Married people fight, and some fight more than others. Casey and I used to fight a lot. Our second year of a marriage was a disaster in the fighting department. It seemed like we were fighting with each other the majority of the time. It made that year pretty taxing on us and I think it took several years to get over that second year.
Over time, the number of fights we had keep shrinking until we only fought once or twice per week. Sometimes our fights were about nothing at all, but they would get pretty intense. Casey used to ask why we were fighting about stupid things and I would suggest that maybe it was because we were venting our pent up frustrations, even if we were letting them out over really stupid things. Once we rededicated ourselves to our marriage back in 2009, our fights have dwindled to maybe a couple per month, but when we do fight it’s almost always over the same 10 things.
Here are the 10 most common spousal fights that I have with my wife:
Most Common Fights 1 of 11
Click through for the 10 most common fights I have with my wife.
Work 2 of 11
Our jobs aren't always compatible schedule-wise. Casey is out of town a lot and she has to do a lot of events even when she is in town, while my job often requires me to be at the courthouse by order of the court or I could face being found in contempt of court. Most of the time I can pick up Addie from school or take Vivi to daycare to make sure everything works out, but occasionally our responsibilities and not reconcilable and a fight ensues over which job takes priority.
Furniture 3 of 11
We have a lot of bachelor pad-like furniture. We have a few new couches for the main room in our house, but most of the rest of the house has my old furniture that I collected while in college—including two non-working giant TVs that are just sitting in separate corners of the house. Casey hates that most of the rooms in our house resemble a bachelor pad. Oh, and the two non-working TVs drive her nuts, but I love them both.
Casey’s Driving 4 of 11
When we're both in the car, I drive 99% of the time otherwise we're guaranteed to get into a fight. I was in an accident as a passenger before I met Casey where I ended up smashing my head against a telephone pole as my side of the car was smashed in when our car tipped on its side as it fell into a ditch. I still suffer some side effects from that accident which causes me to grab for the handle in the car and jump as I cover my eyes while Casey drives.
Sleep 5 of 11
Casey loves her sleep and she gets a lot of it. I love sleep too, but I only get about 5 hours per night. That means that weekends have the potential to bring about a fight. Casey wants to be able to sleep in on weekends like she does on the weekdays and she likes to take long naps too. I, on the other hand, think I should get to take longer naps and have some extra time to sleep on weekend mornings to make up for my lack of sleep during the week. Casey almost always wins this battle because a tired wife makes for a miserable family.
Projects 6 of 11
We have lots of projects that we want to get done around the house. I'm always thinking four or five projects ahead—all well before I've finished the earlier projects. My motivation to finish projects after starting them is really low, mostly because I just don't have a lot of spare time. Anyway, I get frustrated with the demands to finish projects and Casey gets frustrated that I'm ridiculously slow at finishing those projects.
World Views 7 of 11
Casey and I disagree on how much information we should give our kids about the world. We both agree about what kinds of movies our kids can be exposed to, but I'm far more liberal in discussing real world news with Addie than Casey. This is understandable because Casey can't mentally handle some of the bad news in the world, but I want Addie to understand that bad things can and do happen.
Cleaning 8 of 11
We don't fight about cleaning as much as we used to, but occasionally we still get annoyed with each other over cleaning. I get frustrated with Casey's ability to make a relatively simple meal while producing as many dishes as it typically takes to cook for a Thanksgiving meal, while Casey gets frustrated with how little I help with cleaning the upstairs of our house.
Clutter 9 of 11
We both have too much clutter and we fight about it a lot. I think it's okay to have a few boxes of memories stored in the garage, while Casey thinks my two boxes of memories are just clutter—the key word in that sentence is "my" boxes of memories. Her many boxes of memories in the garage are important keepsakes.
Food 10 of 11
We fight about food a lot. I love eating carbohydrates and meat. Casey loves having us all eat more fruits and vegetables and less carbohydrates so we can all be more healthy. It frustrates her that my eating habits, while improved over what they were a decade ago, are still unhealthy. This usually leads to an argument over my eating habits where I claim that I'm eating healthy enough and Casey argues that I'm terribly unhealthy.
Exercise 11 of 11
I exercise a lot. When I say a lot, I mean anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours per day and that takes a lot of time away from my family. I have tried to schedule my exercise at times when everyone is asleep, but there's always a good chunk of that time that has to be done at the expense of spending time with my family and that frustrates Casey.
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