Is It OK to Hate Your Kid’s Sport?
Don’t mess with the soccer moms. It might be a bit of a hackneyed sentiment in this post-Palin era, but as Sarah Rain from Delmar, NY, found out when she wrote a post titled “At Least It’s Only 8 Weeks Long” on the local paper’s blog for her town discussing her dislike of soccer season, the vicious soccer mom isn’t gone.
You’d think from the vituperative comments that she’d said she hated her kid or couldn’t be bothered to want to do anything with him at all. What she actually said, quite clearly, is that she believes that kids develop better social skills and autonomy from informal pick-up games, but since that’s not really happening for her son she’s dragging herself through soccer season because she thinks the benefits outweigh the costs, though all the while she’s quietly hoping he doesn’t fall in love with the sport.
“Mustering up the interest in something your child does is a challenge? How self absorbed can one person be?” writes one person, deriding informal games as “a can babysitting your child.”
“The writer
I hate any and all sports. The closest thing to a sport that I enjoy is Iron Chef. However, I am expecting twin boys and it seems like they could possibly enjoy and want to play some sort of sport. I will support them in their efforts but do not expect to enjoy the games. I’m sorry if enjoying sports is considered necessary to be a good parent. I thought being supportive even in the face of something I have no interest in was good enough.
I am not a sports person (beyond my beloved Yankees), but we’ve signed our daughter up for soccer because she loves playing it in the yard with my husband. Who cares if I like it? She does! Which is basically the point, I thought? If it’s something she enjoys and gets something out of (exercise, sportsmanship. . . yadda, yadda), do I really have to like it?
That’s like saying I have to be gung ho about everything my husband does in order to be supportive.
Amanda B. – yep, we are on the same page. Wouldn’t purposefully introduce a loathed sport, but believe me, wouldn’t actively discourage, either, once/if it was discovered.
CV – Then I’d go watch and cheer them on. However, I wouldn’t intentionally sign them up for soccer or wrestling at a very young age. If they discovered one of those sports in elementary or middle school through friends or something and wanted to try them, then sure. But I wouldn’t purposely introduce those sports when they’re really young, that’s all.
Amanda B – but what if your child absolutely fell in love with either of those sports? What then, would you do? (I’m guessing suck it up and thank the stars the season is only X weeks long too, which is what I’d do, and what my parents did do.)
Not liking a sport or activity doesn’t make one a bad parent at all. Now deriding or ignoring a child for either picking a different activity/sport or worse, disliking the parental favorite, that’s a different story altogether. I’ve not experienced this one except as a coach on the sidelines, where parents did nothing but slam the sport that their (extremely talented at said sport) child loved, didn’t celebrate his goals, were never at team dinners, etc. That child just wanted to play the sport he adored, and excelled at to boot.
Why not get your child involved in an activity you enjoy too? If you don’t like soccer, have your child try baseball or swimming, or try other activities like cooking classes and art classes. I love most sports but can’t stand wrestling or soccer, for example, so I don’t think I’d steer a child toward those things.
Not liking a particular sport or activity doesn’t make someone a bad parent.
I figure it better to have a parent who quietly drags themselves to an extracurricular activity FOR their child, all whilst disliking said activity, than one who either ignores the child for liking something they don’t, or for enrolling a child in an activity that they love, but the child doesn’t.
I’ve often said I’ll likely have a child who likes something I know nothing about and don’t have any desire to do, as THAT was the main story of my life growing up. And know what? My parents trudged along, and I was none the wiser til much much much later (adulthood) that BTW, Mom hated soccer, and Dad loathed volleyball.
It isn’t selfish. I’d call it more selfless, on my parents part.