Strollerderby
Playground Sexism: Back in the Kitchen, Girls
Every time I go clothes shopping for my daughter, I want to grab a sales clerk by the neck and squeeze. It’s not their fault, I realize, but I still want some answers. Why, I want to ask. Why do you insist on stocking your shelves with tight-legged jeans and open-toes shoes for girls while boys get to select from huge, roomy dungarees meant for climbing and swinging and playing?
It’s not the embroidered mockeries that really get me — the rainbows and butterflies and lollipops or whatever. It’s the actual design — fabric stitched together so tight that it makes playing almost impossible.
It’s a quiet, playground sexism, one that starts at an ungodly early age. Even as toddlers — a time when all kids should be falling off the jungle gym or learning the thrill of jumping off a swing — boys are meant to do; to climb, to jump, to leap, to get dirty and rip the hell out of their clothes. Girls are meant to stand there, twirl their hair and watch.
It is driving me mad.
But look at the design of these clothes. Sandals for girls are almost invariably open-toed (and some even have mini high heels — wtf Target?), and I’ve seen my daughter scrape the tops of her feet at the playground. It’s not a huge injury, sure, but if she were wearing boys sandals, it wouldn’t have happened. (She does now, thank you very much, because boys sandals are close-toed and meant for, you know, playing.)
Now as for the decorative appearance of clothes … it’s irksome. It’s annoying. But I can live with it. Boys get jungle creatures and fire trucks. Girls get butterflies and hearts. Sure. Although it does make me wonder: Do toddler girls not appreciate the zoo? Would they not like to wear a fucking hippo from time to time? Or would that just make them look fat?
But that’s not what gets me. Jeans. Jeans piss me off. At Old Navy recently, I found nothing by tight-legged, “slim” jeans for girls. Rack after rack of tight, slimming jeans. For girls as young as 6 months. Fine. Let an infant wear them. They don’t do much anyway, and if you want to dress your baby as a club slut or one of those ridiculous urban yetis who goes around with tight jeans tucked into Uggs, more power to you. But toddlers — yes, even toddler girls — they need room to move. I actually bought a pair just to try one out and sure enough, my daughter had an impossible time climbing a ladder to the monkey bars. If she had roomier boy jeans, this wouldn’t have happened. So as it was, I told her just to stand there and watch the boys. Like a good girl.
Seriously, screw that.
My kid is a playground menace. If it goes up, she’s going to climb it. If it resembles a slide, she’ll sail down it. If it swings, you can bet she’ll swing with it. If she grows up and wants to be a debutante, fan-freaking-tastic. I’ll buy her a gown and learn to waltz. I don’t have a problem with pink and can’t wait until she can help me sew her dresses. But for now, the kid just likes to play, and play hard. And these Carrie Bradshaw-in-a-romper get-ups don’t let her. Worse, they could injure her. When are we going to realize that young girls like to play just as much as young boys? When is this early, quiet sexism going to end?
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19 Comments
steffmarcusky commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amActually, I sore of felt that guys got the better clothes when I was younger – that I wanted to wear the roomier skater shorts, etc. But then again, I was trying to hide my body – maybe I’m thinking of this post in the wrong way. Anyway, I’m not surprised that a lot of clothing companies appeal to the cuteness of the girl clothes – maybe that’s what sells better. But I wish you luck until I have a girl – then she’ll just have to wear her big brother’s clothes.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amThat was very kind — thanks.
I definitely love a good romper, but have only seen them in younger, infant sizes, not toddler sizes. And yes, bathing suits are the next topic.
bookmama commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amLove the post, of course – half way through it, I realized it must be a Mike Adamick post, even though I didn’t check the byline – but I have a suggestion: rompers. Doesn’t anyone like rompers anymore? Or am I the only one? I effing LOVE rompers – they’re roomy, they’re tidy, I don’t have to worry about them falling down or my kid sticking her hand in the back of her pants…and for some reason, I seem to find them in lots of colors. Zutano has great rompers for boys and girls. Even Old Navy has cute rompers for girls, and in fun prints – we have a fun psychedelic pink orange and yellow swirly number we’re waiting to break out when we go to the beach next week.
Also, I just sent my one year old to bed in a sleeper with an elephant on it (purple with green elephant)! Carters, on clearance.
Now, if you really want to get me riled up, start talking about the v-neck bathing suits and teeny bikinis for toddlers. Crepes Suzette, can we just get a cute one piece with criss-cross straps and some chest coverage?
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amBuy boys’ stuff, especially pants and shoes. If people didn’t buy the uncomfy girls’ stuff, they wouldn’t make it.
A friend of mine is sure that they do this to increase sales by reducing hand-me-downs from sister to brother and vice-versa.
Treespeed commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI see the crappy ultra-girly stuff at some of the stores, but it’s not that hard to find the good stuff too. We shop mostly at Old Navy and Children’s Place and they have plenty of rugged pink capris and I know we picked up pink overalls for our little Spitfire too. We have also bought our fair share of boys clothes too. They wouldn’t be making these clothes if there weren’t parents out there buying them. Though I have to laugh/cringe everytime I see a kid all dressed up in something frilly at the playground. What is the girl supposed to do just pose?
hippygoth commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI have been putting my daughter in Old Navy “boy” jeans pretty much from day 1. I also noticed that the boy shirts are baggier in practically all stores. It’s just so strange. Babies are all shaped pretty similarly. I understand that gender is important to some people – so just make the “boy” t-shirts pink! Also, my husband noticed last shopping trip that girls 6-12 month jeans were more expensive than boys at Old Navy. How’s that for disgusting?
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amAmen!!! Great post! And don’t get me started on the midriffs. WTF indeed?!
mnijtnc commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amFor sandals, try Lands End–they have athletic sandals for boys and girls, and they work for running around at the park, and since they’re water-resistant, they can be worn to the pool too.
They hold up great too–my younger daughter is wearing her big sister’s old pair.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amLast summer, I went to Target to buy some shorts for my then-six-mont-old daughter. I pulled a pair of shorts off a shelf, thought, “Oh, these are tiny, they must be 3 month sze, but they were TWELVE MONTH!” Booty shorts for babies? I was so disgusted I threw them back on the shelf and stomped away. I actually like the butterflies and flowers and pink stuff, but I don’t like having to buy her pants a size larger so she can actually sit down in them.
BBBGMOM commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amThank god my daughter has her brothers’ hand-me-downs. She wears their jeans and shorts plus a few “girly” leggings (which as others have posted are very comfy and allow lots of movement.) I did find some really cute multi-colored summer pj’s for her last week – no hippos, but ELEPHANTS! She was thrilled. I was thrilled. Now it just needs to warm up so she can wear them!
martinsgirl commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amlevi’s girls jeans are plenty roomy, adjustable waist, and always long enough
to cuff so you have them for what seems like forever. AND you can find them almost everywhere… Kohl’s always have them on sale.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI buy most of my girl’s clothes from Kohls, off the store-brand shelves. Definitely not very trendy, nothing too tight. And since she likes dinosaurs and trucks as well as ladybugs and birds, we grab shirts from both sections.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amAwesome essay! The hippo line killed me. My almost-5 year old wears mostly leggings because they are easy to move around in. She picks all her own clothes and always chooses comfy roomy clothing.
She knows that shoes have to be “good for running.” Stride rite has good ones – they make them pink and sparkly (which she loves) but they have good grips and support.
We get her a pair of sandals like this:
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amThis post is funny, and sadly true. Unfortunately, I’ve found if I shop at more pricey stores–small, local boutiques and such, I can find good quality comfy clothes for my daughters…the unfortunate part is that I have to wait for them to go on the sale rack and hope they still have the right sizes. However, I would like to say that even kids come in all shapes and sizes and my 9-year-old daughter is built like a stick. She is tall and skinny and, honestly, the “slender” jeans from Old Navy fit her great (and she doesn’t even look slutty in them) compared to other brands which are either bagging around the waist or way too short. I’m just sayin’…
leahsmom commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amWe buy boys’ clothes whenever possible – Leah much prefers a hippo to a rainbow! Hear, hear!
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amhear, hear!! my daughter is 12 months and comfort and playability comes first with her clothes, (like pretty embroidered khaki cargos, comfy denim, or khaki skirts, and tees with pretty designs) but the tight jeans do seem to be making a slow takeover at old navy, and seriously, wtf?! i also love what you said about hippos, and i, a now *formerly* pink-hearts-and-butterflies loving mom, am now running out to get started on sewing up some zoo-wear for her. i am thinking about elephants in funky patterns. you have converted me!
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amWow, unprecedented! I agree with you!!
I dress my girls in mostly elastic waist pants (leggings?) that allow them to move. They’re like sweat pants, only more fitted. They’re cooler (temperature wise) than jeans, anyway. I buy adjustable waist jeans for my big girl so that they’re long enough but still fit her around the middle, and they are always built for kids who are heavier than she is, so she has room to move in those.
And I don’t give a rip if they get their clothes dirty. I’m really good at stain removal, and if I can’t take out the stain, who cares? I don’t spend megabucks on their clothes anyway.
Kids should be kids.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amTry Lands End and LL Bean for better pants, and buy her boy pants. my daughter wore toddler boy pants from target for years. I, too, HATE all forms of advertising on shirts;I think the trucks are ugly and the princess crowns sickening. But complain about it to the manager, and then take your $$ somewhere else!!
Manjari commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI feel the same way!! My daughter is 18 months old, and all I can find for her are the ridiculous jeans you described. Not only are they completely unsuitable for playing, but (and this really bugs me) they are imitating women’s clothes that are supposed to be sexy. Why do baby girls need to be sexy? It’s sick! I just end up buying her boys’ jeans.
As angry as the whole thing makes me, you really cracked me up with this:
“Do toddler girls not appreciate the zoo? Would they not like to wear a fucking hippo from time to time? Or would that just make them look fat?”
I do hate the stuff they put on both boys’ and girls’ clothing. I would like my son to wear a shirt that doesn’t say “Daddy’s VIP” or “Super Truck Tractor and Bug Team,” or whatever. It’s almost as bad as all the princess crap I have to pick around when shopping for my girl.
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