I tend to think that when it comes to lots of the so-called ‘crossroads’ that all kids find themselves standing at before long, there ought to be plenty of leeway from moms and dads in allowing them some serious freedoms regarding how they want to help define themselves, and about how they wish to live their lives.
I mean, shouldn’t a ten year-old girl be able to decorate her room how she wants? And shouldn’t a 14-year-old boy be able to give up the football team in favor of an after-school job even if dad and granddad were both team legends long ago?
Or do we owe it to these young people to somehow make sure that they understand that we are the ones who know what is best for them?
It isn’t always easy to decide just what we should insist upon and just what we should let them ponder themselves, but it’s worth thinking about, right?
See, I may be wrong here, but I really feel like the very subtle but very powerful act/art of giving kids the opportunity to decide certain things for themselves isn’t connected in any way to one of these ‘free-range’ nut-job style of parenting that says we should let our kids do whatever the hell they want to do whenever the hell they feel like doing it.
Not at all.
Instead, what I am supposing is that when we let our own kids decide certain things for themselves it has such an influential sway on their own destiny that it will sink into their concrete heads a lot sooner. Or at least a lot sooner than if the world is dictated to them by a bunch of grown-ups who mean well, but keep on just shoving the exact same theories, traditions, and beliefs down their kid’s necks that were shoved down theirs and so on and so on back generation after generation. .
Of course, no parent can ever let their guard down at all when it comes to our kids; we have so much to teach them and they need us around for a billion bits of advice. I think that most young people understand that (well, for the most part).
Yet, there are a lot of things that they can probably decide on their own, without too much of our influence, too. And it is those decisions that I think will often be the ones that ultimately convince them that we trust them inherently; and that we love them unconditionally.
Think about it.
You can also find Serge on his personal blog, Thunder Pie.
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