Strollerderby
5 Things You Swore You’d Never Say to Your Kids
Before we become parents, it is easy to think of all the things we’ll never do or say to our kids. Ever.
Well, nothing like real-life to make certain phrases come tumbling out of our far-from-perfect mouths. Here are 5 choice parenting statements we might wish we’ll never say, but often do:
1. When I was your age… fill in the blank here (I walked 3 miles in the snow, I watched black and white television, I had to empty the dishwasher)
2. You don’t know how easy you have it … related to the above statement and variations on “You are so ungrateful!”
3. I can’t believe you’re acting like this… clearly a cry for help among desperate parents everywhere. This statement is so ineffectual it makes you want to curl up with the poor tired parent and offer them a quilt-cuddle. We’ve all had days when the kids are acting out and nothing, nothing, makes them shape up.
4. Do you want Mommy to go to a home??… Ok this isn’t really something my Mom ever said to me, but it’s something I say to my kids. It’s horrid and threatening and doesn’t even work. But the concept of an institutional respite for tired mommies makes me smile. And a smiling mommy is often a much kinder, gentler mommy.
5. Now look what you did… This is the height of blame and passive aggression and yet, we often find ourselves saying it. While there’s no crying over spilled milk, a toddler dumping a glass of kool-aid on white carpet, is definitely worthy of a good weep. The kids can’t usually help all the spilling and messing and generally chaotic wrecking when they’re young… but sometimes understanding this doesn’t help. Not one bit.
Parents are imperfect, if websites are to be believed, and the best we can muster sometimes is to laugh at our own Very Serious Proclamations.
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12 Comments
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 am“How many times do I have to tell you??” and “That’s what happens when you (fill in a broken rule.)”
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amSee you at #4! Sounds wonderful to me.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 am“I’m going to sell you to the Gypsies!”
Oh wait…was that just my childhood?
But I just know it’s going to slip out of my mouth at some point and time…probably because it always worked on me when I was a kid.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 am“Why do you hate your mother? Answer me!”
leahsmom commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 am“Because I am the adult, and you are the child.”
What? It seems like a good reason to me!
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amAren’t you already IN a home, Rachael? That kind of home, I mean.
“Wait until your father gets home …” Only I insert “mother.”
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI just caught myself saying, “if your friend jumped off a bridge, would you, too?”
Turning into our mothers… Next thing we know, we will be spitting on tissues and wiping our kids faces with them.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amDon’t you know there are starving children in (insert name of country) who would love to have this food for dinner?
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amthats why we cant have nice things!
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amThe older my kids get, the more of the psycho mom things I say to them. It’s genetic, I swear.
Dwtintx commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amBecause I said so is the one I HATED when I was a kid. My daughter is only 21 months, so I haven’t said it yet, but I think it has to be coming.
Treespeed commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amDo you want me to give you something to really cry about?
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