Strollerderby
Children’s Books You Will Never Read
Why not? Because they’re all fake and have offensive titles.
In honor of Children’s Book Week (which Amy told us about), here is a list of “Children’s Books That Didn’t Make It” from Jokes.com, a site that compiles jokes and comedy videos from assorted funny people.
Accidents Happen: The Story of YOU – This one amuses me because so many people seem to have no problem asking expectant and new parents if their little peanut was planned. I’ve known people who have no problem acknowledging that a second, third, or in Nadya Suleman‘s case, ninth, pregnancy was unintentional. (Actually, Nadya’s was intentional. But that’s not the point.) But they offer this information if they feel like doing so. I can’t imagine asking a question like that. Other folks, though, seem to have no such hang ups. (See also: Oops! You’re Getting a Brother.)
Some Kittens Can Fly – I’m more of a dog person. (Note: please don’t let your children throw your cats.)
You Can Paint Anywhere! – my first child drew on the walls once and never did it again. My second is far more destructive. I wonder if such things are genetic.
Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share – Does anyone else remember the Truly Tasteless Jokes series? They were stunningly offensive (”
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her when she was bad?”), but I had them and so did all of my friends. I didn’t grow up attending Klan rallies either. I went to socialist summer camps and attended “no nukes” rallies. Somehow these slipped through the cracks. I wonder if kids are still reading these books, since they are still on sale. I doubt it, but who knows. (Some examples of what appeared in the books are here; be warned, most of the jokes are very very offensive.)
Source: Jokes.com and Jokes.com
Image: sxc
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