Strollerderby
Smackdown: Party On Baby!
I love birthday parties.
Not the Chuck E. Cheese fifth circle of hell parties, but the sprawling mid-summer lawn parties with the kids running wild through a backyard sprinkler, the adults huddled under the trees with a few bottles of wine, coolers of beer and a big cheese platter.
Somehow, the big guy (girl) upstairs saw fit to ensure I can throw one every year – they made sure I gave birth in June. And every year since my daughter turned one, I’ve made a trip to the beer store, stocked up on veggie burgers and hamburgers and pulled out the grill.
My colleague Jen says birthday parties for kids under three are silly unless you’re inviting immediate family only. I respectfully disagree – and not just because I love me a good party on a warm summer’s day.
Our kids’ birthdays are momentous not just for the kids. At one or two, Jen’s right, they barely know what’s going on. They cover their faces and clothes with cake and make feeble attempts to rip through wrapping paper. Those first two birthday parties are as much about the adults in the equation as they are the kids. They’re a celebration of a Mom and Dad’s proudest little accomplishment; and when it comes to celebrating – I say the more, the merrier.
The mentality comes, perhaps, from having a large extended family. Invite one of my father’s siblings and you have to invite all six . . . and their spouses . . . and their kids. The summer birthday thing plays a role too – I’d feel strange throwing an outside party in my close-knit neighborhood and not inviting the neighbors over to join in. Truth be told, it wouldn’t be a party without them. When something is worth celebrating, I’d like to make it a truly celebratory occasion – and that means piling on the guest list.
It also means inviting plenty of kids. Because I can’t fathom how to make the “invite the number of children equal to your child’s age” method work. Most of my closest friends HAVE kids. So cutting down on the number of children would mean cutting down on my own friends as well. And a party – a summer barbecue anyway – doesn’t feel like a party to me without kids. Kids splashing in the wading pool. Kids peddling tricyles down the driveway. Kids having juice box squirting contests in the backyard.
For my daughter, there is fun too. Even at one she knew she was the center of attention, and she was lavished with love. The photos to me are priceless memories – not least because the two parties before my daughter turned three were the last two attended by my grandmother. One day, my daughter will be able to look back through the pictures and see her great-grandmother there, alive, vivacious and thoroughly enjoying the chance to spend time with several of her great-grandchildren.
Soon enough, my daughter will beg for the Chuck E. Cheese party or its equivalent. A few years after that, she’ll be begging to go to the mall with her friends on her birthday – without her parents. Marking the day that forever changed my life and my husband’s will shift entirely to her, and we will have to honor our favorite day some other way, some private way.
Kids are kids for only so long. I say celebrate every moment.
The Other Side: Smackdown: Babies Don’t Need Birthday Parties
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7 Comments
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amWow, this would of been such a nice article if you had left out the beer and wine. Why is it necessary to have alcohol at your CHILD’S party?? Would you let your kid go to a party that the parents had a keg at? It’s a kids party. Can’t you just have a good time and enjoy it with out a drink?
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI live right outside Chicago. Second kid’s birthday is in July. We had the fun blowout party for his first. The second year, it was so cold outside (in July) and windy, that people were freezing. The third, it rained and I had 45 people in my house. My house could comfortably hold like 7 people. So, we have a pool, we have a grill, we have a deck and a small but nice backyard, but no more parties here. I’ll be holding them in either an indoor party inflatable climbing thingie place, Build-a-Bear workshop or in a restaurant.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI love parties. We will have parties for our kids’ birthday every year. They didn’t care about their 1st birthday party, but we did. At their 2nd birthday they had a blast (we had it at my mom’s house with all of their cousins), and they are still talking about it after 3 months. There are a lot of people we love that we wish we could see more often, and a party is the perfect way to get everyone together under one roof. We made the food ourselves, and everyone helps. We would never spend more than we could afford. Even if we can only do a casual, small party every year, it’s important to us to celebrate.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amLike Nicole, I have an Aug. 11 baby and (2 years later) a Sept. 30 baby. Since the boys are so close in age, and we would end up inviting most of the same people, we split the difference and have a big Labor Day/B-Day party blow-out. It’s worked great so far (they are 4 and 6 now).
Last year though, having moved to a new city (and into an apartment), we ended up having the party at a local park. We actually went through the trouble of getting a “party permit” (ie. okay to have music and alcohol, and you get to reserve a picnic area).
The permit cost $15, which I didn’t mind paying–until the park ranger came over. “Hey, you guys got a party permit?” “Umm, yeah, let me find it.” “Oh,” he said, sounding surprised, “I was really just hoping for a cupcake!”
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amAmen! Our families live too far away for this, but we enjoy packing all our friends (with or without kids) into our teen-tiny Chicago apartment. It’s fun for us, for both the kids, and baking a cake and providing goodies makes me feel like a “real mom” (and that in no way is intended to denigrate non-party throwers, I promise!).
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amMy boys were born 13 mos. apart in August and September. We have the tremendous joy of throwing one big blowout for the both of them. And, while they’re young and not greedy for their own individual party- they have an absolute blast. We’ll be doing it again this year as they turn 4 and 5
leahsmom commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI hear your side – and I think it sounds great! But, if you’re not a homeowner (live in an apartment, or with family), the option for that kind of party goes right out the window!
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