The Mother’s Day Minefield: Presents from Hell
I am always on the lookout for those “worst gift ever” Mother’s Day stories, because I know that more often than not, I usually need to make an emergency trip back to the store to exchange that Chia mother’s head some slick clerk talked me into.
And don’t even get me started on car wax. Apparently it’s not as appreciated as the good people at Turtle Wax would have you believe. Honestly, who knew?
But this year, there’s a whole new breed of “worst gift” ideas, and some of them left even this moron shaking his head: Who buys this stuff for Mother’s Day?
Charlene over at Shine compiled a great list, with Jillian Michael’s “30 Day Shred” at the top.
“Instead of viewing it as a way to kickstart a new fitness plan, she may see it as hint that you’re not happy with her body.”
This seems like a no-brainer. Does anyone really want to workout on Mother’s Day — other than utilizing the muscles required to shoo away the children or lift that champagne flute?
And then there’s the personal trainer idea. Again, unless the mom in your life specifically advises you to go buy her some time at the gym, I’m guessing you’re not going to be having sex for a very long time if this is under the Mother’s Day Tree that the good people at Hallmark talked you into buying.
But my favorite so far, in the world of worst gifts ever: Nothing.
Do dads really do this? Think that if your wife, the mother of your kids, is not your mom, then, well, you can save a few bucks? Dude, even Turtle Wax is better than this idea.
Does anyone go the “nothing” route?
Flowers. No matter how many times I tell my husband I don’t like flowers on Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day or our anniversary ( I call them “obligation flowers”) this is what I get. This year he gave them to me and his mom at the same time. Her Walmart bouquet was actually bigger than mine. Heh, thanks.
Can I get a do over? And I was going to get him an iphone for Dad’s day. He just got downgraded to novelty barware.
I have a rule. Grandparents get their due the Saturday before Mother/Father’s Day and Sunday is immediate family time. Too many people especially at a restaurant is too exhausting and no fun.
After years of trying to conceive, I was looking forward to my very first Mother’s Day when my twins were 5 months old.
My husband chose the nothing route. We both were exhausted as relatively new parents of twins. My MIL, BIL and his girlfriend were staying with us. The kids woke us up at 5 am, and then we argued for 30 min. I cried for about an hour, and he didn’t say Happy Mother’s Day because he was mad at me. Then around 7 am, I had to pretend I wasn’t upset as I faced our house guests. The rest of the day got a little bit better, but not by a whole lot. I know I should have been thrilled just to be a mom for the first time, but I was pretty pissed off. I’m actually still kind of upset about.
Love the worst gifts angle! And of course the worst gift category is highly subjective.. here are my worst gifts:
1. salon gift cert for bikini wax
2. vacuum cleaner
3. class sign up for Mommy and Me pottery
Dana: Ha ha, I think I would prefer nothing too.
Seriously, I can’t stand Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day and the ilk. They cause me more stress because we have to make sure that my mother and his mother and all the grandmothers get their visits and their dues. Almost as bad as Christmas.
Rather than my own special day, which I have to share with all the other mothers, I would prefer being told/shown on a regular basis that I am loved and what I do for my family is appreciated. And I do get that!
My husband went the nothing route on my very first mother’s day.
His excuse? The baby was too little to make me anything.
The next year, he tried to go all out to make up for the previous year and did the whole breakfast in bed routine…which would have been lovely if he hadn’t dropped the kid off in bed with me at 6AM so that he could go and make breakfast. And then…while I was enjoying my slightly burned pancakes he took the kid to go and make me a card…which also would have been lovely if I hadn’t come downstairs to find my entire kitchen covered in egg shells and pancake batter and the carpet of the living room covered in finger paint…all of which I cleaned up.
After all that, I’d be quite happy with nothing this year.