Strollerderby
Breaking Up is Hard(er) to Do
While the news from New Hampshire (and I’m talking civil unions here, not primaries) is all good, the word in Massachusetts is that the flip-side of same-sex marriage (i.e. same-sex divorce) is getting complicated. Taxes make it complicated, health insurance makes it complicated, moving out of state makes it complicated, but nothing screws up a gay divorce like children.
When a heterosexual couple splits, the courts most often (for better or worse) give the mother preferential treatment in the custody arrangement. But what happens when there are two mothers? Or no mother at all? And can a non-biological parent be sued for child support?
In most cases, no. And in many cases they can’t get custody, either.
According to this story in the Washington Post, issues of biological and adoptive relationships between parents and children (and siblings) are the key factors in custody decisions. “I tell all my clients: Adopt, adopt, adopt,” says one family lawyer. She claims it’s the only way to guarantee legal custody to your child. A legal Massachusetts marriage– as groundbreaking and historical as it might have been–just isn’t enough.
So many GLBT couples work to consciously create families based on
connections outside biology and the law (and most have done an amazing job of it,
might I add), but when those family structures start to shift, or
dissolve, or crash and burn, well, that’s when things get messy. And when couples join hands and jump into what hetero couples have long experiences as the complex and potentially litigious land of marriage, things get even messier still.
Go Back To Strollerderby
1 Comment
GrrrlfriendJess commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amBreak-ups and divorce is hard enough (as I am learning) but adding inequity to it all is just so…infuriating. I participated in a conference last year in Canada where an attorney spoke about her efforts to change the laws there to allow same-sex couples to both be listed as biological parents on birth certificates with the hope that eventually three or four parents will be able to register as bio parents. It is all very exciting work and hopeful for making responsible, equitable parenting decisions even when relationships end.
Add your take:
Note: Babble is a supportive, diverse community. We encourage a range of opinions,
but any unduly hostile comments will be removed.
Comments are delayed up to 15 minutes
The Walt Disney Company supports Babble as a platform dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent and open conversation about parenting. However, the opinions expressed on this site are those of individual parents/writers and do not reflect the views of Disney. In addition, content provided on this site is for entertainment or informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or safety advice.