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20 Toys Children Won’t See This Christmas PART 2

 

Yesterday, I posted the first 10 toys from The Top 20 Toys Children Won’t See This Christmas, and as promised, today I present to you the remaining items on this dubious list.

 

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  • 11. Hungry, Hungry CEOs 1 of 10
    11. Hungry, Hungry CEOs
    This toy is almost exactly the same as the hippo version except that the greedy chomping heads are in the likeness of CEO's from JP Morgan, Goldman Sachs, AIG, and Bank of America. The marbles also are green with a dollar sign symbol on them.
  • 12. Occupy Wall Street Angry Birds 2 of 10
    12. Occupy Wall Street Angry Birds
    In this version, a disgruntled band of birds armed with things like bongo drums and bullhorns, slingshot themselves up against architecturally unsound banks in an attempt to destroy the fat and happy pigs inside.
  • 13. The Game of Unemployed LIFE 3 of 10
    13. The Game of Unemployed LIFE
    The Game of LIFE has been retooled to reflect current economic conditions as adults navigate their way through the recession. Players must first find a job after college, and then have to avoid getting laid off--a difficult feat when over 9.8% of the cards are pink slips. "Unemployment Benefits Claim Denied! Now what?" In addition to play money, game currency also includes unemployment checks, food stamps, and WIC.
  • 14. Rick Perrys Scattergories 4 of 10
    14. Rick Perrys Scattergories
    In this version of the high-paced game, 2-to-6-players draw a topic from the stack of National Issues Deck and then name three executive actions they would take as President, but the actions have to start with one pre-determined letter. Players lose a turn if they draw a blank during their answer.
  • 15. Washed Up Rockstar Elmo 5 of 10
    15. Washed Up Rockstar Elmo
    With bloodshot eyes and a cigarette dangling from his mouth, an overweight Elmo plays a toy guitar while forgetting the words to classic tunes like the "Itsy-Bitsy Spider," in which he slurs his way through the first few stanza before going off on an incoherent rant about how that stupid spider can climb all the way to the top of that damn waterspout, but what good is it? Now he just has further to fall. He sure does, Elmo. He sure does.
  • 16. U.S. Congressional Barrel of Monkeys 6 of 10
    16. U.S. Congressional Barrel of Monkeys
    A lot of people are saying this toy should be recalled because the arms on the monkeys won't hook together. This, of course, defeats the purpose of the game, and so basically, it just doesn't work.
  • 17. Dora the Explorer: Arizona Border Patrol Adventure 7 of 10
    17. Dora the Explorer: Arizona Border Patrol Adventure
    Kids get to use toy versions of their favorite characters to help Dora cross the US border into Arizona undetected. Parents will have a hard time not smiling when they hear their kid singing. "It's the wall. It's the wall. It's the wall. It's the wall. It's the WALL!"
  • 18. The Kardashians Littlest B%#h Shop 8 of 10
    18. The Kardashians Littlest B%#h Shop
    These bug-eyed cuties with over-sized heads somehow grew into a national craze for no real apparent reason. Now, there seems to be no end in sight to the amount of gaudy accessories or to the expensive play sets. New this year--Littlest B%#ch Shop Wedding Chapel and Little B*@ch Shop Divorce Court.
  • 19. Mark Zukerberg SIMS Game 9 of 10
    19. Mark Zukerberg SIMS Game
    A PC-based game that lets a solitary player create an entirely virtual world where people live out their normal lives while the player collects their personal information and spies on their activities.
  • 20. Penn State My Buddy Doll 10 of 10
    20. Penn State My Buddy Doll
    Complete with a Nittany Lion track suit and clipboard, all you do is turn it on and it plays with your kids.

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