Cast: Me: 40, in my George Jones t-shirt that I thought I lost a year ago and just found yesterday! (it was in an old dryer)
Violet: 3, newest super-fan of ‘The Dog Whisperer’
Scene: In the Honda, in the car wash, late evening.
(Cameras zooms out of the slot where your debit card comes out after you pay for your car wash and follows my arm right into the car. I am in the front, putting it in drive, easing us in for the soaking that is long overdue. Violet is buckled in her car seat behind me and to my right. I zip the windows up and the sound of thunder begins.)
Me: Okay, are you ready??!! Here we go! Hear that thunder sound? That’s the red monsters coming toward us!
Violet: (spotting the giant whirling buffers headed our way) Oooooooh, there they are, Daddy! Big red monsters!
Me: Yeah here they come! And they are eating all the dirt and the bird crap and the splattered bugs off of our car, huh?! They are so hungry that our car must seem like a big delicious cake to them, huh?
Violet: (her eyes are wide/uncertain/amazed) Yeah! YEAH! They are eating our car, Dad! It’s SO COOL!
Me: I know, it is so cool! I love the car wash! LOOK! Here comes the green goblins! Oh my gosh, look at how fast they’re spinning!
(I have no idea what these things do, but they are green and fast and they seem to be working their asses off out there, so, you know: respect.)
Violet: DAD! DAD! Do you hear that??! It’s raining out there and the red monsters are back and they are eating the car and the green gobwins are dancing on the roof I think,… and this is SO COOL!”
Me: Yep, I think you’re right with all of that! And look over there! The lights are blinking green! Here comes the dinosaur breath!
(the jet dryers kick on hard)
Violet: (her mouth is wide open and her eyes are little sizzling star chips landed in my own damn backseat) It’s the dinosaurs! It’s SO COOL, Dad! This is SO COOL!
(The way she says ‘so cool’ makes my soul do back flips and Moonwalks and so the fact that she is now unleashing a mad barrage of them is causing me to skitz out with something close to pure joy up behind my steering wheel, my whole body twisted so I can watch digging this ride as much as if I had pulled up in a space ship this afternoon and taken her for a few laps around the freakin’ moon.)
Me: Okay, now we have to move forward through the hot dinosaur breath, okay?, So hold on because they are going to be breathing some real real hot air and I have to hold on tight to the wheel to make sure we don’t blow away or anything!
Violet: (her face is melting with excitement)
(We roll out into the parking lot, the Honda dripping what the dryers didn’t get; in the rear-view I am watching my daughter trying to turn around the best she can, to gauge what just happened/where we just were. I crack a window, let some air in.)
Violet: That was SO COOL, huh??!!
Me: Yeah, that was, baby.
Violet: That was SO COOL, Daddy.
(A moment passes as we pull out onto the road)
Violet: (to no one special) That was SO COOL.
(Camera pulls back from the little girl’s fascinated face staring out at the evening sky and whips through the crack in the open car window and holds a holding pattern above the road, as if it were a power line hawk, watching us pass/watching us move on/watching us hit the green light just right and make the left down towards the highway/watching us disappear around the bend.)
You can also find Serge on his personal blog, Thunder Pie.
Keep up with Babble.com on Facebook.
More from Serge: