Back in 2009 when Casey pulled me to the side to tell me that she wanted a divorce, things could have easily turned out differently than how they did. Instead, we decided to give our marriage another chance and here we are living in Indiana as a pretty happy family. But every once in a while, I still catch myself looking at my surroundings and wondering how different my life would be right now if things had gone the other way back in 2009. What if Casey had decided I’d had enough chances to prove that I loved her? What if I decided the shock of her wishes for a divorce were too much to overcome? What if we had both decided there was no way to recover from what law school had put us through? Things would be very different right now, and I can’t help but feel glad that we made the right decision.
When I catch myself looking back and wondering what would have happened if Casey and I hadn’t pulled through, these are some of the things I recognize would be different if I had gotten divorced:
Things That Would Not Have Happened Had I Gotten Divorced 1 of 11
Click through to read some of how my life would be different had I gotten divorced.
Single Parenting 2 of 11
Casey would have moved back to Salt Lake City and I, having just passed the Indiana bar and started a job as an associate, would have likely remained in Indiana. Addie would have either stayed with me or she would have gone with Casey, but either way she would have spent long chunks of time with only one parent. I believe that it is difficult for the non-custodial parent in that type of a parenting relationship to have much of a relationship with the child.
Casey’s Career 3 of 11
Casey's career had started to take off before we dealt with the potential divorce, but it wasn't anywhere near what it is now, and I don't think it could have turned into what it has had we gone through with our divorce. There would have been too many distractions and complications for it to prosper in quite the same manner. In other words, life would have gotten in the way.
House 4 of 11
Casey dropped the D word about a week before we were set to close on our house. If our conversation that Sunday had gone a bit differently, there's no way we would have gone through with the closing on our house. Going through with the closing after having just decided days before not to get divorced was difficult enough. We both would likely be living in apartments a thousand miles apart from each other.
Gymnastics 5 of 11
Addie is getting a pretty rare opportunity. How many kids out there get to say they are trained by a former Olympic gold medalist? If we had gotten divorced, Addie wouldn't have had that opportunity in Utah and I wouldn't have had the forethought to put her in a gymnastics program to begin with.
Vivster 6 of 11
Our divorce would have ended our family with just Addie. Vivi would have never come into existence.
Bus Stop 7 of 11
Addie and Vivi's weekday routine of meeting at the bus stop as Addie gets off the bus would never have happened.
Best Friends 8 of 11
Addie and Vivi have become really close friends and they play together each day. Without Vivi being born, Addie wouldn't know what it would be like to have a sister as a best friend.
Wink 9 of 11
We never would have adopted the one-eyed cat with thumbs. The guy would have stayed at the shelter for who knows how much longer before someone would have taken a shot at this sickly looking cat.
Father 10 of 11
I never would have had the opportunity to learn how to be a better father because it's doubtful I would have ever recognized where I was coming up so short as a parent.
Friend 11 of 11
I wouldn't have been able to spend the rest of my life with my best friend.
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