Strollerderby
How to be a Passive Aggressive Parent
With a little bit of effort and a very quick tutorial, you can experience the fear-reducing pleasures of artfully practiced passive aggression in your home. If you practice the art of P.A. with your very young children, you’ll save them years and years of honest and open communication, as well as terrifying confrontational conversations.
Adapted from “Manage Your Spouse Through Feigned Acceptance” the following methods guarantee to get your kid to act properly, especially in public where their bad behavior makes you look like an idiot.
First and most important, make sure to give them very few words to use when describing their emotions. Make sure to cast things as either “bad” or “good” and that when things don’t go our way, we say we’re “disappointed.” The word disappointment casts just the right shade of grey pall over everything that keeps even the most rambunctious child in line.
Second, try and drop hints about what you expect, but never ever come out and say directly what you’d like. For example, “Gee, this kitchen is a huge mess. Too bad someone had to start an earthworm collection over the weekend.” See? Effective!
Third, for children under 2, the best method of keeping them in line is to avoid all physical touch or eye contact, unless they do exactly what you say what you wish they would do.
Remember. Unstated and exceedingly high expectations are the name of the game.
Good luck!
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1 Comment
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amSounds like a former (thank god) boss.
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