Strollerderby
Goodbye Mom Jeans. Helllloooo, Latex Leggings.
We’ve covered the mom jean and the anti-mom jean at length here at Strollerderby. In fact, we’ve zipped that topic all the way up and over, if you know what I mean. But what we haven’t covered quite as thoroughly is the attire that allows you to proudly show off your cellulite, stretch marks and any post-partum lumps and bumps and jelly jiggles you’d normally just tuck under a nice tunic or conservative high-waisted trouser. What we haven’t given you, the people, enough of now comes in lovely latex and is available to roll up and squeeze into…just as soon as you’ve powdered your legs and Vaselined your hoo hoo.
Why would a mother wear latex leggings? Sure, it could be because she is “brave” or “fashion forward.” It could also be because she idolizes the Olsen twins or hippie-chic stylings of Mischa Barton. It could be because she’s trying to convince playgroup that her husband’s way more Marilyn Manson than Paul Giamatti or that she’s way closer on the schema to Victoria Beckham than Kirstie Alley, more Catwoman than Crocs wearer. Perhaps to convey that she herself has a slightly dangerous edge when not doling out hummus sandwiches, far more than those (gasp) Capri Sun artificial juice boxes could ever attest to. Maybe it’s to allude to an envy-stirring rocker goth household rather than a Wiggles-fanatic family.
Or it could just be that she got a gift certificate to Shop Intuition that covered more than the leather fingertip gloves. Whatever the reason, I dare you, mamas. I dare you to shimmy into these babies and wear them out and about with your kids. I promise not to laugh, just give you a little Zen bow, and then pull my entranced kid away from your shiny, shiny thighs.
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6 Comments
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amYou may have noticed. How could you not? It's all we've been talking about. The hoo hoo. The yum yum. The vajayjay. The goodies. Na na. Fanny. Flower. Lady business. Cho Cho. Choo Choo. Hee haw. Lordy sweet gentle and kind infant precious darling
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amPingback from Smells Like Complacency…
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amSometimes parenting and writing about parenting can be an overly serious grim business… what with the worry and the fretting and the studies. Then, along comes a story about a teacher named Budge and all of a sudden, you laugh and forget all about the
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI bet Juliette Lewis has a few pair in her closet.
RachelZ commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amOh, absolutely. Do they come in red?
lionandmagicboy commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amThese would go with Crocs, right?
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