Strollerderby
Unmarried Celebrity Moms and Dads
MSNBC has a nice little gawky slideshow featuring famous couples who bear children without being married. It’s a sidebar, cheekily titled “First Comes Baby” (then comes love?) and accompanies the main story on Jessica Alba, who is promoting her new movie and is also with child. The headline acts as meddling mother by promising her “thoughts on marriage.”
Having given birth to both my kids before being forced to marry my partner to get health benefits (details provided here), I still feel a certain affinity to these couples who, for whatever reason, haven’t bothered getting married — now or yet or ever. And I tend to slice and dice all the codes and tones and extra commentary packed into the reportage. I like to see what terms the writers come up with for the main players. Like Erin’s recent post on names for two mommies, unmarried couples don’t have any agreed-upon references for their partners/girlfriends/husbands/SOs/etc.
So going through the slideshow, I did a little lexical inventory of what the baby mama/baby daddy get called and find it interesting that there’s a difference, even though I can’t figure out who gets to be called what. It’s either “boyfriend/girlfriend” (for example, Halle Berry’s, Matthew McConaughey’s, Jamie Lynn Spears’, Alba’s, Nicole Richie’s) or “longtime boyfriend/girlfriend” (Mark Wahlberg’s). Only the Tim Robbins/Susan Sarandon industrial complex is referred to in terms of “partner.”Brad and Angelina get to be called “a couple.” Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher are spared the girlfriend/boyfriend tag, too, either because they’re both actors or because, as their slide indicates, he proposed to her years ago.
Any unmarried couples out there want to chime in with terminological ideas for the celebrity press?
IIncidentally, if you read through the Alba story, she says, regarding marriage, “she’s thought about it,” but nothing more. We’re not getting the details. Seems that unlike li’l Jamie Lynn Spears, she doesn’t necessarily “want to get married real bad.” I hear you, Jessica, I hear you.
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3 Comments
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amJessica Alba is engaged to Cash Warren, so it seems she’s done more than “thought about it.” Why get engaged if you’re not on board for the big walk down the aisle?
I think it’s a completely personal decision. I was with my now husband for many years before we got married and was just as committed to him then as I am now that I’ve got the ring on my finger.
As for same sex couples, I can’t vouch for them, but I would think they want the right to marry not so much for the benefits as because they should be afforded the same rights as any other couple. They should be able to make the decision to marry or not to marry rather than have it made for them.
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amFor couples who are getting along – there may be no need for marriage. However, when legal problems arise, a “state endorsed marriage” can protect the lower earning partner. Also, if there weren’t benefits to marriage, why would same sex couples be fighting for it?
Anonymous commented on Jan 01 70 at 12:00 amI am one of the unmarried mamas, happily and by choice. My partner and I have decided to remain unmarried for the foreseeable future. We are not married because we are lucky to be able to have access to health and other benefits through my partner’s workplace. We had to fill out all kinds of documents proving our relationship for the domestic partnership status. But we don’t see a need to get married. And we particularly are not going to get married until same sex couples are legally able to do the same. I believe that state endorsed marriage is an outdated institution.
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