive and all, but this feels a little icky.
Promises, promises. Michael Phelps pinky swears that he’ll never ever smoke pot again. The 23-year-old swimming sensation was embarrassed by a photo of him ripping hits off of a bong. A few years ago, he was sentenced to probation for drunk-driving — which he also promised to never do again. Okay, drunk-driving, caught smoking pot … meth comes next, right? Or is it sex in a public bathroom — we can never keep the celebrity self-destruction sequence straight.
This soldier may never go sky-diving again. During a tandem private lesson, the guy’s instructor died in mid-air. He managed to land without getting injured. Unfortunately, the instructor, who had a heart attack, could not be revived.
The nut doesn’t fall far from the Dick Cheney. Slate has uncovered and analyzed Elizabeth Cheney’s senior thesis from college. She, too, thinks the Constitution is quaint.
One study has found that a third of all American kids take vitamins and most don’t even need them. We have ignored tons of advice to give babies iron drops and, more recently, Vitamin D. And we’re feeling vindicated. What about you?
Bringing this post around full circle and leaving off with whales. Specifically, older whale moms. Turns out, they make better mothers. (Sure, but they’re also super competitive and all they want to talk about is preschool applications for their “brilliant” and “creative” and “advanced deep-sea swimming” little calves. Younger whale moms aren’t as uptight.)
Photo: US Magazine