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Childless Vacation: Why I Caught Myself Oohing and Awing Over Other People's Kids

addieblogTaking a trip to Mexico was almost perfect with just one exception — I missed the hell out of my daughters.

Casey spent the first 7 or so years of our marriage wondering why I didn’t get homesick when I was away from home and why I didn’t miss her and Addie that much when they went to Utah as I studied for finals. Truth was, I did miss them. I was just much better at ignoring it.

After my first set of finals, Casey and I both realized that my studying for finals with her at home alone with Addie for week after week wasn’t the best situation for Casey’s mental health. We decided that we would save money and she and Addie would go to Utah a month before my finals where Casey could spend time with family and hopefully survive the finals season.

The month before my spring finals came, Addie and Casey loaded themselves onto a plane and headed off to Utah where they would spend the next two and a half months. I stayed behind in Indiana and studied for my finals for as long and as hard as I could. Once my finals were over I hopped on a plane and shipped off to Utah where I stayed with Casey and Addie for a month.

To Casey and those around me, it didn’t seem like I missed my family very much, but I really struggled during their first trip away. I scoured Casey’s blog and Facebook page for updated photographs of Addie so I could see how big she had grown while she was away. I spent hours watching little video clips that were recorded on a crappy cellphone camera because I missed Addie so much.

I missed Casey too, but she was a big girl and with her it was just a matter of time before we were back to being together.

The rest of my finals came and went just like the earlier finals. And with each set of finals my ability to ignore that feeling of missing my wife and child got easier and easier to ignore.

Outside Casey and my cruise trip last year, this trip to Mexico was the longest we had both been away from our daughters. I gotta say, it was tough.

I’m used to spending each evening with Addie and Vivi. It is very rare that I don’t get to spend the evening with at least one of them. So while I was away to Mexico I couldn’t help but gasp a little inside whenever I saw kids that looked like they were the same ages as Addie and Vivi.

As I got off the plane I impatiently waited for our shuttle to pick us up as quickly as possible so I could get to our car and drive us home at a speed of at least 10 to 15 mph faster than the speed limit. I wanted to make it home before Addie and Vivi went to bed, but we didn’t make it.

We pulled into our garage at about 9:30 p.m. and both Addie and Vivi were fast asleep. I stopped at the first door in the hallway of that section of the house and lifted Vivi out of her bed. I shook her awake and said hello and then rocked her back to sleep. When I was done rocking Vivi back to sleep I opened the second door in that hallway and lightly shook Addie awake. I said hello once more, kissed her on the forehead, and told her I loved her.

It was tough to think of the positives as we left sunny Mexico, but it certainly helped that I was super excited to see my kids.

Read more about my family on Moosh in Indy or follow me on Twitter!

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More on Babble Dad:

10 Things I’ve Learned From My Toddler

The Most Difficult Moment: 10 Reasons Why I Decided not to get Divorced

Pictures to Prove that Cancun, Mexico is the Perfect Winter Vacation Location

Toddler Problems: Vivi Refuses to Eat

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