Mother-to-Be: Save The Baby’s Life, Not Mine
At some point during my last pregnancy, I was talking contingency plans with my homebirth midwife. She told me a funny story about another client who had said that were there to be some medical emergency that came down to choosing between the baby’s life and her own, save her! Save the mom!
My response to my midwife was, “yeah, that sounds about right.”
With that attitude, I started reading this LA Times piece, written by an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at UCLA, Linda Reid Chassiakos.
Chassiakos tells the story of a pregnant woman with a brain tumor who refused life-saving treatment that would have likely killed the 24-week-old fetus growing inside her. Doctors had told her viability for super-premature births is most likely after 28 weeks gestation and after the fetus is at least 2 pounds.
So the mom waited. And waited. Through brain swelling and continued growth of her tumor.
From the LA Times:
To our astonishment — and joy — the comatose woman “hung in” until
the 28th week. At that point, an ultrasound showed the fetus was
probably over the 2-pound mark, and her doctors scheduled the
caesarean. Gasping for air, the child was born at a size and weight
that would give her a fighting chance of life.
Over the next
few days, the new father divided his time between the bedsides of his
wife and his daughter. Neurosurgeons removed much of the mother’s brain
tumor, and the woman regained consciousness within a day. Her tiny girl
did develop lung and gastrointestinal conditions — common to extremely
premature infants — but responded to treatment and continued to grow.
The mother didn’t do as well and died two weeks before the baby was released from the hospital at two months old.
The father is, of course, overjoyed with the little girl. As was the mother for the few weeks of their overlapping lives. But I still think I would have stuck with my original birth/death plan. Save me. Save me!
What about you?
More Posts
Photo: mychildhealth.net
maybe ask your mama if she would want you to save yourself or her grandchild. sometimes things arent meant to be. babies are not strong enough to survive. its an evolutionary thingy im sorta sure.
of course if it comes to a hostage situation where they could take me or my infant the choice is obvious.
My baby, no question, I don’t even have to think about it.Honestly it makes me sick to read about the people who say “save me”. It’s your CHILD, if you would not sacrifice your life for your child’s then I consider you an unfit mother. I can’t even say “I’ll live on in heaven (or wherever) and be happy about my decision.” because I’m an atheist, I know that this life is all I have, but I would give it up in a heartbeat for my son and I would give it up in a moment for any child that I will conceive in the future. Do you not love your children? I noticed someone said “I can have more.” but you can’t have THAT child, that child is dead and gone forever, you can only have another child, a different child. Will you explain to that child that, had she caused you to be in danger, you would have killed her too?
I forgot to say the most important bit – my mum got to live!
My mother was in emergency surgery at about 28 weeks pregnant back in the 70s. Very little chance in those days of such premature survival, but the surgeon still had to get the all-clear from my dad as to whom he should save. Very easy decision as far as Dad was concerned: my mum. Yes, the baby died, but my brother and I are here because of that decision. Also, my dad did not lose his wife, and my elder sister her mother.
Why did you post this? It’s heartbreaking.
When we had this conversation late in the pregnancy, I told my husband that is if came down to me or the baby during birth, pick the baby. My rationale was that I had spent 9 months incubating him and that work better have paid off. My husband was aghast and said, no, I am going to pick you. I don’t know him!
I could almost certainly have another child, and my husband and I can grieve together. There is no question to this in my mind- save me- to love life and be a part of my family another day. To support my spouse in our grief. To create more lives in honor of one’s sacrifice.
My child. Definitely.
Me or my child? My child every time. Me or a fetus? Me.
Save me. A baby needs its mother
The baby, hands down.
Me, I can have more children.
I would like to think I’d save my child.
Well, what needs to be considered is that even with treatment, malignant astrocytomas have a poor prognosis and her chances of surviving for more than a year or two were probably low even if they’d treated her immediately. I’m not trying to belittle her bravery, but it’s one thing if you’re choosing whether not to accept a treatment that offers a genuine chance of living a normal lifespan versus a treatment that will just extend your life for a few more months or maybe a year.
I think that I might choose the baby under those circumstances, unless I had other living children, in which case I might choose the extra months to spend with them.
With my first I would have been 100% save the baby first, but now, with two Littles at home to think about… it would have to be me first. Which is interesting because once I;ve met the baby I would die for it…