Okay, I might be a dissenting opinion on the Girlfriend’s guide, but I took it with a grain of salt. I assumed it was mostly for comedic amusement, and that the author was being a sarcastic mom of a herd! What I got from that book was the reality that no book is a bible, and you should just trust your judgement, talk to other moms and make the best effort. I do think the concept of a PUSH present is ridiculous as a demand. BUt I was also a Jeweler for years, where we routinely sold mom’s rings and other goodies for having babies. It used to be an HONOR, not a commandment! As for the what to EXPECT book, it totally sucked. It mentioned NOTHING about Hyperemesis (Power chucking 15 or more times a day!!!) or that many women have Gaul bladder issues from pregnancy. I Sure has hell didn’t expect that, after reading the book! It had one line in the index, with a description of Hyperemesis. Gee, thanks. It seemed more like a bloody cookbook, than a manual on pregnancy.

I didn’t get the “What to Expect…” book because I am a plus-sized mother and other women had told me it was full of alarmist references to body weight. I instead looked at books for plus-sized women, but the best thing I ever found was on the internet: http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/.

This site is written by a plus-sized mom who explains all about her experiences and cites a lot of good studies and scientific explanations for what she’s saying. She also quotes a bit from the “What to Expect…” book, and debunks the myths it contains about larger women.

So, for anyone out there who is plus-sized and wants to know about what the real risks are, and how plus-sized women can and usually do have healthy babies, etc., I’d skip the “What to Expect…” book and go to the plus sized pregnancy website.

I swore off books and internet at 4 months pregnant, having bought the usual suspects, now I am 7 1/2 months pregnant, and finally enjoying an intuitive experience. a few questions here and there, my dr./pre-natal yoga class or friends/relatives take care of. I also have not had a television for over 3 years, and highly recommend getting rid of any fear based influences, including pregnancy propaganda and the zombie box. pure life has a lot more to offer than anything made with the focus on profits.

Some of the info in WTE was useful, but mostly it just made me feel inadequate. The tone is so patronizing and fussy. And the Best Odds Diet? Yeah. Whatever.

I tried my best to read it and be a part of the “team” and I have to admit I felt a bit like a failed father for not getting more than 2 pages into that useless pile of hokum. Then the baby arrived and I realize no book on earth can prepare you for that. So now I tell my expecting friends to just drink as much gin as possible while they still can.

My impression of What to Expect:
Help! Save my baby from…me! I am clearly not able to feed myself or recognize my own physical and emotional needs, so how in the world can I care for this growing (and, let’s face it, parasitic) creature in my womb?

I got through a few chapters, then threw it across the room in disgust. Condescending and judgmental crap feeding on the anxieties of first-time moms.

I was much more interested in the scientific stuff, anyway, as far as what was happening developmentally throughout. I think the book I found most helpful was something like Your Pregnancy Week by Week…which, surprisingly, came in the mail from my HMO.

Hated it too!
Got it because it was the book Everyone knows about, pregnant or not. My husband and I had a few good laughs at all the horrible list of things that could go wrong (which are not in fact funny) and then put it in the garage with all his college anthropology books. Way too condescending and sensational.

i also hated both of these books (got them as gifts) but loved:

- birthing from within
-ina may’s guide to childbirth
and
-magical beginnings, enchanted lives (by deepak chopra)

so glad there is now so much more info out there that lets women know that it’s okay to trust your body. a lot of that older material is sooo medical and fear-based.

oh, and “the business of being born” dvd is out now, and is an amazingly empowering resource, too!

WTE: I actually asked my OB if she’d ever heard of someone (or their fetus) perishing from an embolism after oral sex. I had to know. Of course, she laughed. I threw the book away after that.

GFG: The ONLY piece of good advice I got from this book was the bit about what to expect post-delivery, and how it can look like a crime scene in your recovery room and that’s totally normal. It did (once, briefly! Thank you kind nurses for coming to my aid!), and no one else had ever warned me that might happen. So, thank you too GFG lady.

Another WTE hater. My OB recommended that I stay away from that book in particular.

Absolutely HATED “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” – not only was it terrifying, but it was poorly written! I used babycenter.com and WebMD for my information, and ivillage has wonderful “expecting clubs” where you can get advice if you need it. With all that said, I truly loved “What to Expect the First Year.” It was a lifesaver in so many ways, and it was completely unlike “When you’re Expecting.”

My favorite was the Ann Douglas book The Mother of All Pregnancy Books. I wouldn’t say it’s alarmist. I also found it helpful that Douglas had a stillborn baby, which I also did. I felt more comfortable taking advice from someone who understood my fears. Ironically, I never paid any attention to the negative stuff in What to Expect in my first pregnancy. Didn’t scare me one bit.

I bought ‘The Panic Free Pregnancy’ and found that very helpful.

They should call it ‘What to Read After You’ve Read What To Expect When Youre Expecting and Your Expectant Self Got All Freaked Out’

Thankfully I bought WTE at the thrift store. Which is where I will send it back to. As soon as I finish this delicious fudge brownie.

With the exception of the diet section, I actually found “What to Expect” reassuring. I only looked up information as I needed it and I always found the answer I was looking for.

And any negative information seems alarmist when everything turns out fine, but when I had my first miscarriage the information in that book was spot on. In that situation the writing was anything but judgmental and I appreciated it.

“Girlfriend’s Guide” just made me laugh. It had a few handy sections and was otherwise harmless.

JW, the baby will be fine as long as every carb you ingest is whole wheat

I bought the “Expect ” book used with the advice not to read it cover to cover. So I mainly used it like an encyclopedia – I looked up things that I needed to know. The Girlfriends guide was purely a fun read. It took me six months to find the best pregnancy book for me – I’m Pregnant by Lesley Regan. It’s layout is week by week and very informative.

I hated this book and kept it by my bedside so I could mock it. Maybe it was the useless information and the fact that everytime I had a question I could not find the answer in it that made it such great fodder for my rants. I don’t know, but I tell other women not to bother with it.

My baby is more than a year old now and pregnancy is (finally) just a happy memory, but my husband and I are still laughing about the advice my copy of “What to Expect” offers women who are going into labour: don’t panic, don’t rush to the hospital immediately – instead, fix a few sandwiches for your husband. Watching a woman labour is hungry work, you know.

I also love the way the “What to Expect” Q&A sections phrase everything as a concern. “I’m five months pregnant, the nausea is gone and I feel fantastic…does this mean my baby is dead?” Well, that’s not an actual quote, but it might as well be.

I bought “What to Expect..” and it didn’t suit me since I’m just not a Type A kind by any stretch,(and it did seem rigid and alarmist) then a friend gave me “The Girlfriend’s Guide..” and I thought it was pretty stupid in general. I didn’t want to have to feel sexy and empowered and entitled to every emotional whim. Too “Sex and the City Gets Pregnant” for me.

I found babycenter.com and pregnancyweekly.com and they were my guides. (as long as I stayed away from the forums which were full of horror stories and cutesy signature crap that took up half a page)

How did anyone get by before all this pregnancy books anyway? It’s a wonder our moms were able to birth us without the instruction manuals.

For real…I got the What to Expect book (also back in 2001), kinda skimmed it, and realized, hey…isn’t the reason I have a midwife is so she can tell me what to expect?

I bought the new version last week because I’m newly pregnant, and it was cheap – under 9 bucks at amazon. I didn’t think it was alarmist, etc (although I’d definitely heard it about previous versions). I’m more concerned about getting the information I need 1) cheaply 2) without spending a lot of time trawling the web for the essentials. I can take or leave a lot of it (like drinking 3 glasses of milk for a protein serving). Barf-ola! Use your brain.