I watched my sister go through the stresses of preparing for a wedding months before the event. I was only a high schooler at the time and I kept wondering why the style of her wedding dress mattered so much and why all the other details of the wedding were important. In my mind a wedding was a wedding and all those other details that surrounded the wedding weren’t important.
Then it came time for my wedding and I had matured to the point to where… I had the same attitude as when I was younger. Who cares what your dress looks like or where your flowers come from? Does it really matter what the reception hall looks like? Do we really have to worry about who sits where at the reception?
A day or two before our wedding my wife told me with lots of excitement in her voice that she was having flowers flown in from Sweden or Switzerland or some country from that area of the world. She looked so happy that she would have flowers from a foreign country that weren’t available in the United States at her wedding. I think my words to her were, “huh.”
That was it.
Last week I had the opportunity to fly to Boise, Idaho (is it really an opportunity to fly to Boise or is it more of a chore? I kid, I kid) and participate in my best friend’s wedding. My best friend had been the best man at my wedding; he was also the only groomsman at my wedding. When the bride asked me how many groomsmen were at my wedding, I said, “One — I have lots of friends.”
When I arrived in Boise I showed up at the wedding site, which was in one of the grass fields at my friend’s grandparents’ house. His grandparents’ house was a near perfect location for a wedding near Boise, Idaho. There were three or four large grass fields lined with old wooden pole fences. The grass was thick and well taken care of. The ground was so well taken care of that a college football program could have moved in and used the fields on game day.
My friend, who looked stressed and rattled, walked me through the plans on what his weeding and after party were supposed to look like. Only a small portion of the wedding had been set up or built at that point and it was clear to me that my friend needed a lot of help or he wasn’t going to have time to set up the wedding.
For the next 24 hours I spent pretty much every minute with my friend’s dad and grandfather as we built stands, hung lights, built a miniature golf course, ran extension cords, finished a dance floor, and on and on and on it went. By the time the wedding came around, my back ached and my legs were swollen from overuse.
It struck me as I set out putting my friend’s wedding together how involved he was with the wedding process. He had sat down with his wife-to-be and they had planned this whole wedding. They had put together even the smallest of details all in preparation of the wedding. Several months before the wedding the bride had purchased 50 pairs of flip flops for the dance floor. She had also jumped onto Craigslist and ordered a movie frame of Wedding Crashers, complete with flashing lights, for the rehearsal dinner. The clothes for the groomsman had all been bought and lined up ready to go. The only thing I needed to bring was my underwear.
The detail that went into the wedding was pretty shocking to me. And what was even more shocking was that my friend was heavily involved in planning the wedding. I may have spent 15 minutes total planning for my wedding during the entire 7 months leading up to my wedding.
That makes me wonder, was I, as the husband, an abnormal wedding planner? Did you or your husband or your significant other worry about the details of your wedding?
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