I am not a mother yet but I have been doing some research on daycare options. Here is a very interesting website that I found. The things they say here about daycare are very similar to my experience working at several daycare centers during my high school years.

While I understand that many people have to work just to get by, I also understand that if a mother can stay with her child it is better than placing the child in daycare.

The real problem is not parents (although in some cases it) but the policies that have been implemented over the years that have completely destroyed the families. It is known as divide to better conquer. Create the useless mommy wars so that they won’t see the real issues. Maybe if they’re too busy fighting, they won’t have time to understand that if more of their money was coming home, one parent could actually afford to stay home and look after the children. Instead, your hard earned money goes to pay for programs that don’t work.

Maybe that is the real issue? Mothers from all walks of life and education need to unite and say that we need a more generous tax credit for raising our own children. I personally think the children will be better off being raised by their own parents instead of day care workers. But I won’t waste time talking about a clear cut thing. What we really need to do is address tax policies and laws that make it so hard for so many families to give her children the best she can. Please check out this website, it might open your eyes.

http://www.daycaresdontcare.org/WorkersSay/DaycareWorkersSay_page_10.htm

Um… I was raised in daycare. I was raised in a center that focused on emergent curriculum and early childhood education. My mom had to go back to work when I was only 6 weeks old to pay the bills and it was awful on her. When I got older, it was easier. Now, even though my mom worked hard and wasn’t able to make every field trip or pick me up on time every day, I have so much more respect for her than if she had just stayed home. Her work life also let her be a more rounded person so that I could be a more well rounded and independent person. When your mom’s whole life is you, that puts too much pressure on you.

Now that I am a mom, I was super fortunate and able to stay at home with my son for the first 14 months. This was incredible!! Now, he is at a an accredited center that is very similar to the one I went to. His teachers have masters degrees in education and I have never seen him happier. He is engaged, ecstatic and exhausted when I pick him up.

When discussing daycare, PLEASE differentiate between a place where you dump your kid to be watched/fed and a quality center that focuses on early childhood development. Quality group care has so many benefits, that the only people who could oppose obviously aren’t very educated in childcare options.

Okay, i am a stay at home mom, and i wouldn’t put my daughter into daycare unless it was necessary. I mean if i had a job that was worth it i would. But i only have a high school diploma, so any job i got right now would pretty much just pay for daycare. And i dont see the point in working just to send my daughter to daycare. My cousin and her husband both work and their daughter (who is the same age as mine) goes to daycare. She is perfectly fine. I am glad to have the oppurtunity to stay home with my daughter (most of the time, lol). But i understand why alot of moms dont. Also, i stayed home with my daughter, and i didnt breastfeed. I used formula. My cousin who went to work, breastfed for the first 3 months, then pumped for the next 3.
More importantly, why is the big issue the mom who said she would never send her kid to daycare? She didnt say “You are all horrible parents for sending your children to daycare!!” She only said she wouldnt send her kid… There is absolutly nothing wrong with that. I think the worse part is the mother who thinks it is traumitizing to not put your child in daycare.
I think that every mother is entitled to do what she thinks is best for her kids. Hence the reason they are YOUR kids.

Patricia: “I’ve seen about 10 studies that prove over and over again that children raised by their parents are far better adjusted.”

Yes? Citations please? Or I call bullshit.

“We know in our hearts we should be home with our children.” Oh, yes, thank you for exposing our deep guilt and grief. We’re working to provide money and health insurance for our kids, not because we don’t want to be with our kids. You sanctimonious, judgmental toad. Perhaps you couldn’t hack it in the workplace, which is why you’re home sponging off your husband. Crawl back under your rock.

I think I have a nice balanced situation – I work part-time and stay home part-time with my daughter. I believe it is important to spend as much time as I can with her but I also know that I need some time among adults and she needs some time with her peers.

@Alice: ” If you need your income that bad then scale back.”

Darlin’, this what is known as a contradiction in terms. (Look it up.) If you need your income “that bad,” by definition you can’t scale back. Lucky you that you were able to survive on your partner’s income. Most of us out here can’t. So keep your judgments to yourself.

Alice: I was raised in day care. No worse for wear. If it were “just a job” to most day care providers, trust me, they’d pick an industry that *paid* more…

It all goes back to the fact that no matter what a mom does, someone doesn’t like it.

When we had to send my six week son to daycare, my dad gave me a hard time, leaving me in tears.

Now that my son is 9 months and is not in daycare (my husband stays home with him until mid-afternoon, then my mom watches him), I hear from people that maybe he would be doing better – hitting milestones quicker, less separation anxiety – if he was in daycare.

not at all surprising to me. My husband’s grandmother told me that I was just selfish for putting the baby in day care when I should be at home with her (even though my husband earns $10K a year less than I do and has no health insurance). One of my husband’s friends told us that he should keep me home because we have to ‘raise [our] own child, not have some stranger do it.” Several women who I work with have told me they would have never come back to work as soon as I did or travel for work like I do, and that I will regret it. There is still very little support for working women in some places. Not sure if it’s the part of the country I live in (Montana, kind of conservative) or just run of the mill judgementalism but I have been ragged on for my choice to work by almost everyone. Not that it’s much of a choice if we want to eat food, live indoors, etc.