Strollerderby
Trend: Sewing Up Stretched-Out Hoohoos
Hoohoo. Yes, that’s the technical term, why do you ask? Do you prefer “vajayjay”? Or, perhaps, “delicate flower of womanhood”? Nope, too long. (Never mind me, I’m just enjoying saying stupid euphemisms for genitalia in public.)
But I guess I got in the junior-high mode because of this article about this stupid trend of labiaplasty. And, yes, that is the technical term. That and vaginaplasty. What are they? Well, my jaw about dropped to the floor (where my labia already are) when I read that women are so damn concerned with how their genitalia look after having a kid or two that they’re resorting to painful and sometimes complication-ridden surgery to restore their pre-birth pubes.
Have these women never heard of Kegels?
I’m sure this is way more than you want to know about me, but after FOUR children, yes, I’ve sized up a bit in the tampon department, but that’s about the extent of my complications from having four vaginal births.
But…women having SURGERY because they don’t like the way they look, uh, DOWN THERE?
I saw an old Sex in the City last night where Charlotte has a look at…herself…that way…for the first time. Seriously, are you all gazing at yourselves in the mirror all day in order to become obsessed with looking “right”? Am I missing something here? Do moms really have time for that sort of thing? And seriously, does anybody else spending much time down there really care either?
I realize that sometimes, not very often, things might go a bit…awry during birth, and surgery is necessary to do repairs. I myself had an appointment with a needle after a botched episiotomy. And sometimes, when things go awry, more extensive surgery is required. Sometimes. I get that. But this seems totally elective, totally…weird.
And why am I reminded of female genital mutilation?
Is it just me?
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7 Comments
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amKaren, for once I find myself thinking you are right about something. Those euphemisms are indeed stupid.
GrrrlfriendJess commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amOh my…this slays me. I am so not worried about having a perfect hoo-hoo. Thanks for making me laugh about labia today, my friend!
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI SO agree with Mamaloo. Think about a penis, it goes flaccid, gets large, and then goes flaccid again…no problem. Our “hoohoos” dont get stretched out, they accomadate their cargo then, for the most part, go back to the way they were. Vaginas are pretty cool. Anyone read “Ina Mae’s Guide to childbirth”?
trayletha commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amThe idea of having this surgery for cosmetic reasons is horrifying – but if it could stop the pee-leaks when I laugh, sneeze or cough, that just might be worth it.
Tracey
RachelZ commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amIs your average man (or woman) going to even NOTICE? This is so disgusting, I can’t even begin. I want to find a woman who would have this kind of surgery for no other reason than because of how it “looks” or if she’s worried that her partner will reject her because she’s a wee bit roomier and smack her silly.
If I were allowed to smack all the people who deserve it, the world would truly be a better place.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amNo, it’s not just you, Karen. You can actually find cosmetic surgery websites that show before/after pics…..
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amNot just you. I totally agree with you.
This kind of surgery is an example of a deep misunderstanding of how the vagina actually works. And misogyny, because you just know that the vag tightening surgery was created by men who think vaginas are like worn out t-shirts and not a complex arrangement of bands of muscles.
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