And for that, they are our Crush of the Week --Andrea Zimmerman

Photo: PBS

And for that, he is our Crush of the Week –Andrea Zimmerman

Photo: Sprout Online 

Don’t mow the lawn ’till you’re sixteen,

Be careful not to trampoline,

Avoid the family dog and such

And don’t fall out of windows much.

–since I’m always forgetting to keep my kids from falling out of windows.

But let’s be honest. These aren’t the real summer health hazards. You know the ones I mean, the dangers that keep you awake at night, long after your kids have passed out on their beds, sticky with sweat and ice pops. 

Here are the real horrors of summer:

Sunburn Syndrome: The horrible guilt you feel when you forget to drench your child in sunscreen and s/he comes home from camp an unsightly shade of pink, which only darkens through the dinner hour until your child is writhing in pain and the only thing that will comfort him/her is four hours of unsupervised television. Exacerbated by the “caring” camp counselor who calls after dinner to remind you to apply sunscreen in the morning since it isn’t her (goddamn) job.

Camplessness: Those hidden weeks between school and camp and then between camp and school when your child simply has nothing to do, because camp directors and school directors can’t seem to get their act together to make sure the kids are occupied every single week because, really, what are we supposed to do with them all day?

Viking Phobia: The fear that if you turn on the oven your brain might actually melt, so you let all your “good food” rules slip by the wayside while your kids frolic in the fridge and eat cold hot dogs, ice cream, and Uncrustables for dinner every night.

Polar Disorder: Feeling so hot and drained in your home that you drag your kids anywhere there’s air conditioning–movie theaters, shopping malls, doctor’s offices (they could be sick, right?)…

Bedtime Dysfunction: The inability to resist your kids’ whines of, “We can’t go to bed, it’s still light outside!” Side effects include falling asleep while waiting for the sun to set, leaving the kids to wreak havoc until they pass out near midnight. This invariably results in having to wake them minutes before the camp bus arrives, leaving no time to put on sunscreen before they leave…

Got any hidden summer dangers of your own? Leave them in the comments below!

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The gelatinous blobs have sold like hotcakes to parents who have
struggled to make their children swallow the traditional
pediatrician-prescribed multi-vitamin. The fight to take your fiber
pill becomes a non-entity when you’re promising them, “you can have a
gummy this morning!”

And here’s where I’m going to play the grinch. I’m not going to
argue they’re easier to serve up, but should we really teach our kids
that medicines are like candy?

Like those sweet slim ciggies before them, the gummy meds are
parading something potentially dangerous in a candy form.  Even “good
for you” medicines like vitamins, which can reach toxic levels when overconsumed.  Even those fiber treats, meant to keep your kids from getting blocked up, can cause the exact opposite when they get hold of the bottle of sweets and go to town.

So let’s weigh this out – toxic possible overdose versus a morning fight. Which are you going to pick?

Image: MyCalorieCounter

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The small Texas school has just five hundred thirty-nine students – and thirty-eight of them are twins. There are nine sets in the second grade alone. 

It’s surely a sign of the trend toward twins – spurred on by fertility interventions. These days, one out of every thirty-three kids is a twin (compared to one in eighty back in the day). In 2004, there were more than one hundred thirty two thousand twin births recorded in the U.S. – more than any year prior (that was the latest year data is available on, no word on whether it’s risen in the past five years).

There’s no question there are more of them, but I’d hazard a guess they’re more spread out too. And they’re bringing more attention. Perhaps because because the hot button fertility drug issue (hello Octomom) make these parents an easy mark? The years have also been marked by advancements in medical technologies that keep twin pregnancies going and keep premie duos alive.

And perhaps I’m the anomaly that proves the rule, but I never thought twins were rare. I grew up in the eighties in an even smaller school than Armstrong (there were thirty-four kids in my graduating class). And there was one set of twins in my class, plus half of a set of a twins (his brother failed a year and ended up behind us). My next door neighbors had identical twin boys, I have a set of twin uncles (born in the sixties) plus a set of twin cousins.  None of these kids were born with fertility interventions.

Twins make up seven percent of the population at Armstrong. But they made up eight percent of the population in my third grade class. 

Did you know a lot of twins growing up or are you meeting your first multiples as parents?

Image: MSNBC

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A San Francisco company is offering work-at-home parents a place to work with childcare built right in. Cubes and Crayons offers workers office space with onsite childcare. There’s everything you need for the professional office: conference rooms, Wi-Fi, photo copier, even a kitchen where you can get all the water cooler chatter you miss working from home. Meanwhile, your kids are happily occupied in a swank childcare center, complete with tricycles, a slide, a play kitchen, and stage, and cared for by an attentive staff (ratio is one staff member per three children). Sounds perfect, right?

But you pay for perfection: drop-in rates are $16/hour plus a yearly membership fee that starts at $435. That includes the workspace and child care.

There’s another place to go for free Internet, printing capabilities, and a kitchen. It’s called your home. And if you can find a reliable sitter in your neighborhood, it may cost far less to have someone watch your kid in your own home. Especially if you have more than one kid.

It’s true that working at home can be a lonely, solitary existence. But most of the people I know who work from home don’t make a ton of money. For us, Cubes and Crayons is a luxury we can’t afford. 

But for some, it might be just the ticket. Especially on an as-needed basis, when the sitter calls out sick or you have a last-minute meeting to get to; you can leave the kids behind if you have business elsewhere.

Would you use this service if it was in your neighborhood?

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