Alright, obviously my kids aren’t really trying to kill me, but considering some of the obstacles they’ve set up in my house over the past month I’m starting to wonder if that’s really true. It’s a given that kids don’t always think about how their actions affect other people. The classic example of the roller skate left on the stairs for an unsuspecting mom or dad to step on and fall to their untimely end comes to mind. We’ve never actually had to deal with the roller skate on the stairs, likely because roller skates were left back in the ’80s where they belong, but we have dealt with other obstacles nearly as dangerous.
The only specific instance I can remember where I would have sent the same scare into my parents was when I handed my dad a knife by shoving the blade part at him first. Whoops. Oh, that brings another memory to mind. There was that time when I had the BB gun out for target practice when I was only 8 or 9 years old and I wasn’t always careful about where I was pointing the gun. Then my siblings and I each have a story where my dad took us fishing and as we went to cast our hooks into the lake we accidentally hooked our dad and then tried to cast him into the lake right along with the hook. So, I guess there are more of those stories than I thought.
My kids are the same way, only some of the ways they are trying to kill me are rather unique. So, here are the 10 ways my kids are trying to kill me:
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