Strollerderby
Anatomically Correct: Do You Tell Your Kids the Right Words for their Private Parts?
Whatever your opinion about what little girls and boys are made of, this is proof positive that many of our small people once armed with the proper (or improper) names for their boy or girl equipment, loooove to yell them out (especially if Grandma or a new friend is sitting nearby). It’s interesting to consider the variants on good parenting.
One good parent’s bottle is another good parent’s breast… one’s homeschool is another person’s private school. But here’s a funny thing: How do you know what age to tell your kids the proper names for their private parts? Or is it better to leave off all the science and just surrender to gentle and more socially acceptable approximations?
Even if you use cute-isms like “down there” or “flower,” kids of a certain age will always manage to infuse the word with enough giggling meaning that most people will ascertain what exactly is being discussed. In general, I’m a believer in supplying children with the right tools for understanding themselves and this includes the correct words for their private parts.
But sometimes I regret this, when the evening’s giggle-athon begins around dinner time and they laughingly announce loudly that their sibling is a “vagina-head.”
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11 Comments
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amWe use real terms in our house. My, now five year old, when talking about his birth will state that he “came busting out” of my vagina!!
I have friends that have a daughter and use “yoni” for vagina.
bookmama commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amWe’re not there yet, either, but right now, we just call the entire area her “bits” or her “girly bits.” Why? Because usually we’re talking about it when we’re cleaning her during a diaper change, or washing in the bath, or trying to get rid of diaper rash, and it’s not just her vagina that is involved – it’s all her bits in that area. She’ll learn the proper names for everything when she starts naming all her other body parts. I’m trying to overcome my Catholic upbringing/modesty about it, but really, it’s sort of difficult!
Dwtintx commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amWe’re not there yet with our daughter, but I’m leaning toward “girl parts” as well, for the same reasons as Amy and Andrea. Why does an otherwise lovely body part have to have such an ugly name?
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI tried to tell the real names…they are down with ‘penis’….they think it is a funny word anyway.
Vagina was transformed into ‘Bah-china’ by my 3 year old and that is now shortened to ‘china’ and we have given up and go with that.
Close enough right.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 ammy wife is a DCFS worker and she’s had to wade through too many interviews with children who can’t say exactly where they were touched or with what because they lack the proper vocabulary. We want to be sure that our children know the proper names of all their parts, and aren’t afraid to use them. Even if it does mean that some evenings out we have to deal with our 2 year old asking everyone if they have 2 nipples, too.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI’m with you, Amy – we use “girl parts” too, and for the same reason.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI’m not sure what I think. I grew up with all the stupid nicknames but learned them eventually. Not there yet, so I won’t sweat it.
Back when I was first dating my now-husband, I was hanging out with his mom and 2-year-old nephew Jimmy. Jimmy had his shirt off and was pointing to his chest, saying “freckle, freckle”. Grandma tells him the correct term for those was “nipple.” So Jimmy turns to me, points, and says “Tina, you got BIG nipples!” That story spread like wildfire, and I was initiated into the family right then and there.
mnijtnc commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amWe just use the correct terms, and my 4-year-old is no longer all that fascinated by the whole thing. My 22-month-old, however:
She likes to make up new versions of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,” with other two-syllable words taking the place of “twinkle”: “Mommy, Mommy little star,” “Seatbelt, seatbelt little star,” etc. Well, the other day when I was changing her diaper, she asked what her vagina was called, and I told her. Now she’s walking around singing, “‘Gina, ‘gina little star!” at the top of her lungs. Luckily, it’s not all that understandable to anyone but us.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amMy 4 year old knows that he has a penis. We introduced the word when he was first learning the names of all the body parts. He has eyes, elbows, knees, a penis, toes, ears, etc. It was more my idea than my wife’s. I guess I thought it was less confusing than using pee-pee interchangably for both a body part and a bodily function. You wouldn’t ask your son if he has to go penis in the potty, would you?
AmyinMotown commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amMais oui.
We use “girl parts”. Not because of any issues with her saying or using vagina, and I do explain that that is what her girl parts are called, but because I genuinely hate the word vagina. And I’ve seen the Vagina Chronicles and everything. Still hate the sound of it.
makeitadouble commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI just tackled this over at my blog Rachael. Unlike my sterile upbringing in which the proper medically correct term of penis was euphemistically replaced with sanitary G-rated versions like Tootie, and to a lesser extent Blair, Jo and Natalie, we chose not to use baby-talk or alternative terms with Jack when it came to bodily functions or private body parts; mostly because saying things like, “Jack, do you need to make a wee-wee with your pee-pee on the potty?” made me feel like a French Bathroom Attendant.
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