Twelve years ago I promised my wife she would be mine, “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.” All of that is still true, but nowhere in that wedding ceremony did anyone ask me to promise that I would kill all spiders in the house, no matter how small they happen to be. There are all kinds of things I look at and think, nope, I’m not doing that and it doesn’t matter how much I love you. For example, singing and dancing along at a recent Mumford & Sons concert we attended was not going to happen.
Truth is, if it was really important to my wife I would find a way to make it happen, but it better be important, and not just a but I really want you to do it type of important. For example, in our first year of marriage I jokingly tossed my gym shorts to Casey and asked her to sniff them to see if they were clean. She hadn’t spent much time in a boy’s locker room so she didn’t realize it was a joke. She shoved her face in the crotch area of the shorts and took the deepest breath she could. She stumbled back as if someone had smacked her in the face with a musty ham sandwich, I burst out laughing. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I’d like for that whole scene to happen again at some point in our marriage, and I think it’s important that it does, but it doesn’t cross that line and I would expect smelling my husband’s dirty gym shorts AGAIN to make an appearance on the list of things that she won’t do for me.
So, here are the 10 things I won’t do for my wife no matter how much I love her:
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